hilarious joke

[billybobjoesue]

a guy walks into a bar looking for some bar food.
above the bar, he sees a sign that says:

cheese sandwich: $2
ham sandwich: $3
handjob: $10

He catches the attention of one of the girls working behind the bar and
asks,
"Are you the one who gives out the handjobs?", to which she replys, "Why
yes, I am!".

"ok", he says, "then wash your fucking hands, I want a cheese sandwich".

 

[David_peza]

Not bad, not bad.
It's brought a smile on my face.

David p.

 

[remyxo]

Speaking of bars...

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns to their adventures. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. "How did you end up with the peg leg?" he asks.
The pirate replies, "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

"Wow!" says the seaman. "What about your hook?"

"Well," answers the pirate, "we were boarding a ship when one of the enemy hacked off my hand."

"Incredible!" says the seaman. "How’d you get the eye patch?"

"A sea gull shit in my eye," the pirate replies.

"You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping?" the seaman asks.

"Well," says the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook."