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Could you trust again?

Can you trust someone again after they lie to you?

  • Yes

    Votes: 13 54.2%
  • No

    Votes: 8 33.3%
  • Trust? What the fark is that?

    Votes: 3 12.5%

  • Total voters
    24

papasmerf

New member
Oct 22, 2002
26,528
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42.55.65N 78.43.73W
please be more spacific
 

AznBikerBoi

Ducati 916
Sep 17, 2002
137
0
0
Depends on the lie.
 

CyberGoth

Veteran of the angel wars
Apr 18, 2002
1,263
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it depends on the situation, but generally....

trust is to be earned, and maintained mutually over time. it is fluid, dynamic.

actions speak far louder than mere words.

I have a very narrow and clear definition of what constitutes "trust". I could likely quantify it mathematically if asked.
 

xarir

Retired TERB Ass Slapper
Aug 20, 2001
3,763
1
36
Trolling the Deleted Threads Repository
I agree!

Trust is earned, not given away.

It does depend to a certain degree on the situation, but if a lie is discovered, trust can still be earned. However, that trust will be (much) more difficult to earn and generally will take longer. Time eases most pains after all.
 

zog

Friendly Arrogant Bastard
Dec 25, 2002
2,019
0
0
59
Downtown TO
Perhaps...

AznBikerBoi said:
Depends on the lie.
I agree. If she tells me I look good in my favourite jeans (trust me, I don't) I'd be willing to overcome my horror and anguish.

There should be some intermediate choices on this poll; I have abstained as a result.

Zog.
 

zog

Friendly Arrogant Bastard
Dec 25, 2002
2,019
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Downtown TO
I'm asking...

CyberGoth said:
I could likely quantify it mathematically if asked.
Oh! Please do!

Zog.

P.S. I'm serious, I'd like to see how it's done!
 

Don

Active member
Aug 23, 2001
6,287
10
38
Toronto
Do some people find it ironic that a question on trusting your partner is asked in a forum where in a previous poll 54% of the paticipants voted that they participate in this hobby secretly behind the back of their partner? :)

Anyway I voted Yes though it really depends on the situation and severity
 
Yes, it depends on the situation ...

If they lied to you because they wanted to protect you or for your own good, then its all good. Because sometimes, the truth hurts ...

Its like, your friend gets a new hair cut and asks you how it looks. You don't wanna say they look busted and that their new cut is fucking ugly. So you'd probably say its "alright" even though you think its ugly ... but you don't say it cause you don't wanna hurt their feelings ...

But yet, even from the simply example above ... it already encompasses two "questions".

1) "does it look good?" is a question in regards to aesthetics ...

2) and whether you answer "yes" or "no" is a result of a moral question, to lie or not to lie ...

3) choosing either "yes" or "no" maybe influenced by emotions and feelings over reason and objectiveness ...

So as you can see ... it really depends ...
 

CyberGoth

Veteran of the angel wars
Apr 18, 2002
1,263
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Re: I'm asking...

zog said:
Oh! Please do!

Zog.

P.S. I'm serious, I'd like to see how it's done!
ok, here's the essentials of it. [gimme a couple days and I'll submit a formal paper after having checked a few things]

trust, can be calculated as the likelyhood or probability that given a known set of stimulus/circumstance, an entity will react in a predictable manner. one calculates this by statistical analysis over time.

therefore, as an example.

when I submit an invoice to a particular client, because they have consistantly in the past payed me within a given amount of time. I can predict with a high level of certainty that they shall pay the next invoice as before.

ok, opaque example.

[originally i had this conversation over a period of three days with someone who was writing his PhD thesis in e-commerce in the early 90s.]

we analyse behaviour and probability against a known reference point. credit companies do something similar.

if we were to then implement a way to assess trust, from one entity to another entity. there would have to be a history that is documented and the results, positive/negative of each interaction analysed in terms of predictability/probability.

best thought in terms of a 4x4x4x4 matrix where x=previous-result y=consistancy z=probability t=time.

the trust level moves forward in time, and either up or down as a calculated probability level. [scale 0-99] Y is expressed as green/yellow/orange/red

its a little more complex to apply to humans. [how does one calculate or quantify "gut feelings" ??]

disclaimer: I've from time to time made trust assessments that turned out to be utterly and completely dead wrong. [everyone does that]

I'll post URLs to relevant papers if asked.
 

VespertineBloom

New member
Jun 12, 2003
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Toronto
www.the-blue-pages.com
It would depend entirely on the nature of the lie! To be honest, there are times when I can understand why in some situations I'm lied to as I would be tempted to do so as well were the situation reversed, even if ultimately I would choose not to. However, if its a matter of betraying the very foundations of our relationship or with the intent to hurt/misinform - that's another story. I don't think I could trust again.
 

CyberGoth

Veteran of the angel wars
Apr 18, 2002
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