advice on pre-mature ejaculation etiquette

[Fay]

and try not to poke fun too much, as this can be a little emotional I'm sure for the guys who go through this...

Guys and gals, could you provide some direction on this one? This has happened a few times: a client ejacualtes within the first ten or twenty minutes of a one or two hour session, often without having gone very far, like just taking each others clothes off or from touching his lovely manhood I had a bf who was a quick-shooter, but it was fine because he could be up again in a few minutes, could climax 3 times within an hour and held out longer every time....so my natural inclination is to get them a warm cloth, clean up, and then be all "grrr, tiger!" and try to get them going for "round two".

But not all guys can get in going again within the same hour or two, (and some I suspect not even in the same day!) Are many guys really unable to get and keep another erection within an hour or two of their last shot? Is this often related to some kind of performance anxiety or embarassment from climaxing so quickly the first time?

More importantly, what is my duty etiquette-wise as an sp? If I keep acting sexy and try to get him going again, will this just make him more embarassed about not being able to go again? If I don't, and instead start making small-talk, do I risk him thinking that I've given up on him and am trying to cheat him out of the rest of his session? Do I wait for him to give me a cue? Should I be direct and just ask? What is the best way to go about this without embarassing anybody and keeping it discreet and fantasy-like?

 

[Fay]

LOL Let there be no misunderstanding: by "trying to get him going again" I don't mean I'm literally jumping on him, grabbing Mr. Johnson by the neck and swatting him about the head! LOL I'm not trying THAT hard! What I mean is more like, what kind of persona or energy should I revert to? See, I can't tell from the get-go what kinda guy he is or what his body's habits are like. He may be one of those guys who shoots in 30 seconds and won't be able to again that day even if he wants to, or he may habitually be a once every 20 minutes kinda guy. I've sorta got the impression from some reviews that guys have climaxed and been disappointed in their sp for sort of "cooling off" and getting chatty or cuddly instead of continuing with the seductive mistress personna. But then, like you say six, if he's not going to be able to get there so easily, I don't want him to feel like HE has to perform for or keep up with ME.

I'd never leave before the time is up, that's for sure. But how to tell how he wants to spend the remaining time, and what kind of energy to put out? I'm talking strictly for guys who have ejaculated before the "service" part (aside from conversation) really got a chance to get going.

 

[tboy]

Good advice all around! Being the sort of guy who can get off too quickly (depends on the circumstances, sometimes it takes forever!) Hell, in the words of George Castanza: SOmetimes just putting the condom on is enough for me! LOL I would also say it is up to the client to determine the speed with which he cums. He should have some experience with this. If he know he is a quick draw, then he should be guiding the encounter for lots of 4 play instead of hopping right into it.

When I feel myself getting too excited I pause, take a break, or move to another position to slow down the process. Same goes if I am getting a BJ: if I feel myself getting too excited I simply reach down and lift her head up.

I realize that many client's expect an sp to "see all/know all/react properly in "all" situations but that isn't a reasonable assumption. Whatever you do just be sensitive about it, and go by the advice: if in doubt, ask.......

 

[Fay]

Six,

Are you sure that's universally kosher, though? I know a lot of guys have no problem with that way of adressing it, but I was like that with one guy once ("what would you like do next?" "You let me know when you're ready for the next one" "Would you like a back rub?") and it just seemed to make things more awkward somehow. Or maybe it wasn't making anything MORE awkward per se, but it didn't seem to help any, and it almost seemed to put him off a little, like it was drawing attention to "it" too much. Maybe I was just reading that one wrong, I dunno. That seemed to me to be the best way of going about it too, but based on this guys reaction, I'm not so sure anymore.

 

[SoldierBoy]

Just be direct

Fay - IMHO, I prefer the direct approach. If the guy isn't ready or into another SOG, or even the attempt of same, it's his dime, isn't it?
I agree, some guys probably think shooting fast is an "unmanly" thing to do but like you said, the 2nd round is usually endless fucking in multiple positions.
When this happens to me, I don't need my playmate to get me going again. Once I catch my breath, I turn my attention to the lady and once I go into oral mode, I'm diamond cutter hard again. I haven't had any complaints yet......
SB

 

[MojoRisin']

im not sure why a guy would book for 2 hrs if he knew he was a quick shooter and wouldnt be able to get it up again in that time. Unless he just wanted to cuddle...i assume there are guys that just want to do that after..

 

[incognito]

LOL Let there be no misunderstanding: by "trying to get him going again" I don't mean I'm literally jumping on him, grabbing Mr. Johnson by the neck and swatting him about the head! LOL I'm not trying THAT hard!

I don't know. Some guys here might actually enjoy that, and i think you guys know who you are.

Incognito

 

[WhaWhaWha]

Fay where have you been all my life? Never before have I imagined that any SP anywhere even cared two figs about the way a guy feels after the "moment". It's nice to see you do. Having said that, don't expect any two guys to feel the same, react the same, want the same thing, in any combination afterward. The best policy is to be yourself. Don't ever get jaded and go looking for any 40 minute hours like some other girls do.

 

[shack]

The first thing that comes to mind for me is that when he comes so easily the first time to let him know how erotic it was for you that you could make him cum so quickly or something to that effect for the purpose of trying to make him feel better about it. Silver lining type of thing.

Then just ask him what he would like now. Some cuddling and pillow talk or back to action. Does he want to try cumming again and if so does he have any preferences as to how to go about it. For me it would be just relaxing in bed and after a short while the lady starts to kiss me while manually (not aggressively though) stimulating my (hopefully soon to be) hardware. This has the most effect if done without my prompting.

As others have said though, different guys like different things.

 

[Fay]

Thankyou, guys, some magnificent advice all-around! And the sliver lining-approach is clever, one that had never occurred to me, thank-you! I'll keep that in mind.

Yes, it is the very fact that all men are not the same that makes this occurrence a dilemma, unfortunately. Kinda like how not all women are ecstatic if you buy them chocolate (one says "Ooooh, those are my favourite, thank you" the other says "You bastard, you know those are my favourite, don't you realise I'm on a diet?!?!") or make hot and lusty advances on them (one feels all complimeted and sexy and says "Mmmm, c'mere stud!" and another might say "What is your problem? We just did that last week, leave me alone. Am I a sex object to you? Don't you respect me?"

 

[visitor]

I have to say that this is one of the most constructive exchanges I've ever seen here. To Fay I think I'd suggest something along the following somwehat abstract lines. If the fellow cums early in the session, as in this case, and if that is the first time you've seen him, you're obviously not going to solve his problem during that session. So I would immediately start thinking both short and long term. On the short side, during the rest of the session try cuddling and see if you can get him excited in as many ways as possible. But most importantly try to make him comfortable so that he will return. That's where the long term comes in. Over the next few sessions try to work on the timing of things, change pace a little, see if you can figure out how to sustain his excitement while delaying his ejaculation. If after several sessions this works out well, then he will almost certainly become your regular. He will not want to risk going to someone else who may not uderstand his needs and with whom he might come too early again. In contrast, with the understanding you've shown, he'll be committed to you.

 

[WhaWhaWha]

...and another might say "What is your problem? We just did that last week, leave me alone. Am I a sex object to you? Don't you respect me?"

Hey leave my ex wife outta this...

 

[WhaWhaWha]

Now here's the image of the man I want helping me with my Libido...

Holy fark! If you want some credibility as a medical professional during a lecture here's a thought... Comb your hair!

 

[MojoRisin']

Re: It would vary ...

Mojo...your right some men just like cuddling after and others use the rest of the time to please there partner in hopes of another SOG . Most hockey players like yourself book for 2 hours in hopes of MSOG's ..LOL . Long time no see Mojo , hope all is well ..;-)

Misty

I understand the cuddling part, however i would most likely be involved in the later part of the scenerio...pleasing my partner, as you know (or have heard). All is well sexy and im glad we got to finally talk again today. Glad you are also well

 

[Gord's Bro]

Over the next few sessions try to work on the timing of things, change pace a little, see if you can figure out how to sustain his excitement while delaying his ejaculation. If after several sessions this works out well, then he will almost certainly become your regular. He will not want to risk going to someone else who may not uderstand his needs and with whom he might come too early again. In contrast, with the understanding you've shown, he'll be committed to you.

Great advice visitor! As one who would likely fall into that category, couldn't say it better. To me, the experience would be as much about the WHOLE experience rather than just the release. If that whole experience is to be reversed (release followed by mutual pleasuring) so be it.

G's B.

 

[onthebottom]

OTB

I don't know. Some guys here might actually enjoy that, and i think you guys know who you are.

Incognito

** looks around and raises his hand....

OTB

 

[Fay]

Re: OTB

** looks around and raises his hand....

OTB

ROTFLMFAO! Oh really? I'm pretty sure that's something you'd have to request clearly right from the beginning of the session, or you might be disappointed! Maybe even provide a little demo to show just how much battering it can take!

 

[rdhaired_vixen]

sometimes a different approach to what you did the first time is nessessary. sometimes if ya gentle try being naughtier... or whatever oposite ya did before .. cuddling is always good and or let him daty i know alot of men who get hard doing that!!!

 

[onthebottom]

OTB

....... or let him daty i know alot of men who get hard doing that!!!

*raises his hand again, arm getting cramped!*

OTB