I joined a dating website recently. A girl contacted me. She didn’t have a picture in her profile. I figured she must be pretty hot, because she doesn’t want to be bothered by all the guys. She says if I give her an e-mail address she’ll send me a picture. She also gave me her phone number. I gave her an e-mail address. She sent me two different e-mails with pictures today, and both times gave me her number and wanted me to call her. She seems very sweet, and nice. The problem is that she’s Fugly, not a typo, that's Fugly with a capitol F. How I do I handle it without hurting her feelings?
Help Needed: A dating website dilemma
- Thread starter Tiny Titty Lover
- Start date
I feel you...
...though for the life of me I don't understand how you could have possibly thought the reason there was no picture was because "she didn't want to be bothered by all the guys". WTF would she be doing on a internet dating website then??
Ok...you were foolishly wishful thinking. Now you know better.
Insofar as what to do....I am curious to see what the females say, but remember...these ladies aren't "civilians"...I doubt if they see the general social "dance" of dating through exactly the same prism as your new "friend".
What would I do? Don't call. She knows you have the number. If she is level headed and mature she will get the message without there needing to be any more communication between the two of you. If she does write again asking why you did not call, simply reply with a soft but emotional less reply..."I am afraid you do not appear to be my type physically. I am sorry. Best of luck in meeting someone special". Again, that should be enough of a rebuff...without being mean...that she will get the hint and not want to foolish drag it out.
Now...why I feel you...when I had gotten divorced I did a bit of internet dating as well...not the "hook up" stuff I ended up mostly doing (where I actually wasn't super concerned about appearance so long as they weren't a total fatty...I was there for the booty, and if the package wasn't nicely gift wrapped I just didn't go back), but actually trying to find a SO.
Met this one woman...no picture, and because I was new at it I fell into exactly the same trap you did. We met at a resturant...FUGLY. What was "worse" though...because it was so ironic...her body was BANGING!!! She was in the miltary...she was about as fit as a woman could be without being "hard". Round, firm breast...sitting "way up high" as Dylan would say. Tight, round ass. Banging. But she was FUGLY....and while super nice, didn't have an ounce of feminity or sophistication about her.
Dinner was had. We were pleasant...civil...but I knew when I laid eyes on her this was going nowhere. I prayed like hell she would never email or call. This was years ago...I don't actually remember if she did...(I am thinking there might have been an email)....but I do not remember any crazy drama. She got the hint.
The bottomline is this: You don't have to feel sorry for anybody. We are all adults. Physical attraction (though not obsession with only the physical) is one of the criteria for adult dating. If she were a 9 versus a 3....she'd be turning down guys she didn't find attractive with no guilt. Trust.
Tiny Titty Lover said:I joined a dating website recently. A girl contacted me. She didn’t have a picture in her profile. I figured she must be pretty hot, because she doesn’t want to be bothered by all the guys. She says if I give her an e-mail address she’ll send me a picture. She also gave me her phone number. I gave her an e-mail address. She sent me two different e-mails with pictures today, and both times gave me her number and wanted me to call her. She seems very sweet, and nice. The problem is that she’s Fugly, not a typo, that's Fugly with a capitol F. How I do I handle it without hurting her feelings?
...though for the life of me I don't understand how you could have possibly thought the reason there was no picture was because "she didn't want to be bothered by all the guys". WTF would she be doing on a internet dating website then??
Ok...you were foolishly wishful thinking. Now you know better.
Insofar as what to do....I am curious to see what the females say, but remember...these ladies aren't "civilians"...I doubt if they see the general social "dance" of dating through exactly the same prism as your new "friend".
What would I do? Don't call. She knows you have the number. If she is level headed and mature she will get the message without there needing to be any more communication between the two of you. If she does write again asking why you did not call, simply reply with a soft but emotional less reply..."I am afraid you do not appear to be my type physically. I am sorry. Best of luck in meeting someone special". Again, that should be enough of a rebuff...without being mean...that she will get the hint and not want to foolish drag it out.
Now...why I feel you...when I had gotten divorced I did a bit of internet dating as well...not the "hook up" stuff I ended up mostly doing (where I actually wasn't super concerned about appearance so long as they weren't a total fatty...I was there for the booty, and if the package wasn't nicely gift wrapped I just didn't go back), but actually trying to find a SO.
Met this one woman...no picture, and because I was new at it I fell into exactly the same trap you did. We met at a resturant...FUGLY. What was "worse" though...because it was so ironic...her body was BANGING!!! She was in the miltary...she was about as fit as a woman could be without being "hard". Round, firm breast...sitting "way up high" as Dylan would say. Tight, round ass. Banging. But she was FUGLY....and while super nice, didn't have an ounce of feminity or sophistication about her.
Dinner was had. We were pleasant...civil...but I knew when I laid eyes on her this was going nowhere. I prayed like hell she would never email or call. This was years ago...I don't actually remember if she did...(I am thinking there might have been an email)....but I do not remember any crazy drama. She got the hint.
The bottomline is this: You don't have to feel sorry for anybody. We are all adults. Physical attraction (though not obsession with only the physical) is one of the criteria for adult dating. If she were a 9 versus a 3....she'd be turning down guys she didn't find attractive with no guilt. Trust.
Last edited:
fug her feelings,tell her to be real and stop playing games and wasting time.These people choose to misrepresent themselves,give them back what they have planted,false pretenses.Sheese this pisses me off can you tell,lol.Tiny Titty Lover said:I joined a dating website recently. A girl contacted me. She didn’t have a picture in her profile. I figured she must be pretty hot, because she doesn’t want to be bothered by all the guys. She says if I give her an e-mail address she’ll send me a picture. She also gave me her phone number. I gave her an e-mail address. She sent me two different e-mails with pictures today, and both times gave me her number and wanted me to call her. She seems very sweet, and nice. The problem is that she’s Fugly, not a typo, that's Fugly with a capitol F. How I do I handle it without hurting her feelings?
I don't think she actually misrepresented herself. She just didn't publish a picture of herself until she thought someone was interested.lickrolaine said:fug her feelings,tell her to be real and stop playing games and wasting time.These people choose to misrepresent themselves,give them back what they have planted,false pretenses.Sheese this pisses me off can you tell,lol.
As for what to do? Simple, tell her you don't feel the attraction, wish her well and move on.
re:dating site
First off, the fact she didn't post a picture would be a sign that she was fugly. Secondly, why are you worried about hurting her feelings? If you're not attracted to her, then you're not. That's the bottomline. Stop worrying about her feelings. It's war out there and you have to look out for yourself first.
First off, the fact she didn't post a picture would be a sign that she was fugly. Secondly, why are you worried about hurting her feelings? If you're not attracted to her, then you're not. That's the bottomline. Stop worrying about her feelings. It's war out there and you have to look out for yourself first.
Why are you making this so overly dramatic and complicated?
You'd think he was asking you to define the meaning of life. Two options:
1. Make up something like "sorry but I got back together with my ex-GF, best of luck in your search"
2. Simply STOP WRITING BACK!
Good Lord, you people could over analyze a fart.
You'd think he was asking you to define the meaning of life. Two options:
1. Make up something like "sorry but I got back together with my ex-GF, best of luck in your search"
2. Simply STOP WRITING BACK!
Good Lord, you people could over analyze a fart.
The same thing happened to me...
A girl messaged me and said she was interested, but she didn't have a pic. I asked her to send me one, and she wasn't my type at all. Instead of leading her on, I simply didn't reply after that. She must have gotten the message, since she took me off her favorites list.
A girl messaged me and said she was interested, but she didn't have a pic. I asked her to send me one, and she wasn't my type at all. Instead of leading her on, I simply didn't reply after that. She must have gotten the message, since she took me off her favorites list.
Sometimes the basic problem is...in her mind she is a hottie. And good for her. She may not post her picture as she would not get any replies based on looks alone. For that matter most guys wouldn't either! But a lot of men will find her attractive for more than her looks.
As another has said just tell her you are flattered by her response but at this time you aren't looking to commit to anyone, or your dead..or your wife caught you on the dating site..you'll figure out how to delicately handle this.
And do it delicately. This is another person looking for the same thing you are so there is no need to be cruel.
M2
As another has said just tell her you are flattered by her response but at this time you aren't looking to commit to anyone, or your dead..or your wife caught you on the dating site..you'll figure out how to delicately handle this.
And do it delicately. This is another person looking for the same thing you are so there is no need to be cruel.
M2
If you choose not to see her just stop corresponding with her at some point she will get the message.
But you could also look at it and say if there was any things that you had in common or found interesting about her why not give it a chance. No one says you have to marry her. What's the harm in dinner. But I do admit that I've never gone out with someone I'd consider fugly.
Anyways, just trying to give you something to think about other than just saying no. If not for this case perhaps somewhere down the line.
But you could also look at it and say if there was any things that you had in common or found interesting about her why not give it a chance. No one says you have to marry her. What's the harm in dinner. But I do admit that I've never gone out with someone I'd consider fugly.
Anyways, just trying to give you something to think about other than just saying no. If not for this case perhaps somewhere down the line.
Funny..MuffinMuncher said:Good Lord, you people could over analyze a fart.
What he said...
I would also add that if you continue to use the site (or any dating site for that matter), simply add the caveat that you kindly ask for a photo, or you won't reply.
Just don't contact her. She'll get the message, and I'm sure it won't be her first rejection, so she'll deal with it. Although I think it's kind of you to care about her feelings, don't worry too much about them. I'm not sure any woman, including her, would give your feelings a second thought, had they found you undesirable.
You my friend are a bloody immature, superficial, and hypocritical LOSER!Tiny Titty Lover said:I joined a dating website recently. A girl contacted me. She didn’t have a picture in her profile. I figured she must be pretty hot, because she doesn’t want to be bothered by all the guys. She says if I give her an e-mail address she’ll send me a picture. She also gave me her phone number. I gave her an e-mail address. She sent me two different e-mails with pictures today, and both times gave me her number and wanted me to call her. She seems very sweet, and nice. The problem is that she’s Fugly, not a typo, that's Fugly with a capitol F. How I do I handle it without hurting her feelings?
When you thought she was hot, you were ALL OVER HER, you thought she was funny, cool, hip, and sweet. Now she's just a FUGLY beeatch and you're tortured over what to do?? OH BOO HOO! Grow UP! If you're such a prize what the fug are you doin on dating sites? Keatle, here's the Pot, let me call you black!!
heh heh.. just joking.. DUDE, if you want drama, drama is what you're gonna get. Just tell her no thanks and move on to the next contestant! NO need to complicate life more than it already is...
- EC.
MLAM, I guess it goes unsaid that you did not come to attention when you saw her.MLAM said:...though for the life of me I don't understand how you could have possibly thought the reason there was no picture was because "she didn't want to be bothered by all the guys". WTF would she be doing on a internet dating website then??
Ok...you were foolishly wishful thinking. Now you know better.
Insofar as what to do....I am curious to see what the females say, but remember...these ladies aren't "civilians"...I doubt if they see the general social "dance" of dating through exactly the same prism as your new "friend".
What would I do? Don't call. She knows you have the number. If she is level headed and mature she will get the message without there needing to be any more communication between the two of you. If she does write again asking why you did not call, simply reply with a soft but emotional less reply..."I am afraid you do not appear to be my type physically. I am sorry. Best of luck in meeting someone special". Again, that should be enough of a rebuff...without being mean...that she will get the hint and not want to foolish drag it out.
Now...why I feel you...when I had gotten divorced I did a bit of internet dating as well...not the "hook up" stuff I ended up mostly doing (where I actually wasn't super concerned about appearance so long as they weren't a total fatty...I was there for the booty, and if the package was nicely gift wrapped I just didn't go back), but actually trying to find a SO.
Met this one woman...no picture, and because I was new at it I fell into exactly the same trap you did. We met at a resturant...FUGLY. What was "worse" though...because it was so ironic...her body was BANGING!!! She was in the miltary...she was about as fit as a woman could be without being "hard". Round, firm breast...sitting "way up high" as Dylan would say. Tight, round ass. Banging. But she was FUGLY....and while super nice, didn't have an ounce of feminity or sophistication about her.
Dinner was had. We were pleasant...civil...but I knew when I laid eyes on her this was gong nowhere. I prayed like hell she would never email or call. This was years ago...I don't actually remember if she did...(I am thinking there might have been an email)....but I do not remember any crazy drama. She got the hint.
The bottomline is this: You don't have to feel sorry for anybody. We are all adults. Physical attraction (though not obsession with only the physical) is one of the criteria for adult dating. If she were a 9 versus a 3....she'd be turning down guys she didn't find attractive with no guilt. Trust.
Thank you for the most intelligent suggestion.MarkII said:.
And do it delicately. This is another person looking for the same thing you are so there is no need to be cruel.
M2
do you a video link for your sig ?Blackheart said:tell her she's a hottie....just not your type. Enuff said
Maybe she is smoking hot, rich, and has friends who enjoy threesomes but she wants to test to see if you are a nice person first.
Just in case, you better go out with her and be really nice, in case the real girl is sitting at the next table listening.
Just in case, you better go out with her and be really nice, in case the real girl is sitting at the next table listening.
