Recent content by the ironmonger

Sol Campbell talented?? Praps you don't remember the Brazil game in the WC. Ronaldino running at the defence. Rio Ferdinand backing up in front of Ronaldino. What was Campbell doing? He figured his job was to back up Ferdinand! We leaned it at school -- don't leave your man unmarked while...

Quote from Quest4Less The main thing wrong with lawyers is that they try to get the guilty off. It is one thing to defend the innocent, but when you know your client is guilty all you should be doing is pleading guilty and throwing your client on the mercy of the court. A lawyer should...

According to the nature programs, the largest penis is a blue whale's, which is twelve feet long. (They didn't say, but I take it that means when erect.) A gorilla's penis is in the one-inch range. A chimpanzee's penis has a bone in it, to hold it up. The thing I like is that there are some...

1st Canadian: Maybe we've already died, and gone to heaven. 2nd Canadian: Maybe we've already died and gone to other place. 1st Canadian, after pondering for a moment: No, the other place would have been further south . . .

guns don't kill people - only people kill people. that's like saying a kid makes just as much noise whether he has a drum or not.

This thread reminds me of the time I was designated driver, ferrying the fallen home in my van. They decided they needed to relieve some of the internal pressure, but we couldn't find a place to stop. So they opened the back door -- picture six guys all pissing simultaneously out of the back...

361. On women, do you prefer fat legs or thin legs? or something in between?

What do you call a judge with no thumbs? - Mr Justice Fingers

Oh Canada?? no, wait...

But GB -- how can they not have noticed that if there's a slight blemish, dim lighting doesn't cover it up, it accentuates it. High contrast lighting, where a single light source shines sideways across the person, is the worst. The Greeks would never have gone to rescue Helen of Troy, if...

This is the burning question of our age. Is it the SC managers? There must be many dancers who love being in the live entertainment business, the excitement of being on stage, the applause, the bright lights -- but the stingy management is saving a buck on the hydro. Or is it the ladies...

Hey Train: So how else would you compare nations' inventive prowess, if not by comparing their patents-per-graduate ratios? Obviously, it's no good just to count the number of patents. And the number of patents per head of population is hopelessly biassed against countries with poor...

Recently I saw a comment on another thread, to the effect that Canadians are among the world's leaders when it comes to inventions and patents. Actually, Canada's record in that area is abysmal. Just counting patents is not a measure of a nation's inventiveness - Canada gets more patents than...

Two drunks have missed the last bus home. They decide to steal a bus, and they break into the bus garage. After half an hour of stumbling about, one says, "Can you believe it, there isn't a single number sixteen in the whole place." The other says, "Never mind, we can take this number fifteen...

It depends whether you plan to continue. -- "By the way, I used to work as an escort," sounds a lot less likely to bust a new relationship than, "I love the money I make as an escort." Think of it the other way round: suppose you've been on a few dates, and you're starting to wonder about...