masturbation songs

[jost]

OK we already got a thread goin on hooker songs. But let's not forget the odes to the more solitary pursuits:

Divinyls - I Touch Myself
The Who - Pictures of Lily, How do you do it Alone?
Billy Idol - Dancing with Myself

any others?

 

[ottawasub]

OK we already got a thread goin on hooker songs. But let's not forget the odes to the more solitary pursuits:

Divinyls - I Touch Myself
The Who - Pictures of Lily, How do you do it Alone?
Billy Idol - Dancing with Myself

any others?

Tori Amos - Icicle ( stunningly beautiful piano work)
Jackson Browne - Rosie
Cyndi Lauper - She Bop (how many stations played it not knowing the topic?)
Prince - Darling Nikki
Robert Plant - Dancing on my Own?? ( not sure about the actual title)

 

[Svend]

They even had a dance for it, the Jerk.

Cool Jerk - the Capitols in 1966

Cool jerk, cool jerk, cool jerk, cool jerk
We know a cat who can really do the cool jerk
We know a cat who can really do the cool jerk
This cat they're talking about
I wonder who could it be
'Cause I know I'm the heaviest cat
The heaviest cat you ever did see
When you see me walking down the street
And they clapping and they speak
All the business they wish to whisper it
But they know I'm the king of the cool jerks
Cool jerk, cool jerk, cool jerk, cool jerk
Ah ha ha

SPOKEN:

Look at them guys looking at me like I'm a fool
Ah but deep down inside they know I'm cool
I said now,
I said now the moment of truth has finally come
When I'm gonna show you some, some of that cool jerk
Now give me a little bit of the drums by himself here
Now give me a little bit of bass with those eighty-eights
Ah you're cookin, mmmmmm you're smokin
Now everybody, I wanna hear you ah-h-h-h-hh
Can you do it can you do it
Can you do it can you do it
Can you do it can you do it
Cool jerk, come on people, cool jerk
When you see me walkin down the street
Then you think twice and then the next beat
On the chance that they don't make it work
Cause they know I'm the king of the cool jerk
Cool jerk, cool jerk
Come on people can you do it
Can you do it, can you do it
Can you do it, can you do it
Can you do it, can you do it
Can you do it, can you do it
Can you do it, can you do it

 

[calloway]

Eric Carmen - "All By Myself"

When I was young
I never needed anyone
And making love was just for fun
Those days are gone
Livin' alone
I think of all the friends I've known
When I dial the telephone
Nobody's home

All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore

 

[lasslicker]

Just by the titles...

My Ding-a-ling by Chuck Berry
Beat it by Michael Jackson
Hand in my Poket by Alanis Morrisette
Whip It by Devo

 

[shack]

Get A Grip--Semisonic

Lonely boys and you lonely girls
Here at the end of the lonely world
You're finding out
If there's someone to cry about

Lonely girls and you lonely boys
Playing alone with your lonely toys
Well don't be blue
'Cause there's noone to play with you

CHORUS
Get a grip on yourself, you know you should
I got a grip on myself and it feels good
Get a grip on yourself, take my advice
I got a grip on myself and it feels nice

When the lights come on and the party's through
There are always a few with nobody to do
Well now don't despair
You'll eventually get there

And meanwhile all of you lonely ones
Here's what to do while you wait for the sun
To rise above
The loneliest kind of love

CHORUS

 

[jost]

Svend,

I'm not sure about Cool Jerk. How can you really be sure what it's about. Now if it was called Circle Jerk, we would know for sure...

 

[jost]

Britney Spears - Touch of My Hand
Billy Squier - The Stroke
Elvis Costello - Pump it Up

 

[lasslicker]

Zz Top

WOKE UP WITH WOOD

When I woke up this morning
I was feeling mighty good
My baby inderstood had to do what she should
Lying near a pile of wood.
Laying it on some.
Playing with it some
When I woke up with wood.

 

[big dogie]

Turning Japanese

 

[Entropy]

Blister in the Sun - Violent Femmes

Orgasm Addict - Buzzcocks

All By Myself - Green Day

 

[poorboy]

Relax by Frankie goes to Hollywood?

 

[Truncador]

Who could forget certain verses from Frank Zappa's Disco Boy:

Disco Boy!
Run to the toilet boy,
'N comb your hair

Disco Boy!
Shake it more than three times 'n yer playin' with it
(WOW!)
While yer standin' there!
(Well . . . )

[...]

Disco Boy!
They're closin' the bar,
And she's leavin' with your friend!

Disco Boy,
That's the way it goes,
So wipe your nose,
'N try it again,
To get a little laid tomorrow!

Disco Boy,
No one understands,
But thank THE LORD
That you still got hands
To help you do that jerkin' that'll
Blot out yer Disco Sorrow!

It's Disco Love tonight
Make sure you look all right
It's Disco Love tonight
Make sure you look all right

 

[Cinema Face]

Captain Jack by Billy Joel

Your sister's gone out, she's on a date,
But you stay home and masterbate

But Captain Jack will get you high tonite,
and take you to your special island.
Captain Jack will get you by tonite,
just a little push and you'll be smiling.

 

[homonger]

Rats! All of the good ones have already been mentioned.


Um... 'Undercover Angel' by Alan O'Day?

 

[James Bong]

I'm Easy - The Commodores




.

 

[gibsomstreet]

Well, there's "Willie & The Hand Jive".

Also, in super-80s-retro mode, A Flock Of Seagulls' "Wishing".

 

[WhaWhaWha]

(wang chung / peter wolf)

I’d drive a million miles
To be with you tonight
So if you’re feeling low
Turn up your radio
The words we use are strong
They make reality
But now the music’s on
Oh baby dance with me

Rip it up - move down
Rip it up - move it down to the ground
Rip it up - cool down
Rip it up - and get the feeling not the word

Chorus:
Oh everybody have fun tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody wang chung tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody wang chung tonight
Everybody have fun

Deep in the world tonight
Our hearts beat safe and sound
I’ll hold you so close
Just let yourself go down

Rip it up - move down
Rip it up - move it down to the ground
Rip it up - cool down
Rip it up - get the feeling not the word

Repeat chorus

On the edge of oblivion
All the world is babylon
And all the love and everyone
A ship of fools sailing on

Across the nation, around the world
Everybody have fun tonight
A celebration so spread the word

 

[a 1 player]

Alice Cooper - Muscle of love


Aw, who's the queen of the locker room
Who's the cream of the crop
Poor Joey took her to the matinee
Said, "God, she wouldn't stop!"

Holy muscle of love
My heart's a muscle

Well, I must have come to that crazy age
Where ev'rything is hot
'Cause I don't know if the things I'm thinking
Are normal thoughts or not

Holy muscle of love
Well, I got a muscle of love
Yeah
Ooh

I read Dad's books like I did before
Now things are crystal clear
Lock the door in the bathroom now
I just can't get caught in here

Holy muscle of love
Well, I got a muscle of love
Holy muscle of love
I got a muscle of love
Holy muscle of love
My heart's a muscle of love
Holy muscle of love
Well, I got a muscle of love
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Must be a gift from above
Yeah, yeah, yeah

 

[shack]

Not that I know all of the songs but it seems to me that a lot of them have very little to do with actual masturbation. Most of them refer to the male member and horniness but not necessarily spanking the monkey.