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incognito

Active member
Jan 8, 2004
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Not sure but it's awfully hot down here.
How does one talk to a girl without it seeming like I'm hitting on her. Most, or should i say all of my friends that are girls are either friends or SO of guy friends. They say i'm a good guy (wtf does that mean anyways) and i'll meet a girl sooner or later. I'm a rather straight forward guy who doesn't beat around the bush and i think that might put off some people. It's sad to say that i ain't good looking (thats a fact, not feeling down on myself) so that makes it 10x harder. Whats an asian guy to do?

Incognito
 
Keebler Elf

Keebler Elf

The Original Elf
Aug 31, 2001
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The Keebler Factory
Agreed. If you come across as being desperate, then you come across as being desperate. I've found that girls (especially the hot looking ones) like it when you don't hit on them or fawn all over them. It makes you a challenge and "mysterious". They're so used to having guys trip over themselves that when you don't, they wonder why and want to learn more.

Now when you say you're a pretty forward guy, do you mean "Hey baby, let's go back to my place and boink!!!"? Cuz if so, that's problem #1.

One of the most important things I've learned is patience. I've known girls for years as friends before we hit if off, and it sure pays off! My buddies sometimes think I'm nuts cuz I'm not always going in for the "kill", but I prefer quality over quantity and you can get so much more if you're just patient. Of course, you have to tread that fine line between being patient and giving the false impression that you're not interested.
 
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i_am_good

Well-known member
Apr 1, 2002
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All you have to do is...

incognito said:
You guys are absoloutley right. Thanks.

Btw, i'm not that forward. I just call it as i see it, i speak my mind thats all. And i am being myself cause i don't know how to be anything else.
Click to expand...
Read Cosmo!
 
Meesh

Meesh

It was VICIOUS!
Jun 3, 2002
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drlove said:
Just be yourself.
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I've always tried to be Goober.

That could explain my dismal failure with the ladies.
 
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yoniluvrca

Member
Sep 16, 2002
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www.angusmagee.com
Hi

What we guys often forget is that there is no "way" to be with women. Women are very sensitive to energy. If you speak with them in any way that is not in touch with your energy-they know. They know when we want to "boink" them-which is not difficult as this is most of the time.

I find that a women most appreciates me when I am straight with her. If my energy matches my intention then she is free to say yes or no. If she says no, and I cut her off (energetically), then I am proving to her (and myself) that I was not, in fact, being honest with my intention. If I simply remain open to her then she will likely (but not guaranteed) change her mind at some point.

The advise-be yourself-is most useful and also deceptive. We seem to spend much of our time hiding from ourselves. Not really being honest about what we want on a moment by moment basis. So then when you try to "be yourself" in fact you are play-acting a part that you think you "should" be. The "sensitive guy who does not really want sex" is a roll I played for years, and still slip into from time to time. What I never realised was that my energy was much more demanding of sex and this is what the women I approached felt, and were turned off by. Not because I wanted sex but because I was so out of touch with the fact that I wanted sex and pretended otherwise.

Just something to look at
 
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Annessa

Banned
Jul 30, 2003
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drlove said:
Just be yourself.
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I could have not said it better myself. Be yourself!

I won't give a man the time of day that uses pick-up lines, staring, whistling, showing-off. The man that gets my attention is the one that is himself and has the courage to comes up to me and say something like...

"Hi, my name is Michael. I don't mean to bother you but I was wondering if I could buy you a coffee/drink if you have the time"



Your Cheetah Girl,
Annessa
XOXO
 
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incognito

Active member
Jan 8, 2004
1,732
1
38
Not sure but it's awfully hot down here.
I don't want to sound like i'm bragging (in fact i hate it) but i don't know what else to improve on. Maybe some of you guys and gals can give me some ideas. I am an accomplished cook, i work out bout 4-5 times a week and i read alot (not just comics) as i consider myself to be a semi-intelectual. I know i could stand to loose a few pounds (Ok..alot more pounds).

And Annessa, its amazing how forgivable it is when a good looking guy uses a pick up line cause its seen as cute or charming, thrust me, i've seen it in action. While if a not so attractive guy uses the same line, its down right laughable and embarasing. Your way may suite you fine but its not for everyone. Thanks for the advice though.
 
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blondegirl

New member
Aug 20, 2004
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my thoughts

I dunno.. I have gone out with good looking guys, and guys that haven't been great looking, but where personality won me over. The guy I'm dating now is not good looking at all.. but he has this way about him. I'll try to describe it. I guess he listened to me, gave me advice, flirted with me, gave me compliments, but not in an overbearing way. The subtle flirting made me subconsciously think of him as more than a friend. He pays for dinner and drinks. He respects me, carries my bags etc. Little things like that are sweet. But he also has his own opinions, and we disagree. So he has a backbone. Plus he makes me feel like I can be myself around him, I don't have to pretend to be perfect. Those are all the things I love about him. Hopefully that helps.
 
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sonnyboy

New member
Aug 16, 2003
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Nice Guys Finish Last

If you are a nice guy you may not have much luck. Girls like bad boys and once they have lived with them for a year or two they know why they call them bad boys.
 
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blondegirl

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Aug 20, 2004
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sonnyboy, I don't think nice guys finish last. Listen, girls don't want a man that they can walk all over. They want a guy that has his own opinion, they want an arguement every once in awhile. But other than that, I believe most women want a nice guy.
 
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sonnyboy

New member
Aug 16, 2003
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Badboys Rule !

Blondegirl I been around a long time and girls say they want a nice guy but the truth is they don`t. Badboys rule!
 
Meesh

Meesh

It was VICIOUS!
Jun 3, 2002
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blondegirl said:
sonnyboy, I don't think nice guys finish last. Listen, girls don't want a man that they can walk all over. They want a guy that has his own opinion, they want an arguement every once in awhile. But other than that, I believe most women want a nice guy.
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But they want to have sex with the bad boys.
 
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blondegirl

New member
Aug 20, 2004
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incognito.. well than try and be a bad boy and find out how many women you get and report back to us. I mean there's a difference between getting a quality girl for a girlfriend, or finding a girl you just want to F%$K. If you're trying to find a girlfriend, I think the approach I told you about earlier works. If you just want to F^%K a girl, then yeah, be a bad boy.
 
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