Daty Desiderata!!

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Willywants

This thread really begs input from the ladies!!

Hypothesis!
I have a married friend who really is wanting to Daty with his wife!
She never says no to the suggestion, but makes it most distasteful to do so!
Now, here is a lady that works an abnormal number of hours, coming home exhausted. She has no immediate inclination to change out of her work clothes, or to have a relaxing soak in the tub! She quite readily zonks out on the couch shortly after arriving home! Come time for her to head for bed, some hours later, she divests herself of her pantyhose and panties, or her tight pants and panties and throws on the flannel!
She has just spent 10 to 12 hours, often more, in her tight clothes! Her job is mostly sedentary, so she has confined her womanhood, without room to breath, for a long period!
With sweat, natural secretions and perhaps traces of urine from trips to the washroom accumulating in her nether region, Daty, let alone intercourse, is not an appealing night time undertaking!
My friend's wife does not like showers and, according to him, only has a soaking bath once a week or so!
She does sponge bathe every day, but this, according to my friend, is not deep cleaning, so to speak!
He will often suggest that she have a nice soak in the tub, put on her favourite perfume and then join him for some "fun"! She giggles and agrees and he runs the bath! Two minutes into the soak, she falls asleep! An hour later he rousts her from the tub, but she has already fotgotten the suggestion originally made! Away she goes to bed and commences snoring within seconds!
So logically, my friend thinks, she's had a bath, we can pick this up in the morning! The wake up process is lengthy, the response is nil, so, no go!
I told my friend I had a great resource to draw on for some advice relative to the tender love and care of a woman's private parts that I may then pass on to him! He may then choose to pass it on to his wife!
Ladies! As active as you are in your jobs, what particular care do you take of yourselves so that gents like my friend, and me also, who really enjoy Daty, do not find the deed too aromatic or distasteful???
I was going to suggest that perhaps he should recommend a douche to his wife! But I understand that this can, over time, be harmful to the vaginal membranes and slow the production of natural lubricating secretions! I reckon this would depend on the solution used and strength of same!
I realize that this is very personal, but any advice you may give would probably help my friend immensely!
For some reason, I don't think my friend is alone in this dilemma!
Please help!

Willywants (to be as delicate as possible with this topic!)
 
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Willywants

Rub-a-Dub-Dub!!

Two don't work in his tub!
Something in your eye TIGER?? You keep winking!!! Lol!

He's been there, tried that, at my suggestion by the way!
Candles, music, bubbles, wine, you name it!
He gets relegated to the throne as an observer while he sucks back the wine, because his wife doesn't like anyone in the tub with her! She does allow him to wash her back but if he suggests anywhere else, or tries to move there, no go!
He has thought of just stripping down an jumplng in, but he's more delicate than that! Like this is her time, he doesn't want to be invasive!

Willy
 

Jenn_angel

Banned
Jan 27, 2002
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In Rome with the Pope
Um...

How about getting her to go swimming? I am not sure how else to help on this but if he got her in a pool at least she would be clean...
 
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Willywants

The Swimming Option and Arguments For A Larger Tub!!

Jenn!
Great!! A swim in Lake Ontario = a toxic dose of Daty!! Lol!
I'm sure he would prefer the scent and taste of chlorine! There is something antiseptic about that!

TIGER!
He does have a large jacuzzi tub! He even suggested a jacuzzi together and was turned down flat!
What to do?? What to do??
The SP option has been suggested! He's saving his money! I gave him a few names!

Willywants (to really help this man break down the barrier!)
 

zoickss

New member
Apr 20, 2002
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IMHO

I really think these two have some intimacy problems that they should work out with a professional counsellor. It really sounds like he is not speaking out his own perspective clearly and she is either taking advantage of that (even though it might be subconsiously) or just tired to listen or care. They definitely need to communicate better. It sounds like he has tried alot of different things discretely - its time for him to get to the point - She might not like to hear it at first but hopefully after she thinks about it she will see the other side - And I am sure he will hear another side too.
 

tboy

resident smartass
Aug 18, 2001
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way out in left field
I have a couple of questions:

Does she work every day?

Maybe being romantic is the last thing on her mind after her long hours but it certainly does sound like the old cliche that "she's in a marriage so the sex and romance went down hill a long time ago" and she just isn't interested.

Prefessional counselling does sound in order here as she sounds very restrictive with the "no partner in the tub, no showers, no jacuzzi rules".

Also, low sex drive could also be a result of hormonal imbalance etc so maybe there is a physical cause for her responses.

I will tell you this, every relationship I have had has resulted in a reduced sex life after the first couple of months so Tiger's suggestion on visiting an SP may be the only answer.

Hope this helps!
 
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Willywants

A Lot Of Things To Consider!

Kiarra!
My "friend" should have a woman like you as his wife!!
Open communication is there!
Desires for more intimacy have been expressed!
Detailed, romantic scenarios have been suggested and even tried without prior discussion!
Nothing attempted previously has been as pragmatic as "just cleaning up the desired dining table"!
Everything has been presented with varying degrees of erotic content, ie; total body massage, including feet, with warm, aromatic lotions!
Trying to entice with erotic talk about what he would like to do and the pleasurable result!
Yada, yada, yada!!!

One thing that he has also taken into consideration, is the fact that perhaps his lady is just burnt out, like too tired to really enjoy anything that may tax her body further!
He does not want to allow push come to shove! He knows that that will not solve the problem!
Perhaps counselling is in order! Perhaps medical intervention is in order!
All I know is, he is salivating all over the place because of an unquenched thirst and appetite!
Such a dilemma!!!

Willywants (could cry at this friend's situation!)
 
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Willywants

Agonizing!

Kiarra!
There is not anything that this man has not discussed with his wife! From a very open dialogue on her perspective of the male/female, husband/wife relationship, to stated preferences!
Apparently she has said that has no desire or need to experience an orgasm! This would drive any man crazy when that is a mans primary pursuit in a very intimate moment! At least it should be!
He has even asked if he should expect to go through the rest of his married life being denied this pleasure! Her unwitting answer was "no"! What kind of a ploy is that! Now he lives in a marriage on a wing and a prayer that, one day, maybe one day!!
It just seems to go on ad nauseum with no immediate resolution!
Think I'll suggest that he get everything prepared one night, bath, candles, bubbles, music, wine etc, and just grab her and blind fold her as she walks thru the door! Then slowly undress her and lead her gently thru the paces!
What do think???

Willy
 

tboy

resident smartass
Aug 18, 2001
15,969
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way out in left field
I *gasp* hate to say this but I disagree with Kiarra's suggestion that she is hiding something. Of course, she could be hiding a sexual relationship of her own, and just doesn't want it with him, but hey, there is a really gross way of finding out. (I will leave it up to your imaginations on how to do it).

I have read, here, on other sites, and in the paper, books, etc. about how women lose or never had a sex drive of any sort. Let alone a robust one. Many times it is conditioning from her childhood, personal preference and sometimes physical problems that go unaddressed.

This sounds like a case where she just doesn't want, or desire, to be sexually intimate with her man.

Unfortunately, my advice to him is either find another avenue for his sexual fulfillment, learn to live with "not getting any" or drag her ass to a therapist and try to get some counselling.

If all else fails then he has to decide whether he wants to stay in the relationship, or move on. SOmetimes, it is better to be alone, than in a situation that is making him unhappy or frustrated. A relationship like that will do more harm than good.
 
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