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:hail::hail::hail::hail::hail::hail::hail::hail::hail::hail:

Clementine Smithereens has trekked across the Great White North from Vancouver, BC just to f*ck you...and Lacey Jade. What a debaucherous cacophony of butts, ink, lips, boobs, and attitude. Wham bam you’re welcome, man. We’ve got enough slut between us to satisfy most reasonable requests. Come...

*walks onstage as the crowd roars* 
“HOW ARE YOU TONIGHT TERRRRBBBBB!!!?????”
 *guitar chord*
 *grown men faint in the front row*

 This is the real girlfriend experience. Come visit me in my luxury condo downtown while I'm visiting the 416. I’m a coy, confident, silly, sensual...