TIM: Follow! But! follow only if ye be men of valor, for the
entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel
that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of four fifty
men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt
your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits
you all with nasty big pointy teeth.
ARTHUR: What an eccentric performance.
Top
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Scene 21
[clop clop whinny]
???: They're nervous, sire.
ARTHUR: Then we'd best leave them here and carry on on foot.
Dis-mount!
TIM: Behold the cave of Caerbannog!
ARTHUR: Right! Keep me covered.
???: What with?
ARTHUR: Just keep me covered.
TIM: Too late!
[chord]
ARTHUR: What?
TIM: There he is!
ARTHUR: Where?
TIM: There!
ARTHUR: What, behind the rabbit?
TIM: It is the rabbit!
ARTHUR: You silly sod! You got us all worked up!
TIM: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul,
cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.
ROBIN: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
TIM: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's
a killer!
???: Get stuffed!
TIM: It'll do you a trick, mate!
???: Oh, yeah?
ROBIN: You manky Scot's git!
TIM: I'm warning you!
ROBIN: What's he do, nibble your bum?
TIM: He's got huge, sharp-- he can leap about-- look at the
bones!
ARTHUR: Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!
BORS: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin'
right up!
TIM: Look!
[squeak]
BORS: Aaaugh!
[chord]
ARTHUR: Jesus Christ!
TIM: I warned you!
ROBIN: I did it again!
TIM: I warned you! But did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew
it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't
it? Well, it's always the same, I always--
ARTHUR: Oh, shut up!
TIM: --But do they listen to me?--
ARTHUR: Right!
TIM: -Oh, no--
KNIGHTS: Charge!
[squeak squeak]
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh! etc.
KNIGHTS: Run away! Run away!
TIM: Haw haw haw. Haw haw haw. Haw haw.
ARTHUR: Right. How many did we lose?
???: Gawain.
???: Hector.
ARTHUR: And Boris. That's five.
GALAHAD: Three, sir.
ARTHUR: Three. Three. And we'd better not risk another frontal
assault, that rabbit's dynamite.
ROBIN: Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?
ARTHUR: Oh, shut up and go and change your armor.
GALAHAD: Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will
make a mistake.
