-eating fried onions and noticing how bad my farts smell the next day
-when the homeless ask me if I have change, and I say yes, and then I walk away
-feeding wine gums to a dog, knowing that it will take it a half hour to chew them
-book rental cars online under somebody else’s name and email, and have the cancellation fees ultimately charged to them
-going into a Chinese restaurant and ordering a crub soda
-smoking Colts in the lobby of my building and the smell lasts for 4 days
-tease the strippers at a club by opening my wallet and start counting my money, and then saying “no, it’s not for you, it’s for the down payment of a car”
-hardwiring my boom-box/computer speakers into my apartment’s intercom system so that 2 Live Crew plays into the lobby offending anybody who walks by
-register somebody else’s name into a transsexual forum
-egging on street racers at the stop light, so that they take off like a rocket and get pulled over while I merrily cruise by doing the speed limit
-selecting the same song ten times in a row from a bar’s jukebox, and watch people’s response
-go into a bar, order the most complicated drink possible, and then leave a %5 tip
-rent a car, and consistently gun the throttle when the light turns green, and cruise in 2nd gear so that the motor is constantly at redline
-using fart spray in the public library
-feed the seagulls hot peppers and watch them shit their lives away
-join on of those singles websites (like Adult Friend Finder, or Fling), post a picture of someone else who is hot (and a doctor), and lead the girls on
- creating smart-ass posts like this one in order to rile everybody up