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Man ruins day for two people
- Thread starter stinkynuts
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He didn't need to lecture them..but it was his right to keep his seat.
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Perfectly fine to not switch seats, but he was a dick about it.
He reminds me of my abusive ex with the same dickhead attitude. It is the smugness of it all.
I remember a time we were at a Service Ontario office. Everyone who was waiting was talking about how long it was taking. Just brief chit chat. A few minutes after everyone stopped talking a woman spoke up about the staff just chatting and not opening a ticket window. Very rudely, my ex says “ you know you don’t have to be here. You can renew your license online” which was true but he didn’t need to be a dick about it. I was so embarrassed by his behaviour. It changed the whole tone of the room, everyone just shut up. No idle chitchat anymore. He just did it to be a dick. He felt she was being self righteous or something and felt it was his duty to “put her in her place”.
I still can’t believe how long I stayed with him.
The answer to that is most likely the fear of change and letting go, no matter how bad the situation is. Same reason why people who live in shitty conditions don't just leave and live in a nice house. It's not easy. They've gotten used to the shitty situation, much like one gets used to foul odors and no longer is affected by it as much. They just live day after day, without a plan to move on. They don't realize how bad it is, but to an outsider its obvious how bad it is, as everything is relative. We may see our lives as normal, but to a very wealthy person we may be living as peasants, and they may be asking why we work such shitty jobs and don't just leave.
Many women can't because they don't have the means to "upgrade". They don't have the education, skills, money, or looks to find a better job, boyfriend, or move to a nicer house. They lack the self-esteem and don't feel worthy of nice things, and so for their entire lives they never will. It all begins with what someone thinks they deserve. If they feel like they are worthless, then if their boyfriend treats them like shit, they may feel they deserve it.
Oftentimes, those who are in abusive relationships grew up in abusve households. People like familarity, even if its abusive. That's why a person who was brought up poor and in a chaotic, abusive family may feel uncomfortable and out of place when they visit their boyfriend's family who is loving, caring, and free of conflict. It's not normal and familiar to them.
It takes courage to move on to better things. The fear of being plunged into a new situation holds back many. There is the hope that things will get better with the abusive boyfriend, and that hope outweighs the fear of moving on to something that can be even worse.
chatgpt has a good answer:
why do women stay in abusive relationships?
Women, as well as people of all genders, may stay in abusive relationships for a variety of complex and interconnected reasons. It's important to note that every individual's situation is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. However, some common factors that can contribute to someone staying in an abusive relationship include:
why do women stay in abusive relationships?
Women, as well as people of all genders, may stay in abusive relationships for a variety of complex and interconnected reasons. It's important to note that every individual's situation is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. However, some common factors that can contribute to someone staying in an abusive relationship include:
- Fear: Abusers often use threats, intimidation, and physical violence to instill fear in their victims. This fear can make it difficult for the victim to leave the relationship, as they may be afraid of what the abuser will do if they attempt to leave.
- Isolation: Abusers often isolate their victims from friends and family, making it harder for them to seek help or find support outside of the abusive relationship.
- Financial Dependence: Many victims of abuse are financially dependent on their abusers. They may not have the means to support themselves and their children if they leave the relationship.
- Emotional Attachment: Despite the abuse, some victims may still have strong emotional attachments to their abusers. They may hope that the abuser will change or that the abusive behavior is just a temporary phase.
- Low Self-Esteem: Abusers often engage in tactics that erode their victim's self-esteem and self-worth, making them feel as though they deserve the abuse or that they won't be able to find a better relationship.
- Cultural or Religious Beliefs: Cultural or religious beliefs and values can sometimes play a role in why individuals stay in abusive relationships. They may feel pressure to uphold certain societal norms or fear backlash from their community if they leave.
- Lack of Information and Resources: Some individuals may not be aware of the resources available to them, such as domestic violence shelters, legal assistance, or counseling services. They may also lack the information about how to safely leave an abusive relationship.
- Hope for Change: Some victims of abuse hold onto the hope that their abuser will change, especially if the abuser promises to seek help or shows remorse after an incident of abuse.
- Children: Concerns about the impact of leaving on their children, including the potential for retaliation from the abuser, can keep victims in abusive relationships.
- Cycle of Abuse: Abusive relationships often follow a cycle of tension building, abuse, and reconciliation. Victims may stay because they believe the periods of calm and affection between episodes of abuse are indicative of love or progress.
Although I don't know your situation, I strongly suspect he was emotionally abusve to erode your self-esteem. This tactic is used to keep you from leaving him, as it makes you feel worthless and that you deserve to be treated poorly. Once your self-esteem is eroded, it will take time to get it back, but the key is to not go back into that cycle. Yet many women keep up repeating the cycle over and over again unfortunately.
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Wow, that's crazy. No one in their right mind would give up an aisle seat for a middle seat. It's the worst exchange. I love the extra space next to me in the aisle, makes me feel less constrained. And I can get up to go to the bathroom whenever I want, without worrying about bothering the person next to me. Also, getting off the plane is easier and faster.Yup. Man Indian people do this a lot when I fly Air India, to India. LMFAO. They will politely request that I sacrifice my aisle seat and take the middle seat in the middle row. No thanks!
Or that one kid in the far corner, who wants to open one window, letting bright light into a dark plane, when it is 40,000ft in the air!
I was in a cycle of abuse and can now even identify the moment and circumstances it happened under. I was the primary caregiver of my mother until her death. About 18 months. It was rough.
We were at the beginning of the relationship and I told him that we should break it off until after my mother passed because I just couldn’t dedicate the time and attention and I didn’t want to deal with a break up at the same time as her actual death. He reassured me it was all good. 3 days after my mothers death, he broke up with me because the girl he was cheating on me with , he was starting to really like her and he didn’t want to jeopardize what he was building with her by continuing with me.
Being in such an emotional vulnerable state with everything else mother related, I was just crushed. Then a week later, he wants to reconcile, the love bombing started and there you have it, in the cycle from here. It took 12 years, some serious counseling and major abusive trauma to finally leave.
No one understood, even myself, why I stayed. There was none of the other reasons you listed. I had no dependencies on him, nothing and yet every time I tried to leave, I couldn’t. We even lived in my house! It is insane looking back.
Sorry to hear that. At least you eventually left him, and hopefully have moved on.
