Funny Sports Stories

[onomatopoeia]

Yogi Berra, (a St Louis native son), was the pregame show guest on the Cardinals' radio broadcast, interviewed by Jack Buck. At the end of the segment, Jack handed Yogi a cheque for $25. made payable to the bearer. Yogi said "Jack, you've known me all these years, and you spell my name like that?".

 

[unassuming]

Howard Cosell to Bob Uecker: "You do know what "truculent "means don't you?"

Bob Uecker: "Sure, Howard. If you had a truck, and I borrowed it, it would be a truculent!"

 

[redshank]

THE MARVIN BARNES TIME MACHINE

Interesting look at Marvin ‘Bad News’ Barnes who had immense talent, but flamed out because of drugs and other trouble. At one point, it was hard to focus on basketball because he was making so much selling pot. Also this:

There is the legendary story about the Spirits getting ready to depart on a flight that left Louisville, Ky., at 8 p.m. and would get into St. Louis at 7:56 p.m. due to a time-zone change. Upon looking at the schedule, Barnes said, “I ain’t getting on no time machine,” and rented a car for the trip

 

[unassuming]

In an interview with Leaf's Tiger Williams, Dick Beddoes responded with "Why that's a colourful metaphor you used there!" to which Williams answered "Metaphor, what's that? a rock?"

 

[downbound123]

May 8th 1982, Bill "the Spaceman" Lee leaves the game and goes to a bar when he hears that his friend and team mate Rodney Scott has been released by the Expos.
The whole story from the Montreal Gazette.

Gazette's Aislin recalls his role in Bill Lee's final day with Expos

It was May 8, 1982, and the Expos were playing the Los Angeles Dodgers in front of 30,034 fans at Olympic Stadium.

montrealgazette.com

 

[unassuming]

Earl Weaver ( he was short in height) and his Baltimore Orioles were waiting at a bus terminal by a bank of public pay phones, when suddenly the shortest phone in height started ringing. No one paid attention to it, it kept on ringing. Suddenly, pitcher, Jim Palmer shouted "Hey Earl , the phone is for you!"

 

[bemeup]

The Mets players were on a bus on the way to the airport. Rickey Henderson was sitting near the back, which is usually where the rookies sit, while veteran players sit near the front. One of his teammates calls out to Rickey “hey Rickey, why are you sitting near the back, you’ve got tenure in this league?” To which Rickey replied: “ What you talking about tenure, I got 15 year in this league!”

 

[unassuming]

The Mets players were on a bus on the way to the airport. Rickey Henderson was sitting near the back, which is usually where the rookies sit, while veteran players sit near the front. One of his teammates calls out to Rickey “hey Rickey, why are you sitting near the back, you’ve got tenure in this league?” To which Rickey replied: “ What you talking about tenure, I got 15 year in this league!”

It happened before: When RH was a newly acquired Jay, he tried to sit at the front of the team bus, Dave Stewart denied him a seat and said something like "You gotta have tenure to be able to sit up front!" to which RH replied "I've got more than 10 years in!"


Also when he joined the Mets:

RH to John Olerud: "You know, I used to have a teammate years ago that also wore a batting helmet when playing in the field"

Olerud: "That was me!"

 

[onomatopoeia]

John Madden told this story on a Monday Night Football, and again on the January 30, 1982 episode of Saturday Night Live, (season 7, episode 10):

When he was the Raiders head coach, Madden saw Ted Hendricks combing his hair over the toilet. Ted accidentally dropped 35 cents in the toilet bowl.He stared at the coins for a couple of minutes, with a crazed look in his eyes,' like if the elevator didn't go all the way up to the top floor'. Hendricks then reached in his pants pocket, and pulled out a wad of bills. He took a $50 bill, crumpled it up, and threw it in the toilet bowl. Madden asked him why he did that, and Ted replied "You don't think I'm going in there for 35 cents, do you?".

 

[onomatopoeia]

This one is an urban legend, (I checked on baseball-reference dot com, and the facts don't add up):

In his major league debut, back-up catcher John Tamargo was clearly overmatched facing a Los Angeles Dodgers power pitcher. When Tamargo struck out, whiffing at a pitch that missed his bat by two feet, Vin Scully, in deadpan, allegedly said "Well, here today, John Tamargo.".

 

[onomatopoeia]

When he played for the Portland Trail Blazers, former Raptor Damon Stoudamire was arrested at the airport customs for possession of a controlled substance. The weed in his luggage, wrapped in aluminum foil, had set off the metal detector.

 

[onomatopoeia]

Colour commentator Russ Taylor on an early 70's Montreal Expos radio broadcast, (I heard this one): "...and he slides into second with a stand-up double.".

 

[unassuming]

Who was the baseball broadcaster that said something like: "The outfielder goes back for the flyball, he hits his head against the wall, it's rolling back to the infield!"

 

[downbound123]

I remember listening to a Monday night Expo baseball game from the Big Owe with Al Michaels and Howard Cosell. There was long fly to centre field and when the catch was made Cosell as he did very often, strayed from the sport he was covering. "And that folks is the spot where Alberto Juantorena left the field behind in the 800 m at the Montreal Olympics" He had covered the Olympics for ABC and was there to see it. You never knew what he would come up with but it made him one of the all time greats.

 

[downbound123]

Who was the baseball broadcaster that said something like: "The outfielder goes back for the flyball, he hits his head against the wall, it's rolling back to the infield!"

Sounds like something Dizzy Dean might have said

 

[bemeup]

Who was the baseball broadcaster that said something like: "The outfielder goes back for the flyball, he hits his head against the wall, it's rolling back to the infield!"

It was Ralph Kiner.

 

[unassuming]

Bobby Knight was so angry about how bad his team played that after taking a shit and wiping his ass he went back to the locker room and threw the shitty toilet paper on the floor to show how shitty they played.

 

[downbound123]

Bobby Knight was so angry about how bad his team played that after taking a shit and wiping his ass he went back to the locker room and threw the shitty toilet paper on the floor to show how shitty they played.

Nobody could throw a chair like Bobby Knight

 

[bemeup]

Sorry I can’t remember the sportswriter’s name, or who he was describing, but a San Francisco writer asked about one of the Giants shortstops, let’s call him Jones, “ What do Michael Jackson and Jones have in common? They both wear gloves on one hand for no discernible reason.”

 

[unassuming]

Larry Walker:

“You have to picture this,” says Bob Gebhard, the Expos farm director at the time who later lured Walker to Denver as GM of the Colorado Rockies. “Larry’s at first base. They put the hit-and-run on and he takes off for second. Meanwhile, the ball was hit into right field, a fly ball, and as Larry rounds second, the third-base coach is telling him, ‘Go back, go back, it’s a fly ball.’ So, he cut across behind the mound — he didn’t know he had to go back and retake second base — and then he slid into first base. The throw came in and he got into an argument with the umpire about being safe.”