I'm pissed off

[incognito]

Sorry folkes but i need to vent.

My car got broken into on sunday night and they stole some stuff (laptop computer, my protable cd player and a few cd's not to mention my knap sack) and thats not the worst of it. I call the cops and they arrived about 45 min later and after hearing what happened, he tells me that i just learned a painful lesson. But the way he said it, it was like it was my fault for the guy breaking into MY car and stealing my stuff. What an asshole. I'm the victim, if this happened to a cop, he would be all over it like flies on shit and spare no expense. I have always respected cops but after this, i have lost all respect for them. Cops are no different than the thugs like the ones in the mafia.

REALLY PISSED OFF,

incognito

 

[torex]

sorry incognito but it is your fault. never leave valuables in your vehicle. i learned that lesson years ago...believe me I know it sucks!

midlifecrisis might help us out with the link.I remember awhile back someone left their car running and ran into the store. while in the store the car was stolen I believe... or they were charged for leaving their car open, running and unattended.

 

[incognito]

Thats retarded. Thats like saying it's the girls fault for being raped because she wore a miniskirt.

 

[johnnyhandsome]

Incognito, where was your car parked when this happened??

 

[LeatherDoll]

And...

where were your belongings? Were they in the trunk or the cab, in plain view of anyone walking by? Was the car locked? It does seem like an awful lot of expensive technology to leave in your car.

Criminals find the smallest of vulnerabilities and capitalize on them (and there are more criminals in a difficult economic climate). I left my car unlocked accidentally about 2 months ago. Car got ransacked instantly. Stole my prescription glasses (someone tell me why?). The only other thing they got was a really nice first aid kit (it was leather, I think they thought it was a purse). They took everything and anything they thought they could hawk, including my screwdrivers. My car has been parked in the same spot for almost 10 years without incident. It doesn't take much to tempt a thief.

And, NO, it is NOT the same as suggesting that a woman is at fault if she gets raped. Rape is an extremely violent and invasive crime of power and control. The victim is irrelevant except to serve these needs in the perpetrator. Their ultimate effect is to imprison women because of their whims within our homes and from our streets and parks.

These guys just saw some money lying around and picked it up.

But, don't fool yourself. The cops treat women who get raped in exactly the same way, if not worse. I'm trying to figure out what you did to manage to get them to show up to your call at all, let alone in 45 minutes.

However, I am sorry that this happened to you. It sucks when you are made to feel vulnerable (without your consent). I hope you have insurance.

 

[johnnyhandsome]

I know of a girl I went to High school with who was raped by a guy who also gave her HIV, talk about a double whammy. She was completely devestated, of course. She also said that when she was interviewed at first by a male cop she got the impression he was somehow "getting off' on her story.

 

[Keebler Elf]

It's not your fault, but perhaps you could have mitigated your losses by not leaving valuables in your car.

As for the cop, what did you expect him to do - cry for you? I'm sure he sees it every day and it's just another report for him to fill out.

Blame the loser criminals. And remember, karma's a bitch...

 

[johnnyhandsome]

Karma is a bitch??? How come there are no reviews on this Karma woman??

 

[incognito]

car was in my driveway. Sorry about the rape analogy, that was uncalled for. i appologize. However, i didn't expect the cop to cry about it but i'm the victim. Have some freakin' sympathy. Like i said, if this happened to a cop, he'd be all over it. Cops don't care, they'd rather hand out tickets to people who smoke (now being enforced) than getting criminals. Too much being reactive, not enough being proactive.

Leatherdoll, that is my point. I feel violated (i know it's not the same as said topic and i appologize) and i would like to KILL, no, torture the fucker (sorry) before i bring him to the police. ( if he gets there at all.)

I don't need a stupid cop to tell me how stupid i am. I'm stupid for believing in the system where criminals have more rights than the victim, and i'm stupid for believing that cops make a difference. Cops, nothing more than legalized gansters.

 

[incognito]

Yeah, they took my change too. BTW, a neighbor a few houses down got robbed too the same night.

 

[kbluejayk]

My sympathies incognito, I'm sorry to hear of your loss.....and yes, the cop HAS seen it all before!!

A car parked in a private driveway with valuables therein in plain view is an obvious theft target....it happens to thousands of drivers every year! (despite the warnings!) There are thieves who go around day and night just looking for opportunities.....just like they go knocking on doors with some 'story'....when all they are looking for is a home that is unattended.....the result is another 'break-in' statistic!

As for the cop, I would not prejudge him to be 'stupid'!....maybe frustrated would be a better word! Most cops are doing a tough job in Toronto in very frustrating circumstances...bedeviled by some members of the public, second-guessed at every turn, laughed at by the criminals, treated to a revolving door system and drowning in paperwork!

As for your final paragraph......well, what can I say, you should know that ours is a LEGAL system, not a justice system...but thats another topic!

 

[LeatherDoll]

Three Things ...

First, thank you for recognizing the difference and the apology. You sure know how to make a Domina happy! Thank a higher power of some sort that you have been blessed not to know that feeling until now!

Second, this is not about Karma. Well, this is not about icongito's Karma. This speaks to the Karma of the thieves. It is pure victim blaming to suggest otherwise (although it is common enough). But, incognito, try not to allow yourself to get turned from your path to follow their negative energy or you will have been robbed twice. Personally, I survive each day through my faith in a "Karmic Debt Collector." I hand shit like this up to KDC to deal with so I can get on with my life and leave the oppressor's behind. (Its not really my job to exact consequences on others)

The difference is subtle but important: It is not true that everything happens for a reason. It is true that, if we are trying to lives with integrity, we will take reason from everything that happens. We find lessons in experience - in hindsight - not because we lacked something we needed, but because we need to find something that is lacking in the chaos (i.e., we try to find meaning in our lives to balance our lack of control.)

If you must grasp on to a cliché for comfort or understanding, try "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger (if you work it)" Funny how most people leave that last part out, huh?

It is hard not to blame yourself, but try and separate the blame. You are not responsible for the fact that there was a thief or that he took advantage of an opportunity. You might be responsible for allowing soo much to be readily accessible. That, however, does not mean you deserved to have your naivete exploited. You'll have to convince yourself about having needed to learn the lesson. (It's a bit circular - you wouldn't have needed the lesson without the thief!)

For example (since it might be easier to see with some distance), I didn't get an alarm system when my gut told me to. The consequences were severe and long lasting. Was it my fault? I fight with myself about it constantly. But, no matter what lack of fear or vulnerability I demonstrated, it was not "deserving" of the outcome. I could have lived my life quite happily without ever learning that particular lesson (specifics kept in my head). The former is victim blaming, the latter is survivor empowering.

Finally, LDB, once again, this analogy is NOT applicable to a rape scenario. IF rape had something to do with sex you might be right to suggest that manner of dress is related to likelihood of attack. BUT, it is not a crime of sex or passion. It is a crime of POWER and CONTROL. Rape shows no beauty, age, size, race, or socio-economic class preferences. Further, if proximity were the cause, then women must remain prisoners - although finding a safe place to do that might not be so easy. But, that, too, is another discussion.

 

[oldjones]

"…Cops, nothing more than legalized gansters." Got it in one. We just gotta hope they chose 'our' gang because they were smart and share our values—most of them.

Sorry about you loss incognito but your situation is a bit like the guy in the hospital with the seatbelt buckle scar on his ass instead of his belly. Thieves are way less likely to take what they can't see 'cause it's locked up. And that part is your job, as the officer so helpfully pointed out.

Before our Chief budgetted all those bucks for PR, there used to be cops assigned to visit pawnshops daily. Things have slipped since, but I've heard more than one story of a victim, armed with their serial numbers, profitting from a tour of Church St.

 

[Mr. Downtown]

If I were you I'd be banging my head on the wall for being so stupid in leaving valuable articles out in plain view to be stolen. Cops see this stuff daily and can only shack there heads. So don't blame them, you are just pissed at yourself. And its no wonder we are paying such high insurance premiums when, collectively, incidences like this could have been easily prevented.

 

[johnnyhandsome]

Another route to take is getting your windows tinted.

 

[oldjones]

Another route to take is getting your windows tinted.

And I knew a guy who glued fast food bags, parking tags and old newspapers to a blanket he could throw over just about anything he left on the seat. Trunk's safer, if you've got one.

 

[begruff]

I read some of the responses, incognito, and I don't see how being robbed has anything to do with woman's issues. I personally agree with your analogy of a woman in a mini-skirt becoming a rape target. It shows how ignorant some of our society, and unfortunately for you, you had the unlucky chance of encountering an ignorant and insensitive cop. I think you owe no appologies for your example.

By the way, I am a woman.

 

[johnnyhandsome]

And I knew a guy who glued fast food bags, parking tags and old newspapers to a blanket he could throw over just about anything he left on the seat. Trunk's safer, if you've got one.

Thats pretty smart, you've given me a great idea.

 

[Mr. K]

incognito, I definitely sympathize with you. I know that what you were feeling was some kind of violation. You did nothing wrong, and whether you locked your car or not, you should have felt that your property was safe. Reality being what it is, I guess the next time you'll a. lock them in the trunk; and b. lock the car. Even in your driveway.

WRT the comment someone made about going into the store and leaving your vehicle running with the doors unlocked, well if you do something like that, you deserve to have it stolen, just so you learn a valuable lesson. I do the standard "go out and start the car in the morning and leave it running in my driveway" but I have two sets of keys and the remote on my key chain. I lock the car with the remote and unlock when I'm ready to enter. Same with the store. Done this 100s of times, never had a problem.

 

[incognito]

Mr. downtown... do you talk on the cell phone while driving your car?