Can you love more?

[dreamblade]

Some of us can love more than one person. We can entertain several loving, nurturing, healthy relationships at the same time. I know there are a few poly folk on the board, and thought you'd like to check out last week's Xtra article about what polyamory actually is and how to make it work.

So folks, it's Valentine's Day... Can you love more?

http://www.xtra.ca/public/Toronto/Gimme_more-6277.aspx

 

[Plan B]

Without reading the article from the gay magazine, I can say without a doubt that we can love more than one person at a time.In fact, people would probably be happier if they could do it without the societal guilt involved. One partner cannot possibly meet a person's needs. It's too bad that society frowns so much on something other than monogamy.

 

[capncrunch]

Of course we can love more than one person.

Got 2 kids? Love them both?

Love is not a zero-sum game, whereby you're only allotted a certain amount and if you use it up on one person it's unavailable for someone else. In fact, it's probably the opposite of that: the more you love, the more you're able to love.

(gawd, I'm philosophical today... scotch does that...)

Now, commitment is another thing entirely. But there's a lot of confusion between commitment and love. There's a connection, certainly, but they're not the same thing.

 

[genintoronto]

I like the idea of "unreasonable limits". An interesting way to give your other partner some feeling of control over your other relationships.

On the topic of love, my experience is that there's always enough love to go around. It's time that is limited and that becomes an issue when trying to deal with mutliple relationships.

 

[snowleopard]

I believe love is boundless. Even romantic love and sexuality are far more limitless than we realize. Only our social taboos, and -- as Gen says -- time are limiting.

 

[dreamblade]

I like the idea of "unreasonable limits". An interesting way to give your other partner some feeling of control over your other relationships.

On the topic of love, my experience is that there's always enough love to go around. It's time that is limited and that becomes an issue when trying to deal with mutliple relationships.

True, but since the poly lifestyle emphasizes time management and negotiation, those become merely obstacles, not boundaries.

What many people fail to realise is that no relationship is set in stone. Renegotiation and communication becomes a "must have" instead of a "nice to have", as in monogamous pairings.

 

[genintoronto]

True, but since the poly lifestyle emphasizes time management and negotiation, those become merely obstacles, not boundaries.

What many people fail to realise is that no relationship is set in stone. Renegotiation and communication becomes a "must have" instead of a "nice to have", as in monogamous pairings.

I agree with you and most of what is being said in this article, re: time management and communication.

But time management can be a bitch.