Understanding Escort Ads.

[drrogers]

Understanding escort ads.

The reading and understanding of Escort ads (especially those on Craigslist) has gotten more difficult. What do all these things mean. How can you know what the individual advertising is really like.

Recently someone else (wish I had thought of it) came up with the following compendium of translations from Escort Ads.

BBW = fat
Voluptuous = fat
Curvy = fat
Curvaceous = fat
Thick = fat
Rubenesque = fat
Womanly = fat
Hourglass = fat
Supersized = fat
Pic of face only? = fat
Pic of body under bedsheet? = fat
Gives bra size only? = fat
Busty = either saggy or fat
Naturally busty = saggy and fat
Real woman = saggy, fat and ugly

Slim = no boobs
Svelte = no boobs
Slender = no boobs
Dancer's body = no boobs
Runner = no boobs
Spinner = no boobs
Yoga = no boobs
Athletic = no boobs


Bombshell = fake boobs
Baywatch = fake boobs
Playboy = fake boobs
Model = fake boobs

Brazilian = black
Butterscotch = black
Caramel = black
Chocolate = black
Creole = black
Cuban = black
Dominican = black
Ebony = black
Egyptian = black
Eritrean = black
Ethiopian = black
Exotic = black
Mahogany = black
Mocha = black
Mulatto = black
Nubian = black
Mixed = black

Mature = old
Courtesan = old
Gracious = old
Refined = old
Elegant = old
Classic = old
Conservative = old
Original = old
Legendary = old

Age = generally add a few years, here are some frequent exceptions:
College Student = late 20's
Just turned 18 = mid 20's
19 = possible jailbait
21 = late 20's
28 = late 30's

Intelligent = brunette
Sorority Girl = blonde
Selective = overpriced
Exclusive = very overpriced
Classy = can't afford lingerie
Freaky = doesn't shower between clients
Nasty = doesn't shower at all
Upscale = snooty personality
All American = trailer trash
Princess = I have an attitude problem
Party girl = I'll be high on drugs
On fire = active herpes outbreak
Las Vegas = Bellagio prices, Motel 6 service
coed = plain looking with acne problem
girl next door = looks like the boy next door
Goddess = If you believe this is me in the pictures...
Real Doll = Bubba brings you an inflatable doll, no refunds
Energetic = methamphetamine addict
Down to earth = boring
College graduate = sleeps with professors
open minded = openly accepts tips
two girl show = one girl shows, one girl steals your stuff
Tight = Hot dog down a hallway

New to business = changed name
New to area = changed name and moved across town
Only here for a few days = staying until bad reviews run me out of town

Up to an hour = 1 shot and she's gone.
Discreet = I check your ID
Discrete = I can't spell
Advance notice required = you'll never get a hold of me
Seeks generous gentleman = ROB for the elderly
Seeks generous businessmen = ROB for out-of-towners
Once in a lifetime experience = you won't repeat
I love what I do = I'm desperate for clients.
Satisfaction guaranteed = I guarantee I'm getting your money
Good Rate - because I'm fat and ugly
Good Rate = because I have no customers
I'm available - because I have no customers.
Special today - because I have no customers.

snowbunny = white girl with a pimp
Available 24/7 = my pimp doesn't let me sleep
AD WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS = my pimp can't type
aD wRiTTeN iN mIxED cAsE = my pimp is learning how to type

You won't be sorry = You'll be disappointed
You won't be disappointed = You'll be sorry

Real Pic = Pic of me 12 years and 40 lbs ago
Actual photo = of someone else
Recent photo = of someone else

CMT = good massage, bad sex
FBSM = bad massage, good sex

everything safe = no gfe no dfk no lfk no bbj
safe gfe = no gfe no dfk no lfk no bbj
ultimate safe gfe = no gfe no dfk no lfk no bbj
very safe = no gfe no dfk no lfk no bbj
all safe play = no gfe no dfk no lfk no bbj

YMMV = I don't do it with anyone but make you think it's just you that I won't do it with
YMMV = I do it with everyone but want you to feel special so I can suck you in for a tip.

Upscale incall = motel 6

What an ad DOESN'T say, is also a source of information:
Unless specified, you can assume:
hair color ____ = brown
hair length_____ = to shoulder
eye color _____= brown
age_____ = mature
height_____ = short
weight_____ = heavy
cup size_____ = small
measurements_____ = large

 

[afterhours]

This is the holy truth...

Real woman = saggy, fat and ugly ))

 

[Rockslinger]

It's good to see a post from "The Original Doctor" again.

On the age thing, I will never understand is why escorts or their agencies would advertise a 22 year old as 18 or 19 year old.

 

[oil&gas]

So are they expected to be brutally honest?

Would it help if the escort ads use wording like anorexic or
overweight instead of slim, model or rubenesque?

Would they survive if an ad uses description "looks like a horse"
or "like a hag" for their looks?

How about saying something like "...open to relationship with
gullible clients who won't know I would just want to steal money
from them....".

These escorts have a business to do. It is a business of
playing mind games, a business of deception.
We hobbyist shouldn't expect them to be any less deceptive
than the politicians we vote for.

 

[fuji]

You forgot:

pic with arm positioned over belly = fat
pic with loose fitting clothing = fat
pic of ass only = fat
pic from boobs up only = fat

 

[Macator2003]

See, I figured terbies were smart enough to figure out any euphemisms, so I just tell people that I am a fatass with small boobs who just turned 23. LOL Any discrepancies that people find between my honest description and my pictures/body in person are just pure coincidence.

Some day were gonna see a monument in a local Toronto Park dedicated to Lora's ass......

 

[A Quarter Inch Fall]

See, I figured terbies were smart enough to figure out any euphemisms, so I just tell people that I am a fatass with small boobs who just turned 23. LOL Any discrepancies that people find between my honest description and my pictures/body in person are just pure coincidence.

A Quarter Inch Fall endorses this escort based on attitude alone.

 

[alexmst]

It's good to see a post from "The Original Doctor" again.

On the age thing, I will never understand is why escorts or their agencies would advertise a 22 year old as 18 or 19 year old.

You're singing my song Rock.

No reason at all, yet many still do it. Happened to be twice in the past 4 months. If they advertised as 22-23 I may well see them if they are hot, but if they say 19 in the ad and it turns out they are 23 then I am annoyed and do not repeat.

And for those asking "How do you know" because I ask them their age, or else they slip up and say something that gives them away. Example: Girl/agency says she is 19 in ad. I book. In conversation during session: Her: "So, after I got my B.A. I went to Europe for a year and..." Me: "You have a B.A.? At 19?" Her: "Well, er...that was the agency's idea saying 19...I'm really 22, turn 23 in a couple of months..."

 

[alexmst]

"Available 24/7 = my pimp doesn't let me sleep
AD WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS = my pimp can't type
aD wRiTTeN iN mIxED cAsE = my pimp is learning how to type"

ROTFL!

 

[asterwald]

Ill just add: Indian/Pakistani = either black or south American. from personal experience.