Wedding gift etiquette?

[mandrill]

A female friend of mine is getting married to her dream guy at the end of the month in a small, simple civil ceremony. I'm not exactly a social guy and it has been some time since I have been invited to a wedding.

What sort of gift should I be thinking of for her/ them and how should I present it?

 

[Pencap]

Check to see if they have a registry and pick a gift off of that. That is the easiest. They often wrap it and deliver it, too.

 

[mandrill]

I suspect they might not be registry type people.

 

[bogo]

I find the proverbial check often works, especially when i don't know the couple well. I will also call any mutual friends that may be close to the couple for advice. I have had luck with pottery serving things, like tray with bowls etc.

 

[landscaper]

Money works every time, or a nice gift of some description that relates to them as a couple.

 

[HG Hunter]

The one big thing that makes this decision either very easy or very difficult is whether or not the couple lives together prior to the nuptuals.
This was never a problem in the "old days" because the idea of living together out of wedlock was out of the question. But now, that it's so common, many coouples have lived together and their homes are fully furnished and equipped, thus eliminating many traditional wedding gift ideas.
But as a few have suggested, money usually works.

 

[Malibook]

I suspect they might not be registry type people.

Unless you know them well and know of something that they can use, give cash.

 

[Never Compromised]

Ask the bride where she is registered. I have never known a single bride that did not have a registry. One I know was registered at a travel agency, the idea being the guests pay for the honeymoon.

The idea behind a wedding gift is to give the couple household items that will set them up in their new life. Traditionally, getting married meant leaving Mom and Dad for the first time (other than the few that went to school) which was a huge drain on the finances of a young couple just starting out in life.

Today, with marriages delayed until careers are established or second/third marriages, the tradition of the wedding gift is less "formal". While cash is always welcome, no one is going to look at a $20 bill 30 years from now and think of all the great times they had with you or how that gift reminds them of the "most wonderful day".

Find out where she is registered. If not registered, at least buy some knick knack to give that is lasting, as well as cash in the envelope.

 

[ROGER O. THORNHILL]

I find the proverbial check often works, especially when i don't know the couple well. I will also call any mutual friends that may be close to the couple for advice. I have had luck with pottery serving things, like tray with bowls etc.

Find a tasteful little gift like a nice clock or picture frame from DeBoer's or Bombay. This way it has some kind of class and style. In the card you buy for them (and do buy a card) put a C note or what you think is applicable.

This way you presented a gift, a thought and $. You covered all the bases.

 

[johnhenrygalt]

Anal beads are usually appreciated. If you suspect the groom has a smaller dick, a large vibrator would be nice for the girl.

You can always arrange for a trustworth and fully paid escort to visit them for a wedding night three-some.

 

[fuji]

A subscription to Ashley Madison's?

Serious answer: ask.

If you don't want to ask them directly, ask whoever is doing the planning on their behalf. No doubt there is either a registry, or they will propose suggestions.

 

[Anynym]

Cash, clock, picture frame, kitchen wares have all been suggested above. (Do not give knives.)

You want to avoid items which would need to tie in to their personal tastes (e.g. bedding, towels, etc).

But you can go with nice decorative items which you believe would fit in their style: a crystal vase from Birks or The Bay, a framed print from an art museum or shop, a little figurine of some sort can all be appreciated by most couples and there are good odds that they won't get two of the same.

If you want to go with cash but without the stigma of cash, you can do a gift card (e.g. iTunes, or Sears). Dress it up in a simple picture frame and wrap that up.

 

[mandrill]

Anal beads are usually appreciated. If you suspect the groom has a smaller dick, a large vibrator would be nice for the girl.

Should I ask her directly how large his dick is? Is there a specific etiquette for this? Maybe I should bring 3 different size carrots or wieners to help out in case she has never measured it and has to guess.

For the rest of you, thanks. Someone PM-ed me with the suggestion of a his and her spa package and that sounds a great idea as I am not really comfortable giving $.

 

[K Douglas]

I always give money if I'm going to a wedding (with a reception etc). Stag - usually between $200-$300. With a date add $100. Unless it is a good friend then its my discretion.

Since this is a simple civil ceremony and maybe an impromptu reception afterwards I'd suggest a personal gift in the range of $100-$150.

 

[happydog]

Try to estimate the meal cost and cover that for you and your date. Since it does not sound like a very expensive meal get something extra with the card and cheque. If you are close to the couple put a picture of a day you shared with them in a very nice picture frame or just the couple by themselves. Total $150-200 cash and gift together.

 

[fmahovalich]

Cash is king

YES......You always double the cost of your meal.


So if your going with a date...to a reception hall.....open bar ..where it is likely $80 / head

then figure $80 x2 = 160 (you and guest)

then double it = $320

THEN ROUND UP

$350 should do it.

Another example

Reception at $40 per head

$40 x2 = 80

then double it = $160

THEN ROUND UP

$200 should do it

Just covering the reception meal for you and guest
is really NO GIFT at all. Thats why the doubling etc!![/B]

 

[basketcase]

Registry or Cash (unless you are a fantastic gift selector - and if you were you wouldn't post the question)

 

[CUPID]

http://www.tiffany.ca/Shopping/CategoryBrowse.aspx?cid=288179&mcat=148207

The turquoise boxes at Tiffany is gift of style and it doesn't always cost a fortune. Look at the Altas Crystal Platter - classic and only $165 (page ten of the link above)

 

[hinz]

No more than the cash equivalent for 40-45 mins BS at Allure/HFH/SRM

Any make sure all in $20 freshly minted bills

Less if there're cash bars

 

[Pencap]

YES......You always double the cost of your meal.


So if your going with a date...to a reception hall.....open bar ..where it is likely $80 / head

then figure $80 x2 = 160 (you and guest)

then double it = $320

THEN ROUND UP

$350 should do it.

Another example

Reception at $40 per head

$40 x2 = 80

then double it = $160

THEN ROUND UP

$200 should do it

Just covering the reception meal for you and guest
is really NO GIFT at all. Thats why the doubling etc!![/B]

Yikes. I've heard this rule, too. Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair that people are spending that much on their weddings. They deserve to have whatever ceremony they want, don't get me wrong, but how do they expect someone to come who doesn't have a lot of money?