Greetings all on this Site!
Over the years, I’ve gotten to know many of the various anonymous personalities and developed a respectful report with several members. When on the board, I try to be respectful and not condemn anyone. Of course, being human, I have treated some people with disgust regarding the way they refer to women in general or their certain attitudes. I’m definitely no saint, but I have tried to be “good”.
Hmmm, Good. Interesting word. As some of you have found out through this board, I was found out by my wife about my hobbying. She lay down the law and told me under no certain terms was I to have sex with her, I was to get a vasectomy, cancel any discreet email addresses and ‘adult oriented’ memberships.
Over the years, I have told my wife that I loved her, but in many cases how can a man truly love his wife, yet still hobby on the side? I have known all along that my hobbying is wrong. I never came to the realization of how much hurt I had caused until we had a heart to heart discussion. Up until this point, I had told her that I had canceled all subscriptions, but actually hadn’t.
We have just returned from a Christian (Catholic) retreat weekend with the intention of saving our marriage. I have known for a long time that there is a difference between a wedding and a marriage. A marriage of true love is something worth fighting for! It’s like the country song ‘Love isn’t something that we’re in, it’s Something that We Do’. It takes a lot of work and it will take a lot longer for me due to my addiction to sex. I’ve been so entranced and distracted by sex for such a long time, it became second nature to me to find a gal I found attractive and spend time and money on her. I’ve met some truly wonderful ladies, and several who are going through the motions to make ends meet.
Prior to being ‘found out’ I always felt empty. In as much as I had written glowing reviews of some ladies, I have discovered that those glowing reviews were because the particular SP was performing in ways I wished my wife would behave in her affection toward me. I do not consider the ladies I have seen as ‘whores’ or ‘sluts’, they are still human beings that should be treated with respect. However most of my sexual encounters with the SP’s I have met were normally looked at later mainly with regret. Mainly regret because I should have been stronger. My wife had ALWAYS been faithful to me. I know I am married to an angel.
Now I’m not ‘pushing my faith on you’, but over the weekend I have gotten my heart straight with God. In the Catholic faith, I had the opportunity to receive the sacrament of reconciliation, and I feel a lot better for it because my need was genuine.
I know, I know, yet another ‘Christian right-wing fanatic telling people that they are doing the wrong thing.’ I believe that there is no true judge out there other than our God in Heaven. I am not being judgmental on anyone on this board as I have been guilty of the same thing.
My point is that I’m tired of living a lie. I have a lot to do to gain the full trust of my wife, but it is worth the effort. To this day, I still remember with fondness several wonderful memories of my times with my bride. The day of our first time flying a plane together, the day I proposed to her, our wedding and first dance at that wedding (to Van Morrison), the time I learned of my wife’s pregnancy with our first of 3 beautiful children and the birth of my first-born.
I also remember fondly her devotion to me at my hardest times. The day I had surgery to remove a potentially cancerous lump, the day I lost my job and the anguish I felt about not holding up my part of providing for the family, the time she spent with me during my father’s funeral, and now her devotion to me on this past weekend. I know I am blessed to be married to such a strong and wonderful woman.
As a man I have cried several times. Much of those tears have been of sadness of how badly I treated my wife. But also the time most recently when she was willing to work with me, and we would be together as a strong, Christian couple for many years to come.
In order to stay true to my convictions, I must depart from all of you. There will be detractors saying ‘You’ll be back’ etc. Those people may be right, but I pray to Jesus that it will never happen. It’s time I took responsibility for my life and become the husband, father and friend that I should have been years ago.
I can’t say I will miss you. How can I? I don’t really know you.
Please have the decency to not detract my words. They are my feelings and my convictions. They come from the heart and it no longer matters what you say, because I know I love my wife and I want to be with her. She is my best friend. Some of you will even say that I’m being manipulated by her, only the opposite is true. I have been manipulated by my desires and sexual addictions for too long.
I don’t know how long this thread will stay up before being deleted on this board. If I have impacted anyone or made them think about their convictions, I have achieved my goal with this letter. If you want to change some things in your life, you HAVE to change some things in your life. If you seriously want to change your path, or even just enquire about it for your interest, I suggest you contact your church if you have one, or to find one that will accept you as you are and see you as what you can be. Otherwise, you can do an Internet search for ‘Marriage Encounter’ and go from there.
I wish all of you the best of success in your futures. I hope that with my new support system, I will never feel the urge to be back here again.
God Bless All of You!
Good Bye
Over the years, I’ve gotten to know many of the various anonymous personalities and developed a respectful report with several members. When on the board, I try to be respectful and not condemn anyone. Of course, being human, I have treated some people with disgust regarding the way they refer to women in general or their certain attitudes. I’m definitely no saint, but I have tried to be “good”.
Hmmm, Good. Interesting word. As some of you have found out through this board, I was found out by my wife about my hobbying. She lay down the law and told me under no certain terms was I to have sex with her, I was to get a vasectomy, cancel any discreet email addresses and ‘adult oriented’ memberships.
Over the years, I have told my wife that I loved her, but in many cases how can a man truly love his wife, yet still hobby on the side? I have known all along that my hobbying is wrong. I never came to the realization of how much hurt I had caused until we had a heart to heart discussion. Up until this point, I had told her that I had canceled all subscriptions, but actually hadn’t.
We have just returned from a Christian (Catholic) retreat weekend with the intention of saving our marriage. I have known for a long time that there is a difference between a wedding and a marriage. A marriage of true love is something worth fighting for! It’s like the country song ‘Love isn’t something that we’re in, it’s Something that We Do’. It takes a lot of work and it will take a lot longer for me due to my addiction to sex. I’ve been so entranced and distracted by sex for such a long time, it became second nature to me to find a gal I found attractive and spend time and money on her. I’ve met some truly wonderful ladies, and several who are going through the motions to make ends meet.
Prior to being ‘found out’ I always felt empty. In as much as I had written glowing reviews of some ladies, I have discovered that those glowing reviews were because the particular SP was performing in ways I wished my wife would behave in her affection toward me. I do not consider the ladies I have seen as ‘whores’ or ‘sluts’, they are still human beings that should be treated with respect. However most of my sexual encounters with the SP’s I have met were normally looked at later mainly with regret. Mainly regret because I should have been stronger. My wife had ALWAYS been faithful to me. I know I am married to an angel.
Now I’m not ‘pushing my faith on you’, but over the weekend I have gotten my heart straight with God. In the Catholic faith, I had the opportunity to receive the sacrament of reconciliation, and I feel a lot better for it because my need was genuine.
I know, I know, yet another ‘Christian right-wing fanatic telling people that they are doing the wrong thing.’ I believe that there is no true judge out there other than our God in Heaven. I am not being judgmental on anyone on this board as I have been guilty of the same thing.
My point is that I’m tired of living a lie. I have a lot to do to gain the full trust of my wife, but it is worth the effort. To this day, I still remember with fondness several wonderful memories of my times with my bride. The day of our first time flying a plane together, the day I proposed to her, our wedding and first dance at that wedding (to Van Morrison), the time I learned of my wife’s pregnancy with our first of 3 beautiful children and the birth of my first-born.
I also remember fondly her devotion to me at my hardest times. The day I had surgery to remove a potentially cancerous lump, the day I lost my job and the anguish I felt about not holding up my part of providing for the family, the time she spent with me during my father’s funeral, and now her devotion to me on this past weekend. I know I am blessed to be married to such a strong and wonderful woman.
As a man I have cried several times. Much of those tears have been of sadness of how badly I treated my wife. But also the time most recently when she was willing to work with me, and we would be together as a strong, Christian couple for many years to come.
In order to stay true to my convictions, I must depart from all of you. There will be detractors saying ‘You’ll be back’ etc. Those people may be right, but I pray to Jesus that it will never happen. It’s time I took responsibility for my life and become the husband, father and friend that I should have been years ago.
I can’t say I will miss you. How can I? I don’t really know you.
Please have the decency to not detract my words. They are my feelings and my convictions. They come from the heart and it no longer matters what you say, because I know I love my wife and I want to be with her. She is my best friend. Some of you will even say that I’m being manipulated by her, only the opposite is true. I have been manipulated by my desires and sexual addictions for too long.
I don’t know how long this thread will stay up before being deleted on this board. If I have impacted anyone or made them think about their convictions, I have achieved my goal with this letter. If you want to change some things in your life, you HAVE to change some things in your life. If you seriously want to change your path, or even just enquire about it for your interest, I suggest you contact your church if you have one, or to find one that will accept you as you are and see you as what you can be. Otherwise, you can do an Internet search for ‘Marriage Encounter’ and go from there.
I wish all of you the best of success in your futures. I hope that with my new support system, I will never feel the urge to be back here again.
God Bless All of You!
Good Bye
