Women are Simple Animals

[Don Draper]

I have to share this.

Tonight at 8:47pm (I checked my phone) I got a text from a previous pseudo relationship I had in 2017.

Texting led to a call and a conversation. I said: "I'll pick you up in less than 30 minutes and I'll bring you to my place".

We got here, had half a bottle of wine and she was in bed with me, naked horny and happy.

Before she went to sleep, I asked her : "why did you call me now?".

She answered: "I'm a simple woman. You fucked me so well. I still want it."

So, if there is that girl at work/friends/friend of a friend/server/ acquaintance/whatever...fuck her well.

Fuck her for 2 or 3 hours. Fuck her until she says: "no more!"

Even if you think she's gone. She's not.

She's sleeping in my bed now as I type this. This is a lesson often learned.

 

[xix]

What the Crack?
Get back in there for round two for the rest of the team. Remember someone has to take a hit for the team.

Man drink up and get back in.
Your finger should not be feeling the cold plastic keyboard.

 

[Tomoreno]

We got here, had half a bottle of wine

C'mon... two of you had half a bottle? Of wine? And she says "You fucked me so well. I still want it."?

And she's passed out from all the fucking while you write romance novels laying beside her?

I think someone had a bottle of cognac and is wishful thinking

 

[Goodoer]

I think the real lesson to be learned is that it is important to be the first one to respond to a woman’s text... Early bird gets the worm.

 

[lessjamie7]

I have to share this.

Tonight at 8:47pm (I checked my phone) I got a text from a previous pseudo relationship I had in 2017.

Texting led to a call and a conversation. I said: "I'll pick you up in less than 30 minutes and I'll bring you to my place".

We got here, had half a bottle of wine and she was in bed with me, naked horny and happy.

Before she went to sleep, I asked her : "why did you call me now?".

She answered: "I'm a simple woman. You fucked me so well. I still want it."

So, if there is that girl at work/friends/friend of a friend/server/ acquaintance/whatever...fuck her well.

Fuck her for 2 or 3 hours. Fuck her until she says: "no more!"

Even if you think she's gone. She's not.

She's sleeping in my bed now as I type this. This is a lesson often learned.

OMG, Covid is preferable to this.

Barf bag, please.

Carlton cards are hiring.

LJ

 

[wazup]

Dear penthouse

 

[JeanGary Diablo]

Dear penthouse

I've not picked up a copy of Penthouse in ages. I wonder if guys still write stories about their masturbatory fantasies and send them to Penthouse, passing them off as "yeah, this REALLY happened to me!"?

 

[Valcazar]

Whatever you may think of the story - "You were a good fuck" is a fine thing for someone to remember about you. (Man or woman or other)

 

[wazup]

I've not picked up a copy of Penthouse in ages. I wonder if guys still write stories about their masturbatory fantasies and send them to Penthouse, passing them off as "yeah, this REALLY happened to me!"?

Yes I still do......I mean yes they still do

 

[Don Draper]

OMG, Covid is preferable to this.

Barf bag, please.

Carlton cards are hiring.

LJ

Haters gonna hate. Nothing new about that.

Old as time itself.

 

[jcpro]

Oh, come now. Give the guy a break. Who is among us who didn't bang an ex or two? And when she shows up at your door you can meet her in only a towel, a glass of Scotch and a cigar. Just like a SP and you don't have to pay her. The down side is she'll stay for breakfast, bitch about the cigar smoke and remind you about that time you dissed her mother or made out with her blond, tall cousin she always felt so threatened with. We pay either way...

 

[JuanGoodman]

Did she give you a discount for an overnight rate or did you pay the full price?

 

[Insidious Von]

As Foghorn Leghorn said, "fortunately I keep a bottle of Southern Comfort around for just such an emergency".

Don't like cognac, sissy Frenchie drink. But I'm happy for Don, he's gettin the ol poke and stroke mojo workin. Mongo like Chopin...never met a woman who's eyes don't dilate when they hear this.

 

[lessjamie7]

Haters gonna hate. Nothing new about that.

Old as time itself.

Nausea isn't hatred.

Labelers gonna label. Nothing new about that.

Old as time itself.

LJ

 

[xix]

Oh, come now. Give the guy a break. Who is among us who didn't bang an ex or two? And when she shows up at your door you can meet her in only a towel, a glass of Scotch and a cigar. Just like a SP and you don't have to pay her. The down side is she'll stay for breakfast, bitch about the cigar smoke and remind you about that time you dissed her mother or made out with her blond, tall cousin she always felt so threatened with. We pay either way...

Someone writes to Penthouse.

 

[y2kmark]

Haters gonna hate. Nothing new about that.

Old as time itself.

Bullshitters gotta bullshit, and I'm not sure what cockscombs are supposed to do

 

[Insidious Von]

I'll take a dram of Lagavulin over a snifter ohhhh of Courvoisier 365 days.

 

[Insidious Von]

Of course if you play the Aeolian Harp and her eyes don't dilate then...

 

[Vermeer27]

Only on Terb is a man having non-transactional sex a subject of controversy and debate. This too, is as old as time itself.
And if wonen are simple creatures, I think one can safely assume men are too.

 

[Jenesis]

I thought we were humans. Not animals. Creatures maybe, mammals even if you like but seriously buddy, if you are fuckin female animals - something is wrong.