Dead man walking... Engagement Ring Question

[SupahotGavin]

The last couple of days I've been shopping for an engagement ring. I'm really struggling with the following issues, so if anyone has any advice it would be GREATLY appreciated because I have no one to confide in as I make this decision.

Issue #1: I don't like 'the look' of your basic diamond solitare... I'm considering getting an eternatity ring instead http://www.tiffany.ca/shopping/item.aspx?sku=GRP00307&mcat=148217&page=4&menu=0&cid=121324 as I think this would be different and unique. I also think the girl, who is non-traditional might appreciate it. The problem is what happens when all her bitchy girls say, "that's not an engagement ring"...bla, blah, blah... also what if I'm wrong and she really just want a regular engagment ring?

Issue #2: Where to buy?... I've gone to Spence, Birks, and Tiffany's and I feel as though I'm getting completely hosed. As I know they are making a small fortune off me. Do those places negotiate? or is it just the local-yokels that you can bargain down. I will be spending about $12k so any savings would be helpful. Anyone successful working a deal at these joints?

Any help from the terbnation is much appreciated.

SHG

 

[Mongrel4u]

Issue #1: I don't like 'the look' of your basic diamond solitare... I'm considering getting an eternatity ring instead http://www.tiffany.ca/shopping/item.aspx?sku=GRP00307&mcat=148217&page=4&menu=0&cid=121324 as I think this would be different and unique. I also think the girl, who is non-traditional might appreciate it. The problem is what happens when all her bitchy girls say, "that's not an engagement ring"...bla, blah, blah... also what if I'm wrong and she really just want a regular engagment ring?

Your opinion doesnt count for nada if its not what she likes. I advise you get an idea of what style she likes and just get it...

Issue #2: Where to buy?... I've gone to Spence, Birks, and Tiffany's and I feel as though I'm getting completely hosed. As I know they are making a small fortune off me. Do those places negotiate? or is it just the local-yokels that you can bargain down. I will be spending about $12k so any savings would be helpful. Anyone successful working a deal at these joints?

Any help from the terbnation is much appreciated.

SHG

do not.. I repeat..DO NOT buy from those places because you are right, they are hosing you. Dont forget diamonds are somewhat of a commodity. a high quality diamond from Tiffany's is no better than a diamond with the same specs elsewhere; only difference is the Tiffany diamond was marked up to make suckers out of us guys.
There are many many smaller jewelry shops in the city that will sell you the same diamond (with papers) for much much cheaper.

Oh... Tiffanys, Birks, Spence and those other rip off joints WONT bargain...the little guys..WILL and you'll get much more for your money

 

[alex52]

1. Play safe do the traditional thing, she will want to show off the ring to everyone.
2. Don't give her the impression your a cheapskate, it will be thrown in your face in the future. Take a hit in the wallet.

 

[whyte46]

you should find out what she wants first of all. And you can go to online sales sites such as blue nile to get some idea of price for a similar size and quality of ring

 

[lusciouslin33]

As far as pricing goes, it is much cheaper to buy a diamond wholesale and have it mounted in whatever she wants.
Pay attention to getting educated in regards to the four C"s..colour, cut, clarity and carat.
Also, Canada is n ow the third highest producer of diamonds so due to her uniqueness, maybe she'll appreciate something that came from our own country as opposed to a blood diamond from halfway across the world.

 

[bestillmehard]

Find out what she likes...she will be wearing it, not you....OH and one more thing......DONT DO IT!!!!!!...just kidding guy, congrats!

 

[Mongrel4u]

four C"s..colour, cut, clarity and colour.

I think you mean carat...

Things I would focus on...carat, colour and cut

DONT get caught up with clarity....you are paying for something that the human eye cannot detect and the clarity can really bump up the price.

I personally wouldnt go higher than S...the naked human eye cannot detect flaws at this level and above...have the jeweler examine and point out the flaw just so you know where it is

 

[plunker]

If you are looking at spending $12k, here is a serious suggestion. Hop on a plane to St Thomas or St Maarten. Buy the same ring down there for 1/3 the price. Stay the weekend so it doesn't look suspicious to the customs agent. Stash the diamond somewhere nobody would look (like in a tube of hemoroid cream). All total you will be spending about $4 - 5k for the same ring. And the selection is WAY better and they negotiate. Most stores have a gauranteed appraisal so if you bring it back and get it appraised, you have 30 days to go back and get a refund. I have found that their appraisals are pretty accurate because they do honour their gaurantees. If you bring your girl along for the trip, you could have a great time.

 

[RTRD]

My guidance...

...which you should ABSOLUTELY take with a grain of salt...

1) Do not even THINK about buying any ring other than something she will like. It is for HER, not you, and you will so, so , so, SO be in the doghouse if you buy something without her input that she does not like. I cannot emphasize this enough...resist the "movie" urge to surprise her, and go shop for the ring together. If you wanna surprise her, then buy a big fake rock for a couple hundred for the "proposal"...then explain later that it is a fake and you didn't want to spend 12K on something she might not like. Assuming she is a adult and not some silly 23 year old who doesn't understand being practical and prudent, she will both understand and appreciate it.

2) Yes, the name places overcharge...but you WILL get what you thought you were buying. I brought the first wife her ring from a "guy in the business"...when I went to trade up later (I always promised her that she would get more ring when I could afford it) for our 5 year wedding anniversary, my "high quality diamond" was suddenly "promotional quality". I was so pissed that didn't even get 2nd wife a diamond...I refused. She either was going to marry me for me, or we weren't going to marry, but I wasn't going to get ripped for several thousand dollars again. If you know someone who you TRUST TRUST TRUST...I guess you can take your chances. Or...if 12K just isn't a lot of money to you...

3) Don't know you...don't know how old you are, don't know where you are in life...but having been married twice and failed at both...you might want to SERIOUSLY give this thought. I am not against marriage...I am against marrying the wrong gal. And for my money, the right gal would have you so wrapped up and in love you wouldn't be HERE in the first place.

 

[netbull]

Good advice, MLAM. Shop with her will give you more insight into her financial sense as well, and may stop you from going through with it in the end. I'm pretty much against marriage these days. If you are committed, why bother with it. Have a big party instead. (sorry slightly off-track)

 

[xman]

Dude, you really should try to find out what she likes. When I used to work at my parents jewelry store many people didn't like the traditional solitare look including woman but once they put it on their finger, it was a different story.

I find it's different with engagement rings. I've heard women say the diamond looked too small but never that it looked boring. Like some of the other posters said, you're not the one wearing it.

Dude, for 12K I would consider checking out Tiffany or Birks especially if you don't know any jewellers or gemologist personally. Spence could be an inexpensive option but only if you are spending a fraction of 12k. They have some crappy diamonds there so you really have to know your diamonds.

It's about risk as well. If you don't know your diamonds(common person would not) & don't have a gemologist or jeweller friend then the safest bet is Tiffany then Birks. Any place you go you should ask for the specs of the diamond & ask to look at it under the scope then you can see the scratches, etc.

I'm not sure about Birks but I rem Tiffany only carrying like VS1 or VS2 diamonds. Something like that ...

 

[daboy]

bluenile.ca
end of story

 

[kooley]

bluenile.ca
end of story

i know people that have used these guys and were super happy.

 

[Sargeant StiffCock]

Forget everything anybody else suggested. Go to either 55 queen street east, 27 queen street east or 21 dundas square. these are the main ''jewellery buildings'' in Toronto. There are a bunch of diamond wholesalers in these buildings and most of them WILL deal with the public. Send me some of the prices you get quoted for different qualities and I will tell you if you're getting ripped-off or not.

 

[Mongrel4u]

why not get her a plastic ring from a gumball machine...this will be the test...if she freaks out, you dont want her. If shes cool and accepts your genuine intentions...then you can provide her with the real ring.

 

[SupahotGavin]

thanks all

all great suggestion and good advice thank you.

i going to go with the solitare (low risk), and shop around a little more (e-tailer, on-shore joints, etc.) as i’m learning more about diamonds. the more i think about it the more i think why i spending all this money on a piece of jewelery (stupid maybe)... i digress... damn the conventional norms ;(

 

[alex52]

the more i think about it the more i think why i spending all this money on a piece of jewelery (stupid maybe)... i digress... damn the conventional norms ;(

Men will never understand, your journey is just beginning, stay the course.