After reading the post on the worries about growing old and lonely, I'd like to share my own personal story.
My grandmother (mother's side) lived a very difficult life. She had to wake up very early to do hard labour and on top of that she raised three children in utter poverty. She was an extremely selfless woman who never thought about herself, and only cared about others. She would also never use any gifts that were given to her, saying that it was a waste for her to use it. Thus, she collected all her gifts and would give them to others.
When she was old, her two other children would only visit her to eat her food, get things from her farm, and then leave. After her husband died, things became worse. My grandparents were extremely poor, but they had managed to save up a bit of money. After my grandfather died, he generously willed away most of his savings to his children and grandchildren.
Because she no longer had any money, fewer people came to see how she was doing, not even very close friends who lived minutes away. Everyone was all of a sudden very cold. My uncle became very abusive. Knowing that he would inherit the land when she died, he wanted her to die as soon as possible. My grandmother was living in an extremely old and dirty house, filled with roaches, and no heating. Since my uncle would obviously not spend the rest of his life in that house, he tore down her guest house, throwing out all of her possessions and memories without her permission (photo albums, personal belongings, etc...). Then he build a nice house there, right next to hers. Any normal human being would then happily welcome her to live in the new house. But he didn't. Saying that if she lived in the house, it would become dirty, he wouldn't let her step inside. There are countless other things that he has done which cannot be considered anything but abuse.
Today my grandmother is still alive at 101. She said her wish was to see her grandchildren get married. However, when my uncle's children were married, my uncle did not invite my grandmother to her own grandchildren's weddings.
She has some health problems, one of them being that she is practically deaf and cut off from the world. My mother is very loving and has tried to help her every way she can, buying her things and visiting her as often as she can, but it's very draining. Even calling her to talk on the phone is impossible, as my grandmother cannot make out anything and the conversation is one-way. So today my grandmother spends all day at home by herself in front of the tv, slowly wasting away. A government-appointed careworker visits her to help.
So my grandmother has done so much for everyone, but no one has done a thing to repay her. It's so easy to forget all the kindness and love she has given them. I am guilty of the same neglect. For all my whining about how I never received a New Year's call from anyone, I didn't even bother to send my own grandmother a gift, card, or phone call.
I learned that it doesn't pay to be selfless. No one is going to look out for you when you are old, poor, in poor health, dirty, and ugly. You need to look out for yourself, and do whatever's right for you. Fuck everyone else. Be selfish. Be selfish as you can be, as it's not a bad thing in the world that we live in today.
My grandmother (mother's side) lived a very difficult life. She had to wake up very early to do hard labour and on top of that she raised three children in utter poverty. She was an extremely selfless woman who never thought about herself, and only cared about others. She would also never use any gifts that were given to her, saying that it was a waste for her to use it. Thus, she collected all her gifts and would give them to others.
When she was old, her two other children would only visit her to eat her food, get things from her farm, and then leave. After her husband died, things became worse. My grandparents were extremely poor, but they had managed to save up a bit of money. After my grandfather died, he generously willed away most of his savings to his children and grandchildren.
Because she no longer had any money, fewer people came to see how she was doing, not even very close friends who lived minutes away. Everyone was all of a sudden very cold. My uncle became very abusive. Knowing that he would inherit the land when she died, he wanted her to die as soon as possible. My grandmother was living in an extremely old and dirty house, filled with roaches, and no heating. Since my uncle would obviously not spend the rest of his life in that house, he tore down her guest house, throwing out all of her possessions and memories without her permission (photo albums, personal belongings, etc...). Then he build a nice house there, right next to hers. Any normal human being would then happily welcome her to live in the new house. But he didn't. Saying that if she lived in the house, it would become dirty, he wouldn't let her step inside. There are countless other things that he has done which cannot be considered anything but abuse.
Today my grandmother is still alive at 101. She said her wish was to see her grandchildren get married. However, when my uncle's children were married, my uncle did not invite my grandmother to her own grandchildren's weddings.
She has some health problems, one of them being that she is practically deaf and cut off from the world. My mother is very loving and has tried to help her every way she can, buying her things and visiting her as often as she can, but it's very draining. Even calling her to talk on the phone is impossible, as my grandmother cannot make out anything and the conversation is one-way. So today my grandmother spends all day at home by herself in front of the tv, slowly wasting away. A government-appointed careworker visits her to help.
So my grandmother has done so much for everyone, but no one has done a thing to repay her. It's so easy to forget all the kindness and love she has given them. I am guilty of the same neglect. For all my whining about how I never received a New Year's call from anyone, I didn't even bother to send my own grandmother a gift, card, or phone call.
I learned that it doesn't pay to be selfless. No one is going to look out for you when you are old, poor, in poor health, dirty, and ugly. You need to look out for yourself, and do whatever's right for you. Fuck everyone else. Be selfish. Be selfish as you can be, as it's not a bad thing in the world that we live in today.
