Stripping a soul-destroying profession?

[jwmorrice]

If I were a woman, I wouldn't want to be dancing for creeps like myself.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepag...ve-student-who-stripped-to-pay-uni-debts.html

jwm

 

[Bale]

And the kicker is that she was only at it for a year and she felt that way.

Can you imagine doing this for 5+ years .... would probably have a huge collection of voodoo dolls by now.

 

[Rockslinger]

If I were a woman, I wouldn't want to be dancing for creeps like myself.

Can't be worse than being a psychologist. A female friend had to quit because every day she met with victims of abuse and/or hardcore criminals. Talk about soul destroying.

 

[Rockslinger]

And the kicker is that she was only at it for a year and she felt that way.
Can you imagine doing this for 5+ years .... would probably have a huge collection of voodoo dolls by now.

My dancer friend said that she simply puts on her "game face" to cope. No different than picking up road kill which a friend of mine from university did as a Summer job patroling the highways.

 

[jwmorrice]

Can't be worse than being a psychologist. A female friend had to quit because every day she met with victims of abuse and/or hardcore criminals. Talk about soul destroying.

You don't want to do that face-to-face stuff if you can help it. If you use the couch, i.e. sit behind your client, you can take little naps, pick your nose, clean your nails, look at your mail, make faces at your patient, etc. It can be a good gig.

jwm

 

[Rockslinger]

You don't want to do that face-to-face stuff if you can help it.

She told me some case histories (obviously no names) of abuse and it is heartbreaking. I told her not to think of these patients as human beings (which they are) but simply as case histories but she is too gentle a soul to not let it affect her emotionally. She felt she had to quit or go insane. She is now doing interior decorating for rich people in Rosedale.

 

[rhuarc29]

It is only soul-destroying if you are doing it against your will (aka you need the money). As she herself observes, there's no such thing as easy money - atleast not to those of us with a concience. The problem is that society has cast stripping in an evil light: it belittles women, ropes in strictly perverts, etc. Me and my friends go to the BR about twice a year and we don't think less of either the patrons or the strippers - in fact if we met them outside the club we'd treat them like any other girl. We're just there to have some fun, and that's what they're offering. Is that perverted? I guess to some it is. Is that demeaning? To this girl it apparently was. I think she just wrapped her head around it the wrong way.

 

[jwmorrice]

She told me some case histories (obviously no names) of abuse and it is heartbreaking. I told her not to think of these patients as human beings (which they are) but simply as case histories but she is too gentle a soul to not let it affect her emotionally. She felt she had to quit or go insane. She is now doing interior decorating for rich people in Rosedale.

Some people pass beyond empathy and lose themselves in those they are treating. Not a healthy situation. Sounds like she made the right choice.

jwm

 

[Jennifer_]

And the kicker is that she was only at it for a year and she felt that way.

Can you imagine doing this for 5+ years .... would probably have a huge collection of voodoo dolls by now.

Stripping, escorting, massaging.... it doesn't really make a difference - we all have similar obstacles.

I've been in this world for 7 years - I don't believe I've destroyed my soul - (... and I've dealt with a few very-trying situations because of the industry), in fact, I believe the industry has helped me in a lot of ways - some of which are deeply-personal - much more significant than cashflow.

I wouldn't necessarily recommend that women jump into my line of work...(I do think it takes a certain personality to be able to handle it), and my personal experience hasn't been pure sunshine and rainbows... but I am wise-enough to recognize the good that my "job" has brought me and will never regret my choice to jump into this little world.....

 

[Blue-Spheroid]

Not every dancer feels the same way about her job. I'm sure all would be happy to retire (if they could afford it) but not all of them hate it.

 

[Berlin]

Don't tell me she worked at Stringfellows.

 

[nottyboi]

there are many soul destroying jobs out there. It amuses me how a person in the fashion industry can criticize stripping. Half the people in that industry get ahead by sucking cock.

 

[oldjones]

I have to agree; many, many jobs amount to little more than selling yourself. On the other hand even in a craft like lap dance/stripping a person with their head screwed on right can see a fair exchange of value is the deal, find pride in their own professional expertise and realize that any job, and what you take away from it—spiritually and financially—is what you make of it. I've managed to meet a couple such over the years.

 

[Alex_Ontario]

This business can wear you down in all aspects IF you let it consume you. It should be noted that many people are not cut out for this line of work and many come into it with moral issues. This can become an issue because that is what many people focus on along with the stigma attached to the adult industry. I've had my fair share of BS in this business but as the life saying goes: " Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." Everyone 'whores' themselves out for a job at one point or another.


As other people here have mentioned, there are other careers out there that can damage someone. I've seen a few people I know in other careers (mainly police officers) that have become emotionally damaged and wound up with ruined marriages. I've heard the stories their wives have told me and how it has affected their husbands and families and I would not want to be in their position.

 

[Brill]

Stripping or escorting is often a job of last resort - the bills have to be paid, the kid needs to be fed, etc..
But it's nice to see when women turn it to their advantage and become empowered by the job, even enjoy and take pride in it despite the losers they must run into on occasion.

 

[freestuff]

I don't think it's the stripping per se that is soul crushing. I mean everyone knows that if they want to be strippers they're going to have to get naked. I think it's the fact that strippers have to deal with all other shit that they didn't know/expect that is soul crushing. For example, groping hands/sexual assault. Or guys who waste their time and try to play games with them (e.g. ask them out on dates). Or guys propositioning them for $20 FS, HJ, BJ or TO. Or working in a "dirty" club where you can only make $$$ if you're a whore. Or guys who go to strip clubs so they can demean/insult the strippers. Or working many hours and then having to tips bouncers/DJ/club and leaving with little or no money.

 

[genintoronto]

I would love for once to read an account of sex work in the media in which there is space for something a little more complex than an experience which is utterly soul-destroying or fantastically empowering.

 

[oldjones]

You're right. The act(s) alone is not necessarily soul crushing. But think about how it must feel to be judged on your looks or body parts. What effect does it have on your self-esteem to be treated like a commodity, or a "thing" to be bought? That's gotta be tough.

I find that girls who have a reason to get into the biz to be more level headed. Single moms, girls helping their families with $$$, girls who have ambitious other careers.

Girls who are in it for the $$$ seem to get hurt. quick.

Judging on body parts! Now who would ever expect that? As customers we've probably all seen at least one dancer who seems unattractive enough to make you wonder, "Who's ever gonna give her a dance?" Whoever called women the weaker sex obviously never met women tough enough to take that rejection day after day.

But most dancers got their gigs because they were above average in looks—like the girl in the story—and those are the ones, who never thought beyond, "I'm so pretty, men adore me; men will pay because I'm so pretty, men adore…" who have to face the reality on the job they never did before. It's work; it's not meant to be fun. It's hard because that's what work is.

Some jobs are just hard—like loading furniture—and some jobs are ugly and hard—like cleaning up highway accidents—and stripping's in there somewhere.

But I'd just betcha' the ones for whom it was "soul-destroying" are the ones who never saw it as a job. There's no such thing as easy money.

 

[rhuarc29]

Call me naive, but does this stuff actually happen in strip clubs more often than once in a blue moon? All the propositioning and aggressiveness? I, and I assume my friends, all allow the dancers to lead how "physical" it gets. I can see how a dancer might feel that she must allow some things to take place against her will to get ahead, just like kissing my bosses ass might help me get ahead, but I hope they never feel the necessity of it. We all have to deal with asshole customers every now and then and sometimes it is wearing...although I wouldn't say soul-destroying. If a customer gets rude or demeaning, a dancer should be encouraged by the managers to walk away. Without naming names, I've noticed that some of the managers at a certain joint have less respect for their dancers than the majority of the patrons, which isn't right at all. If there's any issue with the industry, it lies with the management.

 

[red]

I would love for once to read an account of sex work in the media in which there is space for something a little more complex than an experience which is utterly soul-destroying or fantastically empowering.

you mean an article which treats them like everyone else? heaven forbid