Help me undress!

[midLifeCrisis]

I`m perplexed. Yes, call the papers and get on the `phone, midLifeCrisis needs help solving a puzzle. It comes from:

a must read for all hobbyists ..."john school"

Originally posted by syn, attributing Ripped
TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST. A man in socks and underpants is at his worst. Lose the socks first!

I had no idea this was such a major issue, but I`ve seen this comment made somewhere else on this board (but can`t find it) so I assume that it`s important.

But how should I undress? Let`s assume that I`m wearing a shirt, pants, underwear and socks. I`ll usually have started off with more (like slippers, vest, tie, jacket) but assume those have come off and we`re down to these four basic things.

We`ll also ignore, for the moment, the possibility that I`m wearing my Darth Vader costume - I have to pay extra for those sessions. And let`s not even discuss those times when I am resplendent in tutu, nipple tassles and thigh boots, because that outfit`s for extremely special occasions which cost me a fortune.

Anyway, at the start of a relatively normal call, my shirt`s tucked into my pants and my socks extend inside my pants` leg, so it seems to make sense to take the pants off first. Then the shirt, because that`s biggest. Leaving me with the dreaded socks/underpants combination. The advice above is to take of the socks first; that seems unnatural, but I`m willing to learn if that`s what the ladies want.

A poll is necessary for this very important issue! My vote goes for the order pants, shirt, socks, underwear but other opinions are always welcome.

 

[mr. x]

what about:

left sock, underwear, pants, shirt, right sock!

 

[PlayInNiagara]

Wears 'em on the outside, of course

 

[Yuri]

How about

Stinky socks...ripped pants....wrinkled shirt....smelly underwear....

 

[shack]

How would he get his underwear off before his pants were off?

I think Mr Bean can do it.

 

[mr. x]

How would he get his underwear off before his pants were off?

*Jenn shakes her head*

sheesh... that was meant as a joke!

 

[LLL]

How would he get his underwear off before his pants were off?

*Jenn shakes her head*

Now Jenn...tell me you can't take off a bra without taking of your shirt!!! LOL......

 

[DocOck]

shirt, kilt,dentures.......

 

[ToronToto]

Removing a single piece underwear (no side release) is impossible while your pants are still on. A bra is a different story.

It is impossible to create a Mobius strip out of a single sheet of paper unless one attaches the cut ends or it is manufactured in that manner. Nevertheless, I still like the Rowan Atkinson's skit.

 

[mr. x]

How would he get his underwear off before his pants were off?

*Jenn shakes her head*

i see no happy face there, jenn! the quote in asterisks is unconventional, and seemed to me like a serious comment.

okay, how do you take off underwear without taking of the pants...

one: lower the pants far enough to expose the underpants - then take a pair of scissors and cut the down sides of theunderpants. nothing says you cannot destroy the underpants - like cutting he proverbial gordian knot!

two: take off only one legs of the pants and underpants. put the pants leg back on, take off the other leg of the pants and underpants - put only the pants leg back on. technically, the pants have not been taken off totally, but the underpants have been removed!

three: get a massively big pair of pants - size 72 would do - like the pants david byrne wore with his "big suit" back in the talking heads days. with such big pants, you could pull of the "taking the bra off without taking the shirt off" trick bypulling the each leg up inside the pants, one at a time, and removing the underwear.

 

[mr. x]

Yes Jenn, Rowen Atkinson made the act of taking underwear off without removing his pants an art form. Now I told you to stop making fun of my cowboy hat and boots.

i never saw this episode - how did he do it?

 

[ToronToto]

Err...it is possible. I believed that removing underwear without removing pants was a topology issue (which it is), and it is possible. Try this (fairly loose pants and stretchy underwear while sitting):

* lower underwear inside your pants
* raise up one pant leg
* pull that side of the underwear down, this will be a bit of a stretch (with a wee bit of ouch)
* pants will start falling down a bit, but continue and remove underwear around that foot
* once that side is released, reach into crotch of pants and let the underwear fall through from other leg


See this link for a similar stunt that he performed http://www.rowanatkinson.org/leno1.htm

 

[Naughty Alex]

“Shirt, socks, pants, underwear” - only civilized way to do it. First you check out his shoulders and chest, then a little foot massage, removing the socks, before you go for the big gun and tear off those pants and underwear at the same time.