Any ideas on how to deal with difficult roommates

[MajorMattMason]

Hello:

I have had a male roommate for 3 years, quiet, no trouble, paid on time, good roommate.

Last fall, his girlfriend lost her house through foreclosure and ended up with us with her 13 year old son. We are all about 45. I let her do this with reservations, as she is quite a handful. It has been very tense here ever since.

This morning i blew up at her about creating chaos and uproar. Of course, she blames the bf. She claims he is a very subtle and sneaky shit disturber, and that may be possible. I told her to to get counseling by next week or be out. (believe me she needs it) After a 2 hour talk with her I now feel bad because the BF does have something to do with it.

So here is my question,

Who do I throw out, him, her, both??? I am at my whits end after 4 months.
Any ideas on how to get peace back in my home?? She pays on time. I have talked till I am blue in the face and have lost too much work time. I work at home.

Thanks in advance

Matt

 

[TheNiteHwk]

It's very difficult to establish boundries and limits after having let them lax for a period of time. (sounds to me like this may be the case) The huge effort, headaches etc... may not be worth it. Kick 'em both out.

 

[stinkynuts]

Since you had no problems when you were with just the boyfriend, let him stay. Also, give the girlfriend a second chance. If she doesn't get her act together, kick her out.

 

[oral.com]

I agree with TNH give them both the boot, turn down your stress level. Finding someone new and uncomplicated may take effort but sounds like your heading in that direction anyway

 

[Hard Idle]

Give them an ultimatum immediately and see how it goes one week at a time. Make clear that you want her to leave within a certain amount of months, but if there is trouble she'll be out sooner.

If things were going well with the guy by himself, there's a chance the trouble will be over once the Mom is out. If this guy was commited to her in any way, wouldn't he have gone to live with her in the first place? A guy in his 40's who's renting a room isn't going to jeopardize his arrangement over a needy older woman with baggage and a 13 year old son.

You just made it too easy for them - people who are fucking are likely to form aliances in the house - you can't play them off against each other like you can with regular tenants. Don't let yourself get outnumbered like that.

 

[papasmerf]

give him 30 days notice and place an ad

if he bitches tell him loose the extra weight

 

[great bear]

Dump the guy have sex with the girl.

 

[papasmerf]

Dump the guy have sex with the girl.

you are just hoping you can eat the guy


You are sick

Sick you bastard

 

[MajorMattMason]

Dump the guy have sex with the girl.

I wouldn't fuck her with YOUR dick


Hard idle..

yeh, he did move in with her and then back out. I fucked up and ignored the signs, optimistically believing in people.

matt

 

[great bear]

Well in that case dump the girl and have sex with the guy. Failing that PM both Papasmerf and A-Rod they both like a good time.

 

[torex]

I'm curious...

does she work? does her boyfreind work? if so how come they can't get their own place with a double income comming in?

I think from what you've told us that you need them all to leave. You legally have to give them 60 days unless they are a threat to you. Oil Please makes a good suggestion in how to approach them.

You should nicely tell them that its just not working and that they need to find a new place within 60 days. Tell them that you will provide them with a positive refrence

I'm assuming they are freinds of yours but if things turn ugly and they get violent or hostile,goto the tribunal and fill out an eviction form(for tenant violence). I forget which form it is but it will get them out sooner than 60 days. you obviously will have to pay the $150 fee and have a hearing within a week but it will get them out in a hurry.

don't be the nice guy. You should'nt have to deal with the shit.It does'nt matter if they pay on time.you should be comfortable in "YOUR" own home.

 

[Svend]

You were able to have a 2 hour talk with her and you discovered some of her problems. Is it still a write-off situation?
I'm asking because it's difficult to find good roommates in the same general age bracket.
If it doesn't work, then I'd give them both the boot. They don't have to be your problem.

 

[MajorMattMason]

Hi.

She does not work. She is on public assistance. He is a hard worker and works in his own business. He ain't committing to her because of the way she has been, as someone said earlier. I was trying to be helpful, but i seriouly believe her to have a bipolar disorder, and maybe not completely responsible for her actions. I need some urging to throw a needy person out on the street.

Forgot to tell you this is New York State. The law says she has 30 days from the next rent due date to leave

I forgot to mention the best part...

The kid is exploring his sexuality. He makes lewd and innapropriate gestures and conversation with other males even old adult males, groping, touching, etc. and will not seem to stop until you yell at him several times. This makes some of us very uncomfortable. He then cannot seem to understand why I get mad.

I just need to tell them I need my privacy and ask them when can they be out. This is just very uncomfortable right now. I am not relying on the money, but the income is nice.

Thanks all very much for the help
Matt