Hey guys,
Explanation:
So there's a common understanding or misunderstanding online. Men choose any woman as long as she's somewhat attractive, while women will choose a man because of hypergamy/ success. This tells us that successful men are polyamorous while successful women are hypergamous.
However, in practice, in real life, this seems to be quite different. What I mean is that I had female relatives who chose men who I and many others would objectively rate as "unsuccessful." Likewise, I notice that when women(matchmakers or relatives) pick women that they think I should date, we have nothing in common or there's zero attraction between us. And we wouldn't even work as friends.
Example:
For instance, I once picked a date for a female relative. She asked me about all these guys who she thought I should date. I used to use hypergamy to choose a guy who I thought was both successful and charismatic. I would have been his friend. I thought he had a lot of the markers of success( not just financially but socially, he had many friends and was well-liked in the community.) However, while my female relative did date him for some time, she later said, "He is boring" or "He doesn't make me feel good."
She ended up choosing another guy. Who, objectively, when taking "hypergamy" into account, was something of an unsuccessful type of guy. Note that this was a female relative, so it is not as if I was competing with this guy as to why I didn't like him. Rather, if I look at it objectively, he just seems to be that kind of guy who doesn't have much going on in his life. He seemed more of an "aimless" kind of guy. His band was going nowhere. He worked a stable, boring job, and he was kind of sleezy in that he was trying to get his friends to pay his rent. Not sleezy as in player, but more sleezy as in cheap. But my female relative's reasoning was, "he makes me feel good."
Conclusion:
It's a very interesting topic. But as a whole, the more I've gotten into the whole matchmaking and dating world I have started to see large differences. I am starting to believe that it might be wise to ask a friend to be your matchmaker or pick a date for you. Since they might be able to understand you a bit better.
Explanation:
So there's a common understanding or misunderstanding online. Men choose any woman as long as she's somewhat attractive, while women will choose a man because of hypergamy/ success. This tells us that successful men are polyamorous while successful women are hypergamous.
However, in practice, in real life, this seems to be quite different. What I mean is that I had female relatives who chose men who I and many others would objectively rate as "unsuccessful." Likewise, I notice that when women(matchmakers or relatives) pick women that they think I should date, we have nothing in common or there's zero attraction between us. And we wouldn't even work as friends.
Example:
For instance, I once picked a date for a female relative. She asked me about all these guys who she thought I should date. I used to use hypergamy to choose a guy who I thought was both successful and charismatic. I would have been his friend. I thought he had a lot of the markers of success( not just financially but socially, he had many friends and was well-liked in the community.) However, while my female relative did date him for some time, she later said, "He is boring" or "He doesn't make me feel good."
She ended up choosing another guy. Who, objectively, when taking "hypergamy" into account, was something of an unsuccessful type of guy. Note that this was a female relative, so it is not as if I was competing with this guy as to why I didn't like him. Rather, if I look at it objectively, he just seems to be that kind of guy who doesn't have much going on in his life. He seemed more of an "aimless" kind of guy. His band was going nowhere. He worked a stable, boring job, and he was kind of sleezy in that he was trying to get his friends to pay his rent. Not sleezy as in player, but more sleezy as in cheap. But my female relative's reasoning was, "he makes me feel good."
Conclusion:
It's a very interesting topic. But as a whole, the more I've gotten into the whole matchmaking and dating world I have started to see large differences. I am starting to believe that it might be wise to ask a friend to be your matchmaker or pick a date for you. Since they might be able to understand you a bit better.
