i am going to apologize in advance, this is going to be long and self-indulgent. Good on you to those of you who make to the end. I am a deviant and I always have been a deviant. I started going to strip clubs when I was 17. Started going to MP's at 19 and graduated to seeing SP's on the regular by 21. I was and still am very short and thin. I was awkward and shy, I couldn't even talk to a girl. I think if some of these incel guys would just see a SP, let a woman be nice to them. maybe then they wouldn't be so angry. Being with women who acted like they were interested gave me an opportunity to practice my game and things got better in the real world. I stopped when I met my wife. I missed it. It's one thing if you have no experience, but once you've tasted, it's hard give up completely. Every few years I would get the craving. I was like a guy who has been off drugs for years and all of a sudden he gets the craving. I could feel it physically and my body would get tight. I would be on edge. I would try to satisfy the craving with more time on here or Pornhub. Yeah, it was turning me on but it was like drinking a Diet Coke, it's not the same thing. I would eventually "give in" and see a lady. Thanks to all of you for your posts. When you are only doing this once every few years, you want top talent.
As to why I am writing this. I got divorced a year ago. A little before Covid I got lazy, I got careless and I got caught. I didn't delete texts. Call me any name you want, I have already called myself them. We were working it out. we were doing couples counselling and I was being good. I work in a big retail place. Covid sucked the soul right out of me. I was angry and depressed all the time. I didn't want to spend time with my wife, I wanted to hideaway, drink and go to my happy place. Terb was my happy place. The thing about being a deviant is you can't tell anyone. You can't have a mind blowing experience with a hot blonde and tell your friends in the real world. No one is going to give you a high five. On Terb, you can be yourself, you can get that high five. Terb is no different than any other fourm. You have your trolls, contributors and lurkers. But the ability to speak freely and openly about your likes and views on sexuality is liberating. I come to Terb to be around my tribe. But even with all the freedom here, I never contributed anything definitive out of fear of it being read. Amongst my peers and still not truly free. The more my depression grew, the more I ran to Terb. With my past history of infidelity, this became an issue with my wife. She wasn't buying the whole "I'm just looking not touching" excuse. It wasn't the only thing that broke us up, but it sure pissed her off. Truth is Terb wasn't the problem, it was the symptom. I was unhappy and not thinking straight. If I had been thinking straight I would have taken it down about 25 percent and stopped pissing her off. It could have been Facebook, Youtube or Reddit. Terb took me to a time when pretty girls said nice things and did things I can't do anymore. That made me happy.
I took some time away after the divorce. I am no longer married. I can speak freely. For the first time in 30 years I can say I am a deviant. What the real world defines as normal is not who I am.
I really don't care if anyone gets to the end. I needed to write this and unburden myself, Thank you to Terb and all of you for the the opportunity to do so.
As to why I am writing this. I got divorced a year ago. A little before Covid I got lazy, I got careless and I got caught. I didn't delete texts. Call me any name you want, I have already called myself them. We were working it out. we were doing couples counselling and I was being good. I work in a big retail place. Covid sucked the soul right out of me. I was angry and depressed all the time. I didn't want to spend time with my wife, I wanted to hideaway, drink and go to my happy place. Terb was my happy place. The thing about being a deviant is you can't tell anyone. You can't have a mind blowing experience with a hot blonde and tell your friends in the real world. No one is going to give you a high five. On Terb, you can be yourself, you can get that high five. Terb is no different than any other fourm. You have your trolls, contributors and lurkers. But the ability to speak freely and openly about your likes and views on sexuality is liberating. I come to Terb to be around my tribe. But even with all the freedom here, I never contributed anything definitive out of fear of it being read. Amongst my peers and still not truly free. The more my depression grew, the more I ran to Terb. With my past history of infidelity, this became an issue with my wife. She wasn't buying the whole "I'm just looking not touching" excuse. It wasn't the only thing that broke us up, but it sure pissed her off. Truth is Terb wasn't the problem, it was the symptom. I was unhappy and not thinking straight. If I had been thinking straight I would have taken it down about 25 percent and stopped pissing her off. It could have been Facebook, Youtube or Reddit. Terb took me to a time when pretty girls said nice things and did things I can't do anymore. That made me happy.
I took some time away after the divorce. I am no longer married. I can speak freely. For the first time in 30 years I can say I am a deviant. What the real world defines as normal is not who I am.
I really don't care if anyone gets to the end. I needed to write this and unburden myself, Thank you to Terb and all of you for the the opportunity to do so.
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you expressed what a lot of gents/ladies feel about this site. Its great to be amongst like minded individuals who share many of the same sentiments as you. Its actually quite liberating and a great escape. So glad i found terb many years ago and joined.
