1.) You've gotta "introduce" yourself to Willy Wonderful, I.e.,"Hi! I'm
.....! Nice to meet ya, big guy !". Don't dive on it likes it's a raw
Piece of meat and you're a starving pitbull! Be gentle. Stroke him nice
And easy. Make friends first.
2.) When (Not "IF" ) giving oral sex, don't suck so hard that you make
An industrial vacuum cleaner appear as a dust buster and suck the man's
Eyeballs out of his sockets. Mr. Penis is a sensitive "guy" ya know. Be
Gentle Contrary to your practicing techniques in high school, the one
Who "Melts" the popsicle first is not the winner.
3.) When sitting on top of a man, don't move too far forward or back. Up
And down is fine. What you're gonna do if you do move too far forward And
Back is rip Mr. Penis right off Mr. Man's crotch. Mr. Penis isn't made For
That action. And, VERY Important. When going up and down, if you should
Go up A little too high and Mr. Penis pops out, you are not a basketball net,
And Willy Wonderful is not a golf ball ... Your aim is not that good, and
Your100 Lbs, and this little Newton thingy called gravity will seriously
Injure Mr. Penis.
4.) Hand jobs - When stroking a guy's Dick don't grab it like a bus rail
And start jerking it like you were milking a cow. Don't use the love Sword
As if it's a piece of gym equipment to strengthen the forearms, and
Remember friction is the problem ... Lubrication, the cure.
5.) Proper care of the love Tool - like any good tool you wanna keep
Around for a while you've gotta take good care of it just as you do your
Dildo or your car. Wash him off after and dry him gently. Oil him Frequently,
And have him park in the garage as often as you can. Never bend, fold
Spindle or mutilate. You'll get years of use out of him that way.
6.) If Mr. Penis appears uninterested, he's just being coy or stupid.
That's where you have to use step #1 again. If no response, then you
Sure gave him a good workout the first time. Good for you!
7.) Never, ever play "crush the grapes" with Mr. Penis's two friends,
Mr. Balls. Nothing can make Mr. Penis shrink faster. Not even ice or a
Nude Pic of Janet Reno and the Queen Mother playing chess at the Naturalist
Beach last July.
8.) If you're a golfer, never use Mr.Penis as a tee.
9.) If Mr.Penis can't "throw up" then his owner worked too hard on
Pleasing you. Be thankful. If Mr. Penis spits too soon, be proud that
You had that effect on him ...Not everyone can have that effect on him.
10.) If you don't want Mr. Penis so deep, don't say, "Shit! Not that
Deep! What are you doing ...Drilling for oil??" Say, "Wow you're much
Bigger Than I thought. Could you take it a little easier on me?"
And never never ever say "Is it in?"
.....! Nice to meet ya, big guy !". Don't dive on it likes it's a raw
Piece of meat and you're a starving pitbull! Be gentle. Stroke him nice
And easy. Make friends first.
2.) When (Not "IF" ) giving oral sex, don't suck so hard that you make
An industrial vacuum cleaner appear as a dust buster and suck the man's
Eyeballs out of his sockets. Mr. Penis is a sensitive "guy" ya know. Be
Gentle Contrary to your practicing techniques in high school, the one
Who "Melts" the popsicle first is not the winner.
3.) When sitting on top of a man, don't move too far forward or back. Up
And down is fine. What you're gonna do if you do move too far forward And
Back is rip Mr. Penis right off Mr. Man's crotch. Mr. Penis isn't made For
That action. And, VERY Important. When going up and down, if you should
Go up A little too high and Mr. Penis pops out, you are not a basketball net,
And Willy Wonderful is not a golf ball ... Your aim is not that good, and
Your100 Lbs, and this little Newton thingy called gravity will seriously
Injure Mr. Penis.
4.) Hand jobs - When stroking a guy's Dick don't grab it like a bus rail
And start jerking it like you were milking a cow. Don't use the love Sword
As if it's a piece of gym equipment to strengthen the forearms, and
Remember friction is the problem ... Lubrication, the cure.
5.) Proper care of the love Tool - like any good tool you wanna keep
Around for a while you've gotta take good care of it just as you do your
Dildo or your car. Wash him off after and dry him gently. Oil him Frequently,
And have him park in the garage as often as you can. Never bend, fold
Spindle or mutilate. You'll get years of use out of him that way.
6.) If Mr. Penis appears uninterested, he's just being coy or stupid.
That's where you have to use step #1 again. If no response, then you
Sure gave him a good workout the first time. Good for you!
7.) Never, ever play "crush the grapes" with Mr. Penis's two friends,
Mr. Balls. Nothing can make Mr. Penis shrink faster. Not even ice or a
Nude Pic of Janet Reno and the Queen Mother playing chess at the Naturalist
Beach last July.
8.) If you're a golfer, never use Mr.Penis as a tee.
9.) If Mr.Penis can't "throw up" then his owner worked too hard on
Pleasing you. Be thankful. If Mr. Penis spits too soon, be proud that
You had that effect on him ...Not everyone can have that effect on him.
10.) If you don't want Mr. Penis so deep, don't say, "Shit! Not that
Deep! What are you doing ...Drilling for oil??" Say, "Wow you're much
Bigger Than I thought. Could you take it a little easier on me?"
And never never ever say "Is it in?"
