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This works, believe you me.

Hello y'all. Recently, my son has been very fucking happy, and I had no idea why. He's also been quite accommodating lately, and that's quite unsettling. For example, the other day when I told him my supply of cheap tequila was getting low, and ordered him to go down to the local Lick-Bow to...

Hello!

I beg your pardon?

Bitch is honing in on my action. The difference is that I can gum with my pussy. And it feels AWESOME.

Can I come along? I own a strap-on that is moulded from Goober's semi-erect phallus. It's wintergreen flavoured.

...to me?

:LKJL:KJFoiIOJELj{usef;l Get me smokes!

I'm fine.

They're making fun of me? HA! See if I spread my legs, deep-throat their cocks and swallow their jizz anymore. Hi fjdude. Do you have any pics?

Tell me about it.

I'm Goober's mom. Duh.

Thank you La Contessa. I would like to announce that my new name will be "Mrs. Goober's Mom Fang" after Cardy and I tie the knot in Myanmar this Saturday. Best wishes only please.

Hi you sexy stud of a man you.

Damn straight I did. I taught the boy all he knows! So, you Bi? Nice tits, baby. Woohoo!!!! Shake your money maker!

Thanks parang! Goober hasn't got me a mother's day present since I told him that every day was kid's day. I just don't know what to do with him sometimes. I slaved on my back for years to give him everything he wanted. I got callouses on my knees to pay for his education. And this is the...

I do stand when I pee...

I'm sorry that I will have to pre-emptively decline as my schedule won't permit it. I am already posing for four other calendars: Trailerpark Quarterly Eczema and Melanoma Wrench and Pulley Television and Hott N' Sexxxy Albino Chixxx

Regretfully, I will not be able to make it tonight. I'm having the double-wide cleaned, and Gooby's coming over later to trim the tree (whatever that means...)