Some of the discussion on a very recent thread, "holy shit! the sw stories are true!" (https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=44961) reminded me of something I wanted to bring up. In particular, funforblueballs` comment got me thinking:
>Ottawajohn, if you choose to exploit this poor girl, you are a
>major part of the problem. Those of you who have intentionally
>sought her out are as troubled as she is. There is a big, big
>difference between exploiting a girl addicted to drugs and
>hiring a lady who with a sane, clear head have chosen to be a
>SP. DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, EXPLOIT THIS GIRL!!
This particular SW that was being discussed is certainly "messed up", as I suppose many SWs are (in her case, it`s drugs). I`m not trying to be disrespectful by calling many of these ladies "messed up". And in no way do I want to suggest that the majority of SPs are either. But I do think some are fucked up in one way or another. Certainly society in general thinks so.
Maybe the reason I want to use this characterization is that I also consider myself fucked up, in many different ways. I certainly think I`m fucked up sexually/socially, basically unable to have any "normal" sexual or romantic relationships, at least to date (I`m single, 41, and have only slept a few times with one woman in my life, and that was 10 years ago). My body and mind desperately needs some intimacy with human beings. Because of my negative self-perception, I have now concluded that I`m "too messed up" to ever get that intimacy in a normal way. I give up with the dating scene (I give up on myself).
So I am now turning my thoughts to SPs. I`m thinking that our society has kind of set things up for messed up guys like me and messed up women like some SPs/SWs/SCs to get together to satisfy their respective (albeit different) needs. I suppose I`m not really talking about the class of hobbyists that are married and just not getting enough at home. And I`m not talking about the classy SPs that are members of TERB. I just have it in my head that fucked up me and fucked up SP can help each other a little bit. Am I wrong in feeling this? And am I in a really tiny minority, or are there lots of hobbyists like me?
Which brings me back to funforblueballs and others` comments regarding the hobbyist`s responsibility. I`m not suggesting that exploitation of a vulnerable SP by a dominant hobbyist is okay. On the contrary, we always have to be considerate of others. But I don`t think if fucked up me seeks out fucked up SW/SP is necessarily exploitation. And I`m not even sure that I will necessarily seek out an SP who is a little more on the messed up side. But there`s a chance I might--maybe because misery likes company. Two messed up people have something in common, and that can possibly be a little intimate. Yeah, I know, I need a shrink--I hear you. But I need to get laid too.
So, yeah, I, future hobbyist, am part of the problem. But I`m not causing the problem. I have no intention of exploiting anyone, which is an argument that many of those that oppose this industry bring up. It just doesn`t make any sense to me that anyone would be morally outraged at what I`m seeking in this hobby--just a little fucked up companionship.
This is all still in the abstract for me, since I still haven`t met with an SP (I`m broke right now). So please forgive me if I don`t know what I`m talking about. And I apologize to all those that I`ve offended.
Alex
>Ottawajohn, if you choose to exploit this poor girl, you are a
>major part of the problem. Those of you who have intentionally
>sought her out are as troubled as she is. There is a big, big
>difference between exploiting a girl addicted to drugs and
>hiring a lady who with a sane, clear head have chosen to be a
>SP. DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, EXPLOIT THIS GIRL!!
This particular SW that was being discussed is certainly "messed up", as I suppose many SWs are (in her case, it`s drugs). I`m not trying to be disrespectful by calling many of these ladies "messed up". And in no way do I want to suggest that the majority of SPs are either. But I do think some are fucked up in one way or another. Certainly society in general thinks so.
Maybe the reason I want to use this characterization is that I also consider myself fucked up, in many different ways. I certainly think I`m fucked up sexually/socially, basically unable to have any "normal" sexual or romantic relationships, at least to date (I`m single, 41, and have only slept a few times with one woman in my life, and that was 10 years ago). My body and mind desperately needs some intimacy with human beings. Because of my negative self-perception, I have now concluded that I`m "too messed up" to ever get that intimacy in a normal way. I give up with the dating scene (I give up on myself).
So I am now turning my thoughts to SPs. I`m thinking that our society has kind of set things up for messed up guys like me and messed up women like some SPs/SWs/SCs to get together to satisfy their respective (albeit different) needs. I suppose I`m not really talking about the class of hobbyists that are married and just not getting enough at home. And I`m not talking about the classy SPs that are members of TERB. I just have it in my head that fucked up me and fucked up SP can help each other a little bit. Am I wrong in feeling this? And am I in a really tiny minority, or are there lots of hobbyists like me?
Which brings me back to funforblueballs and others` comments regarding the hobbyist`s responsibility. I`m not suggesting that exploitation of a vulnerable SP by a dominant hobbyist is okay. On the contrary, we always have to be considerate of others. But I don`t think if fucked up me seeks out fucked up SW/SP is necessarily exploitation. And I`m not even sure that I will necessarily seek out an SP who is a little more on the messed up side. But there`s a chance I might--maybe because misery likes company. Two messed up people have something in common, and that can possibly be a little intimate. Yeah, I know, I need a shrink--I hear you. But I need to get laid too.
So, yeah, I, future hobbyist, am part of the problem. But I`m not causing the problem. I have no intention of exploiting anyone, which is an argument that many of those that oppose this industry bring up. It just doesn`t make any sense to me that anyone would be morally outraged at what I`m seeking in this hobby--just a little fucked up companionship.
This is all still in the abstract for me, since I still haven`t met with an SP (I`m broke right now). So please forgive me if I don`t know what I`m talking about. And I apologize to all those that I`ve offended.
Alex
