Suspicions confirmed... CAUGHT HER!

[capncrunch]

I had a hunch something was up.

I've been seeing this sweet young thing for a short time (couple of months). I had suspicions that she was diddling about on the side and asked her about it. She assured me that she wasn't dating/sleeping with other guys. Now, we never had the dreaded "exclusivity" talk, but we both said that if we were going to be with other partners, just to be honest about it mostly for the sake of safety. So if she was bonking someone else, that wouldn't be all bad, I just wanted to know about it ahead of time so I could make an informed decision about whether to continue on or not.

So I asked her about getting together next weekend. She told me she was working and wouldn't be available.

Well, she lied. She sent me a text message that was supposed to go to somebody else about making arrangements for a tryst next weekend.

As far as I know, she isn't aware that I'm onto her.

I don't have much invested emotionally in this so I'm not broken up about it in the least. But I do hate being lied to.

We're supposed to get together tomorrow evening. My first thought was that I'd just tell her that this isn't working for me and end it cleanly. No fuss, no muss, no further contact, end of story.

I still have the text message in the memory of my cellphone. One idea was to simply show it to her and then boot her ass out. Or maybe have one last shag and THEN tell her to hit the bricks. No matter how it's done, it's over. Full stop.

But then I got thinking... "What would the brotherhood/sisterhood of Terbites suggest?"

So, fellow Terbites, you know the situation. What's your suggestion? Points for imagination.

 

[S.C. Joe]

I would not say anything but keep seeing her part time if you can handle it. A little love is still better than none...she must be looking for something better, you should too but in the mean time if she still want to hang out once in while great.

 

[ladyava]

My $0.02

If I were in your shoes, I would look at this in the long run...

If you want to keep her as a 'f-buddy', confront her, tell her that there are no hard feelings, "let's just keep on shagging baby." And she better understand that you'll be getting yours on the side too. Make it an open relationship.

But, if you were hoping that this blooms into something more serious, dump her quick... while you hope for exclusivity, she'll be committing this behaviour again in the future. It's hard to break fun, yet hurtful, habits. You had sneaking suspicions from the beginning... and those suspicions will stick around as things get more intense. You'll just be hurting yourself in the long run.

Admittedly, I'm curious as to what the text exactly said that you can tell it was going to be a tryst? Hmm. (Just an open question, doesn't require an answer.)

Good Luck!
Ava

 

[stinkynuts]

I think you need to be careful not to jump to conclusions based on the text message. Perhaps it's all a big misunderstanding. Confront her about it and see what she says.

 

[Dirtyoldbasturd]

Your first instinct are usually right ...9 out of 10 times.

If you dont bite this in the ass now then she'll continue to play with you like this. sorry to say this but...Dont be weak.

Show her the text or text it back to her and then ask her what the "F" is this all about.

By the sounds of it you've already made you desicion you just need justification from others.

So...my answer to you is....dump her and fast before you change your mind, there's better girls out there that wont lie to you.

I know this from experience, I went through something similar to this a few months ago.

 

[capncrunch]

Admittedly, I'm curious as to what the text exactly said that you can tell it was going to be a tryst?

The text said, verbatim:

cant w8 to fuk u fri nite​

Not much open to interpretation there.

To Dirtyoldbasturd: I get your point, but it's not about being weak or looking for justification. It's about style. Again, if she wanted to sleep with other guys, that'd be OK. I wasn't looking for exclusivity anyway, and as long as she didn't lie about it that would be OK. But she did. I won't tolerate a liar, so the relationship (such as it was) is over. I was just wondering how my imaginative friends here on Terb might handle such a thing.

 

[Geographic]

Cheaters

Why don't you call the TV show cheaters so that they can set up the ground work for one of their famous confrontations catching the cheater in the act.

 

[skypilot]

You have a rare opportunity. Don't comfront her, just play along. keep your feelings protected then lower the boom at the most satisfying moment for you.

 

[Aardvark154]

Suspicions confirmed... CAUGHT HER!

Capn, I'm sorry, I can't imagine something like this not hurting!

I find particularly troubling the double lying: not only didn't she voluntarily tell you about seeing the other person, she lied to you when given the opportunity to say that she couldn't see you because she was seeing someone else.

 

[rama putri]

You guys have it all wrong. If you are not emotionally attached and she's pretty good looking, decent in the sac, I would fcuk her brians out whenever I could until I get bored and then dump her. She's obviously not attached to you. Who knows maybe it will lead to a friends with benefits thing? I have a couple of those going on. In the end no one gets hurt, but everyone has fun. This path is also a clear one if it turns out you are wrong. I know you have the one piece of evidence, but who knows?

 

[Billy Box]

Don't let her know that you know what she's up to - just keep fucking her when you have the opportunity. At least you'll keep your little guy happy.

 

[Doctor Zoidburg]

Never let a mark know that they have been got.

Get you last shag. take 5 if you like, have one on me. Get very casual and just end it ..................walk off singing I DID IT MY WAY!

 

[ladyava]

Hmmm... thanks for the text... but I have to go with Stinkynuts here...

Perhaps you shouldn't jump to conclusions on this one? I'd ask her about it, because maybe she changed her mind? Or forgot that she had told you that she wasn't available on the weekend, and is screwing up her own calendar? (Weekend to me means Saturday and Sunday anyway.)

Or be ready for her to approach you with "So? Did you get my text about Friday night? I really can't wait..." Oh, then you'd be stumped. Be careful.

Ava

 

[Mia.Colpa]

You guys have it all wrong. If you are not emotionally attached and she's pretty good looking, decent in the sac, I would fcuk her brians out whenever I could until I get bored and then dump her. She's obviously not attached to you. Who knows maybe it will lead to a friends with benefits thing? I have a couple of those going on. In the end no one gets hurt, but everyone has fun. This path is also a clear one if it turns out you are wrong. I know you have the one piece of evidence, but who knows?

Bingo, there's my kinda of guy, lol. Life is short, play around until you had enough, but don't let other opportunities pass you by because of this, juggle as many as you can handle.

 

[Doctor Zoidburg]

Never let a mark know that they have been got.

Get your last shag. take 5 if you like, have one on me. Get very casual and just end it ..................walk off singing I DID IT MY WAY!

 

[Dirtyoldbasturd]

To Dirtyoldbasturd: I get your point, but it's not about being weak or looking for justification. It's about style. Again, if she wanted to sleep with other guys, that'd be OK. I wasn't looking for exclusivity anyway, and as long as she didn't lie about it that would be OK. But she did. I won't tolerate a liar, so the relationship (such as it was) is over. I was just wondering how my imaginative friends here on Terb might handle such a thing.

I hear you on that.... Sorry for miss understanding you. As long as you know it's over with her.

It's shitty when people lie to you.

If you want to get back at her for lying to you, sleep with her bang her like you've never banged her before then take her out to dinner as if nothing is wrong show her the text ask her about it, excuse yourself from the table and stick the bill with her. Then text her from your car saying " You just got Fuc'd good by me twice tonight.

 

[capncrunch]

Hmmm... thanks for the text... but I have to go with Stinkynuts here...

Perhaps you shouldn't jump to conclusions on this one? I'd ask her about it, because maybe she changed her mind? Or forgot that she had told you that she wasn't available on the weekend, and is screwing up her own calendar? (Weekend to me means Saturday and Sunday anyway.)

Or be ready for her to approach you with "So? Did you get my text about Friday night? I really can't wait..." Oh, then you'd be stumped. Be careful.

Ava

I see what you mean, but I had already asked her about Friday night when she told me she was working all weekend and wouldn't be able to get together. She had also included the other dude's name in the text. (Sorry, I should have included that info in my previous post.)

 

[TheShadow]

She had also included the other dude's name in the text.

DAMN!!!
I was hoping she was actually seeing another WOMAN!!

 

[dnl412]

I hear you on that.... Sorry for miss understanding you. As long as you know it's over with her.

It's shitty when people lie to you.

If you want to get back at her for lying to you, sleep with her bang her like you've never banged her before then take her out to dinner as if nothing is wrong show her the text ask her about it, excuse yourself from the table and stick the bill with her. Then text her from your car saying " You just got Fuc'd good by me twice tonight.

Horrible idea. The intended recipient would be in the dark about her plans so by now she figured out she sent it to the wrong person, she'll look in her phone to see and she'll know who she sent it to. A friend of mine got stuck with a $1,400 bill in Yorkville when she walked out first. His plan was to walk out after a similar occurrence.

Enjoy her company if she's good; just never do anything with her you would not do with an SP, or rather anything an SP would not let you do with her. When this last happened to me, I asked her nicely and it turned out the text was for her much better looking and four years younger (20) girlfriend; we ended up having some really good three way fun afterwards for about six months or so until it fizzled out...

If perceived "exclusivity" is your excuse for unprotected sex then get ready to join the AIDS club because it is inevitable.

 

[Cycleguy007]

Different perspective...

Maybe she IS seeing someone else, but that someone else is giving her something you are not... Perhaps the text message you intercepted, was meant for her girlfriend!

Does THAT change your perspective a little?