Am I falling for this lady?

[Kirkland]

After my divorce debacle I posted on here, I took a break from this hobby to fix my personal life. Now i'm single, unemployed (by choice) and just enjoying my life.

I recently saw Tina at Eva's and i thought that would turn me away from this hobby forever, but boy was I wrong.

I won't mention her by name, but i saw an escort that has been well reviewed after the HUGE dissapointment at Eva's. I've visited a few escorts (more then 10, less then 20), and have repeated with many, but I didn't really click with them like i did with this girl.

The first session I had with her, I felt she was a really good SP, and we really clicked. For the first time I felt like an SP was genuinely attracted to me and didn't just see me as a dollar sign (a sign of a great SP). We went over by double the time limit (i'm well aware this happens with many good SPs), and she genuinely seemed like she enjoyed my company. We had great sex and just talked about life and what not. After I realized the time, I apologized and got going.

At this point, i thought to myself I found an awesome SP that I can repeat with. My two meetings with her after went pretty much like the first session, except while we were cuddling, she talked about many personal things with me. Again, we went waaaay over the time limit, and towards the end she gave me an expensive piece of jewlery, easily worth atleast the ammount of the session, and asked me to wear it for her the next time I see her. While I left, she then suggested that we keep in touch, and we should text each other more often. At this point, i felt a real sense of attraction from this girl for me.

We keep in touch and text and what not, and she agreed to go on a date with me. This is the first time in my life that I've done anything like this with an SP/Stripper. I always thought I wouldn't go out with a call girl or a stripper due to fear of one of my friends/Johns recognizing her as an SP and I would feel embarassed about it, but I didn't really care when it came to this girl. I just wanted to go out and have a fun time with her regardless of what anyone thought. We had a night out, had a great dinner a movie. No, our date did not end up in freebie sex. I'm well aware that many of you are going to say "she's just using you if she's not letting have it for free off the clock". It could of easily ended like this, but I didn't do it for two reason; 1. I didn't want her to think that I took her out and did all this because I was trying to score free a session and 2. I didn't want to blur the line of what this girl actually is to me. I reminded myself that she's an escort, that I pay to have sex with her and that she is not my girlfriend.

I felt a real sense of mutual attraction between us. I felt that she really liked me. I was hoping to never get in a mess like this, but here I am. I always grew up not wanting to get divorced and I ended up doing it anyways, life is truly unpredictable.

I've done my research on TERB, and read many threads such as the "dating an escort" thread and "why escorts don't see younger men". It's funny that many of the things that were said in the thread about younger men pretty much sounded like me. Since our fast-repeating encounters and our date, this escort seems to be distancing herself from me. Should I just let it be? She has asked me not to see her so often anymore, and asked me to see her at most once a week. I read another thread on here like this also funny enough.

As for this entire post and my thread title, I don't really want to know if i'm falling for this escort, because i probably am. I realized this on our date, that I did not care what anyone thought of me while i was with this girl. She is noticably older then me, which made her uncomfortable at first I think (it was a new experience for me also, going on a date with an older lady), but by the end of the date she was all over me as if we were long time lovers.

This post was pretty much just to share my adventure with the rest of you TERBies and hopefully anyone with similar experiences can chime in and let me know how these situations ended. I guess my real question is, is she just a really damn good SP or is there more to it?

Flame on people, I want to hear back from the community. Insults, criticism, advice, stories, anything is welcomed.

 

[freestuff]

I've never dated a sex worker so I can't help you there. But there are two things you should consider. One, as you said, she is distancing herself from you. Obviously, she can sense that you're taking this "relationship" beyond what she's comfortable with (at this time). You need to abide by her wishes and back off or you're going to scare her away. And two, are you willing to have a serious relationship with a woman who, for a living, has sex with other men? Are you going to ask her to quit her SP job? Regardless of what you do, I wish you luck.

 

[Bella Italiana]

WOW...This reminds me of Pretty Woman.....

 

[red]

good luck

 

[Kirkland]

I've never dated a sex worker so I can't help you there. But there are two things you should consider. One, as you said, she is distancing herself from you. Obviously, she can sense that you're taking this "relationship" beyond what she's comfortable with (at this time). You need to abide by her wishes and back off or you're going to scare her away. And two, are you willing to have a serious relationship with a woman who, for a living, has sex with other men? Are you going to ask her to quit her SP job? Regardless of what you do, I wish you luck.

She is definitely distancing herself, although if it's to stop her from falling for me or me from falling deeper for her, I don't know. I sense that she fears that a relationship between us can't be any good for either of us, and that it won't be a long lasting relationship. We've talked about relationships and what not, and i sense from her that she thinks it's better for me to find a lady my age to have a relationship with. To be honest, I fear the same thing. How serious am I about her? I don't know. She has atleast 8-10 years on me, and she seemed afraid to do anything i wasn't really comfortable with until I told her it's okay to hold on to my arm while we're walking together. I told her I don't really care what people think.

As for her being an SP, I always thought this would be a deal breaker for me, but you know what? I don't really care. It was how I met her, so i won't demonize her for doing this job. When I think about her, I don't really see her as that, but more so as a lady that i actually genuinely care for. SPing to me, for her is just her day job, I'm not comfortable with telling ANYONE to quit their day job unless I'm taking care of them as good as if they had a day job.

I really don't know what to do. I can cut my losses now and just not see her again. But feelings don't work that way. I also don't even know what I'm expecting out of all this, which just makes the sitaution all the worse.

 

[wazup]

She was playin you to see how much coin you had, figured out you weren`t rich, so she backed off. You saw her more than twice a week so she knew you liked her, don`t kid yourself, she had an angle.

Thought she could take you for a few bucks if you had coin. If she was falling for you she wouldn`t want to see you at all.

 

[assholee]

Wazup is spot on. Sp's want someone to take care of them so they can get out of the buisness. Alreardy was told this by 2 sp's who were single lol

 

[danmand]

She is definitely distancing herself, although if it's to stop her from falling for me or me from falling deeper for her, I don't know. I sense that she fears that a relationship between us can't be any good for either of us, and that it won't be a long lasting relationship. We've talked about relationships and what not, and i sense from her that she thinks it's better for me to find a lady my age to have a relationship with. To be honest, I fear the same thing. How serious am I about her? I don't know. She has atleast 8-10 years on me, and she seemed afraid to do anything i wasn't really comfortable with until I told her it's okay to hold on to my arm while we're walking together. I told her I don't really care what people think.

As for her being an SP, I always thought this would be a deal breaker for me, but you know what? I don't really care. It was how I met her, so i won't demonize her for doing this job. When I think about her, I don't really see her as that, but more so as a lady that i actually genuinely care for. SPing to me, for her is just her day job, I'm not comfortable with telling ANYONE to quit their day job unless I'm taking care of them as good as if they had a day job.

I really don't know what to do. I can cut my losses now and just not see her again. But feelings don't work that way. I also don't even know what I'm expecting out of all this, which just makes the sitaution all the worse.

Life has too few good things for us, so if there is a chance for something good, I would explore it. By all means protect yourself financially, if not emotionally. You can explore if she wants to leave the business and start a new life with you.

 

[massman]

Tough situation, but if she is pullin back, and suggesting you only see her (as an escort) very so often, sounds like
she wants to keep the relationship professional. Her motivation is most likely that she doesn't want a relationship under these circumstances, it's possible she's freaked out but her own evolving feelings too. Either way unlikely that this will
work ou I fear. You have three options
1. Keep it professional- but this will be difficult as you are already falling for her. Controlling those feelings is next to impossible.
2. Keep trying to win her over. If she has real feelings then it MAY be possible- but equally likely she will just cut you out completely, and you don't want to end up a stalker! But at least you will end up really knowing what her feelings are
3. Cut it off. Immediately. Like ripping off a bandaid hurts a lot now, but the pain will be more short lived.

 

[goalie000]

If she is distancing herself from you then she has decided that the relationship won't work. Even if you were to continue to develop the relationship it will get harder. Trust me, her day job will start to bother you, you will think about what she is doing a lot. It is difficult to have this type of relationship as honesty and trust are hard to maintain specially if she wants to continue in the business.

 

[simon482]

take the SP portion out of it as her job shouldn't matter. she asked you to back off, which you should if you really respect her. also did you say this is the first person you have hooked up with since a really bitter divorce ? so this could just be a rebound type deal where a woman is paying attention to you and being nice to you and now you are falling for her because you have been alone for a while after being hurt. i think that has more to do with it then anything, you got hurt and now you are latching on to the first woman that shows you affection.

 

[dood]

I'll chime in on this. I've dated 3 SP's. The first was a great relationship with a woman that was simply so broken she needed to leave the city (and country) to rebuild her life. We're still great friends. The second I don't even want to think about. The third (current) SP shows huge promise. She's a great chick, separates work from reality, is open and honest & she lets me know her schedule. Any social time with clients was eliminated (which is important for me). She's got issues with males & trust but that will pass. I'm confident. She impresses me....something women generally don't do.

You need to realize that SP's are naturally suspicious of males in general. They need to be. What happens IF you break up with her and you're pissed off? Will the bad reviews start? Or maybe you're a stalker & you won't let go? Want to date an SP? My best advice is let them control the level of trust & what they can offer you. Give them the reigns. Doesn't mean you can't be attentive but don't push for things. As for the whole sex thing, try holding off and NOT expecting sex with her. JUST because shes' an SP doesn't mean you should date her any different than a regular woman.

Personally man, I'd write her, apologize if you did something wrong and was too forward then step back and take some time away. If she's interested, she'll come back, if not..she won't. Just move on. Do NOT waste your time chasing someone that's "on the fence". You'll just end up burned and hurt.

And good luck dude. There is no "Pretty Woman". In my time being involved with Sex Workers I've learned a great deal about this trade, much of it I could have probably lived without ;-). You'll always get the sanitized version.

Most of all..to all you pooners, please treat these women with respect and dignity. They are people. They deserve the same respect and dignity that all of us expect in life.

 

[bowser]

She's not interested, why not move on?

 

[TeasePlease]

Dood speaks the truth.

As for sex, expect feast or famine.

 

[kissykisskiss]

Wazup is spot on. Sp's want someone to take care of them so they can get out of the buisness. Alreardy was told this by 2 sp's who were single lol

Bullsh..!Stop labeling.She is a woman,not an SP.WE are women first,SP's second.Stop speaking for us Women.If you want to know how someone FEELS just ask them.It's so simple.If we wanted someone to take care of us then we would seek that no matter what field we work in.I want to think that we are independent women with our own reasons,situations,thoughts and feelings for what we do,how we do it and who we do it with.Individuals within ourselves.How dare you speak so lowly of someone who you don't even know.Your onesidedness makes me really wonder what kind of people you are.People who I certainly would not want in my circle of friends.Shame on you both "assholee and Wazup".
Kirkland you have fallen for a WOMAN who you genuinely like,you care about her because she is unique,charismatic,kind or simply because she has qualities that you are attracted to because of the person you are.Tell her truly how you feel ask her to be honest and tell you her feelings.No matter what she says if you honestly care for her then you will always care for her whether you end up deeply in love or not.This depends solely on the person you are inside.I could go on but I hope that intelligent self confident men get the jist of what I am saying.

 

[kissykisskiss]

Also,you were told by 2 SP's who were single."Well for goodness sakes now we know everything about every woman don't we?"TWO out thousands of women.Maybe these two feel the way that they do,their prerogative.What of all the others?In your tiny little mind,I guess this represents the whole female population hm?

 

[assholee]

Also,you were told by 2 SP's who were single."Well for goodness sakes now we know everything about every woman don't we?"TWO out thousands of women.Maybe these two feel the way that they do,their prerogative.What of all the others?In your tiny little mind,I guess this represents the whole female population hm?

Ok well I wasnt trying to be offensive or anything. i also fell for a women that works as a Sp (happy?) and I seen her maybe 6-7 times and She would also let me stay for much longer. Chemistry was great so I asked if she wanted to go out with me and she responded "you would have to be a wealthy man to support me and my son" and I asked what if I wasnt? She said "then you would have a girlfriend doing this" so I left it at that. Sure I was disapointed but its the truth. She had nothing to fall back on (like a degree) and I would assume this is true for most sp's.

 

[fmahovalich]

There is always the insecurity a vast majority of these girls feel. Often times, they don't have a positive self image and when they find someone that actually compliments and betters them, they bring on the insecurity and sabatage the relationship.

This further drives them into feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. Its a revolving cycle, that angers the girl (at times) and frustrates the guy!

I would not spend more money...at least not with the intention of winning her heart.

You treated her nice...she may have trouble dealing with that! Again self image is lacking!

 

[kissykisskiss]

Ok well I wasnt trying to be offensive or anything. i also fell for a women that works as a Sp (happy?) and I seen her maybe 6-7 times and She would also let me stay for much longer. Chemistry was great so I asked if she wanted to go out with me and she responded "you would have to be a wealthy man to support me and my son" and I asked what if I wasnt? She said "then you would have a girlfriend doing this" so I left it at that. Sure I was disapointed but its the truth. She had nothing to fall back on (like a degree) and I would assume this is true for most sp's.

True for most SP's hm?Aren't you just the clever one?Come here,closer,closer..................SAAAAAAAALAP!Smarten up man!

 

[danmand]

assholee, stop arguing with the kissygirl. You are going to lose.