I have a curious question for the ladies of this forum. With the amount of men you meet in this industry, do you ever meet a guy and think to your self that this guy is some one you could fall in love with? Or better yet KNOW he's the one for me, HE'S IT? Obviously with the professions you are in, you keep your emotions in check, but does it ever cross your mind that this guy that has just walked through your door is the guy I want? What do you do about it, if anything at all. I guess what I'm asking is; do you pass up the opportunity of so-called love?
Question to SPs, Message Girls, & Dancers
- Thread starter BrianK
- Start date
I try to keep everything a customer/dancer relationship... i've had a few customers who have turned into great friends... and i've had some i've become attracted to... but I try not to let anything go beyond friends because the fact is meeting someone this way they will always see me as a stripper first, person second. Plus how do I know the person isnt just tryin to hook up with me so they can brag they're banging a stripper... bleh...
I did meet one guy though who I was VERY tempted to date because we just clicked so well but I just couldnt get past the 'what if'. Yea im scared shitless of being hurt.
I did meet one guy though who I was VERY tempted to date because we just clicked so well but I just couldnt get past the 'what if'. Yea im scared shitless of being hurt.
You're human, you have feelings also.....just because you dance doesn't mean you don't have them.Amara said:
There is a work mode and a personal life mode. you can mix find a husband or boyfriend at work just makes thing complicated since they are usually paying you on your first visit. right there makes it weird.
I have come across guys who I thought were cute or even some sexy and I just quickly remind myself but they are paying for a service.
When I was a dancer I have had a one night stand with guy he wanted more and I wanted him out of my face.
There is just something that don't mix. who knows with this whole porn video thing I do come across more guys there that I wonder how could I date them, but then I get the reminder its long distance they want me to move to LA and I am back in check how it will never work.
Since this is the industry is about fantasy ... once you bring it into reality everything is not soo much fun and glitter anymore.
I have come across guys who I thought were cute or even some sexy and I just quickly remind myself but they are paying for a service.
When I was a dancer I have had a one night stand with guy he wanted more and I wanted him out of my face.
There is just something that don't mix. who knows with this whole porn video thing I do come across more guys there that I wonder how could I date them, but then I get the reminder its long distance they want me to move to LA and I am back in check how it will never work.
Since this is the industry is about fantasy ... once you bring it into reality everything is not soo much fun and glitter anymore.
Its happened to me before ,, but i got out of the mind thought when it hit me that
1. he would never be able to deal with what i did
2. that he could be with other women ... as thats how WE met
but ...... i guess never say never
1. he would never be able to deal with what i did
2. that he could be with other women ... as thats how WE met
but ...... i guess never say never
One in the adult industries have to keep fantasy and reality seperate.
It's hard when mr comfortable or miss comfortable comes along ( trust me its one in a thousand hehhe) ... but when and if it does and when the fanasty becomes more and more faint and reality fully sets in, you will soon realize in heart, mind and from that little voice inside yourself, you made a huge mistake.
Takes a certain type of man who would commit himself emotionally and physically to a " Working Girl," and I believe a male type like that is not easily definded.
We meet to forget each others past, so we can build a future worth remembering. Or at least that is my philosophy.
Anyway, just had the impulse to write.
Susan aka materialgirl
It's hard when mr comfortable or miss comfortable comes along ( trust me its one in a thousand hehhe) ... but when and if it does and when the fanasty becomes more and more faint and reality fully sets in, you will soon realize in heart, mind and from that little voice inside yourself, you made a huge mistake.
Takes a certain type of man who would commit himself emotionally and physically to a " Working Girl," and I believe a male type like that is not easily definded.
We meet to forget each others past, so we can build a future worth remembering. Or at least that is my philosophy.
Anyway, just had the impulse to write.
Susan aka materialgirl
Actually this is a good question but as a sidebar (not to hijack the thread) but if you "did" meet a really terrific guy, would you change professions for him? (cuz eventually I hope you ladies do meet someone to meet your needs as a partner).
I for one would have no problem knowing a woman's past, that would be hypocritical of me to see sp's, yet condone what they did/do.....
Funny story for you: I met a french lady once and after about 2 weeks of seeing each other she says "you know what I did in quebec before I came here right"??? (she was a friend of a female friend from our gang) and I know there were hints around the group about what she did......(sp)....so I said, yeah, no problem.....about a week or so later we were watching tv and it was something about sp's...and I asked her, what she thought having some experience in the biz....she said "you thought I was a HOOKER"??? I said "I wasn't sure, but from the way you asked I thought it must have been..." LOL DOH she said "no I was a dancer..." I said hmm show me some moves lol she said "it didn't bother you that you thought I'd done that"?? I said "well, not really because that's not what you do now right, and I'm with you because of who you are, not who you did"....(I tell you boy, did I get laid THAT night lol)
I for one would have no problem knowing a woman's past, that would be hypocritical of me to see sp's, yet condone what they did/do.....
Funny story for you: I met a french lady once and after about 2 weeks of seeing each other she says "you know what I did in quebec before I came here right"??? (she was a friend of a female friend from our gang) and I know there were hints around the group about what she did......(sp)....so I said, yeah, no problem.....about a week or so later we were watching tv and it was something about sp's...and I asked her, what she thought having some experience in the biz....she said "you thought I was a HOOKER"??? I said "I wasn't sure, but from the way you asked I thought it must have been..." LOL DOH she said "no I was a dancer..." I said hmm show me some moves lol she said "it didn't bother you that you thought I'd done that"?? I said "well, not really because that's not what you do now right, and I'm with you because of who you are, not who you did"....(I tell you boy, did I get laid THAT night lol)
The reality is that it happens sometimes, even to people who swear they'd never. It IS generally good policy for both customers and dancers/SP's to avoid it because 9 times out of 10 it will turn out badly. Nevertheless, there's that other 1 time out of 10.
When you put men and women together inevitably sometimes things happen.
When you put men and women together inevitably sometimes things happen.
I'd leave it up to the guy to bring it up if he had feelings for me and if I did not share those feelings I would let him know it is all business and if I did share the same feelings then I would let him know. But, other than that I would keep it professional and just enjoy the time together and fatasize in my head. Call me old fashioned but I always let a man make the first move.
After more than 5 yrs in the business swearing I would never seriously date a client I met the man I thought I would be with for the rest of my life.
We ended up dating for just over a year and in the end it was just to difficult to continue on. It was a long distance relationship and his work and school commitments were eating up ALL of his time and we never got to see each other so I let him go.
Even though he had been a client I know it was hard for him to deal with what I did for a living, not that he ever mentioned it of course and I wasn't quite ready to quit yet so if the lack of time hadn't broken us up I am sure that eventually would have.
As I have said before, he is probably the one guy I will never entirely get over, and I don't regret breaking those rules for one second and the only thing I would likely ever give up the experiences I had with him for would be my children.
We ended up dating for just over a year and in the end it was just to difficult to continue on. It was a long distance relationship and his work and school commitments were eating up ALL of his time and we never got to see each other so I let him go.
Even though he had been a client I know it was hard for him to deal with what I did for a living, not that he ever mentioned it of course and I wasn't quite ready to quit yet so if the lack of time hadn't broken us up I am sure that eventually would have.
As I have said before, he is probably the one guy I will never entirely get over, and I don't regret breaking those rules for one second and the only thing I would likely ever give up the experiences I had with him for would be my children.
Sasha, sorry that it didn't work for you, but one thing you have to remember, it is truly better to have lived and loved than never have loved before....and yes, LD relationships are hard .....
Not that I am completely disagreeing with you, but with every rule there is an exception....Amara said:
One of my closest friends met a dancer at Treasure's a few years (4) ago when he purchased dances from her. They exchanged numbers, and proceeded to date. She said she had reservations about dating clients for the same reason you just mentioned.
The end result?
They just celebrated their first wedding anniversary and the birth of their first child.
She thought he would always see her as a dancer. Turns out he just ended up seeing her as perfect.
I'm not saying abandon your own personal rules - I'm just saying it might not be the best thing to paint every person with the same brush.
