Do you ask them their real names?

I never ask but I've had a few regulars tell me their real names.

I never ask, and it’s usually a bad sign in the cases where they volunteer it to me. Generally means I’ve been sucked in too hard, they’re playing the “I trust you” game, which usually is closely followed by non-session-related requests for money or expensive gifts, guilt tripping about booking more often, or emotional dumping about problems in her life. Often all three.

I know a lot of their first names for whatever reasons. Some have told me as part of a story, they are re-telling me about their day or something, like say a client asked them on a real date and they say "So I say to myself, Donna, do you really want to go on a date with this guy?" type of thing. Some you accidentally find out, like they have a piece of mail sitting out, or when you punch in their buzz code at the apartment, their name comes up. Some just outright tell me after I've seen them a bit.

One lady who I have known for over 10 years and have known her name all that time, and she has known mine, still calls me by my board name. I asked her one time why she doesn't call me by my real name and she said it's just that she is so used to my fake name that that's how she see's me, my real name seems fake to her. So that led me to wondering what name I have used with various ladies because quite often anymore, I just say my actual name. I only really use my board name if it's someone from the board I'm contacting. So I reached out to a lady I started seeing less than 2 years ago and asked what is my name to her. She told me and asked why, and I said about this other girl calling me a username even though she knows my real name, so I was curious what name I gave her when I started seeing her. That led to her getting me to guess what her name is. I told her I was fine knowing her by her work name, but she seemed to want me to know so I played along and finally got it. I told her that actually is a better escort name than her escort name lol.

No, definitely not, getting to know personal details about a provider can lead to being involved in their personal life and that rarely ends well

No. Not a good idea to ask. A few times they have volunteered their real name, and that’s fine, but I’d never ask. I’m not really sure why anyone would.

YoYoHoward said:

After a few times seeing a girl, especially if the sex is fantastic - why else repeat with a girl - I often ask or guess at her real name. Of course even that can be a lie, but I’ve seen passports, health cards, drivers licenses - sometimes at least it’s really real (the passport was to buy her a vape pen - no idea why that was her only form of ID).

Does it help get you off? Make the connection more “real”?

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Anyone who asks a girl’s real name should be willing to give up his real name as well. And if he’s not, then it’s all about leverage.

Lilo Brancata said:

Anyone who asks a girl’s real name should be willing to give up his real name as well. And if he’s not, then it’s all about leverage.

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Yup. Knowing her real name involves another level of trust. If you earn it, she can give it, but
if you ask, it can be seen as crossing a boundary and be invasive.

I’ve been curious, but never ask. Sometimes they volunteer it.

I never ask, cuz I don't see any benefit from knowing their real name.

And if they offer it I politely decline, saying it will get me confused due to my old age...

massman said:

No. Not a good idea to ask. A few times they have volunteered their real name, and that’s fine, but I’d never ask. I’m not really sure why anyone would.

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Asking is a huge invasion of her privacy IMO, no matter how many times I’ve seen her or how well seem to click. There is no reason to know.
If she volunteers it or it comes out that's fine, I guess it means she’s comfortable around me which I appreciate. But in cases where this has happened I always continue calling her by her professional name. I’m spending time with her in her escort persona, not as part of her private life.

I know a few real names,
-one SP, first time seeing her, during chit chat in session, she showed me video of her on her lap top, of her being on a tv show, and her real name was mentioned.
-another told me her real name, but she said she answers to her SP name, lol

Some I know by accident.
-while talking to an agency owner, they accidentally referred to an SP by her real name and then said you didn't hear that!
-another I found out by looking at "Model Mayhem" website, and saw her profile, it also had pics of her when she was a Sunshine Girl several times
-another , while chit chatting, she mentioned her real name while speaking in the 3rd person. she didn't even realize it and continued with conversation.
-another , saw her in the early 90's, years later, found out her real name in the news, as she was arrested for multiple counts of fraud using multiple identities to dupe men out of $$$$$$.
-another, saw a hot SP duo, a blonde and brunetten the 90's, saw their ad in the papers, found out they were rappers in a local toronto musical act, they were interview by CITY TV's The New Music.

ElCapitain said:

I never ask, and it’s usually a bad sign in the cases where they volunteer it to me. Generally means I’ve been sucked in too hard, they’re playing the “I trust you” game, which usually is closely followed by non-session-related requests for money or expensive gifts, guilt tripping about booking more often, or emotional dumping about problems in her life. Often all three.

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Damn, this is what's happening to me. Do you think the "guilt tripping about booking more often, or emotional dumping about problems in her life" is genuine, or not? It seems pretty genuine to me.

I think a lot of these girls actually have a lot of personal problems. And they are constantly complaining about their day.

But I always wonder if I'm being played.

Gentleman771 said:

Damn, this is what's happening to me. Do you think the "guilt tripping about booking more often, or emotional dumping about problems in her life" is genuine, or not? It seems pretty genuine to me.

But I always wonder if I'm being played.

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The same scenario has played out for me four times. Some of us guys are just magnets for this. Genuine isn’t really the right word to look for, but eventually you spot discrepancies in their stories, the asks get bigger over time, you find a portion of your help is going up their nose, or another provider is just blunt with you warning you that this person is using you.

It just never ends well.

YoYoHoward said:

Interesting that this happens to a number of guys - I’ve literally never had a girl ask for outside “help”. Not sure if somehow I don’t radiate that as a possibility- hell I don’t even tip or bring gifts.

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Yeah, I’ve come to accept I radiate something that makes me a bit of a mark. These girls are good at reading people.

Couldn't care less.

hurop said:

Do you wear glasses? Do you look rich? Do you look like Santa Claus? What do you look like that makes girls want to ask you for money?

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If you look like you make good money, are handsome, charming, good smile, are clean, smell good, calm, empathetic, and look like boyfriend material

No, I don't think wearing glasses would work. You look too nerdy. You have to look more like a Leonardo Dicaprio, James Dean type.

They want charming businessmen gentlemen, who work in client relations, etc.

They want: #1 rich, #2 handsome, #3 clean and smells good, #4 empathetic, calm, and stoic

Also, if you don't have client facing experience (going to business conferences, going out to eat with business clients/business partners), and have firm boundaries (even for me, I'm slipping a bit here), they will chew you the fuck up. Would not recommend it.

I'm all of these things, and wanted to experience dating an escort over a civie girl, I'm 1.5 months in now, and no matter how empathetic, calm, and stoic I initially am, dealing with them is still very emotionally draining.

seanzo said:

I never ask but I've had a few regulars tell me their real names.

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Same here; if they want to share then great but I know I could be interacting with a made-up persona so why put extra load on the fantasy.

ElCapitain said:

I never ask, and it’s usually a bad sign in the cases where they volunteer it to me. Generally means I’ve been sucked in too hard, they’re playing the “I trust you” game, which usually is closely followed by non-session-related requests for money or expensive gifts, guilt tripping about booking more often, or emotional dumping about problems in her life. Often all three.

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I’ve gotten that kind of request, once, to a stale email address that I didn’t check often, and I didn’t know her real name. I’ve never gotten such a request from a girl whose name I know.