Death - can you talk about it openly or does it freak you out?

[Jenesis]

A lot of people put off doing their will because they don’t like talking about death or the people they will be leaving things too don’t want to think of their loved one passing on.

I, on the other hand, have no problem talking about my death and often refer to what life will be like when I am gone. What I have planned for people when I am gone. I work hard to maintain really good loving and healthy relationships so there is nothing left “unsaid” in case I die in a car accident on my way from Mississauga right now. (Side note - talk about strange foreshadowing if it actually happened. You all have my permission to chuckle at the irony if it does)

So how are you in regards to talking about death? Can you talk about yours and not others? Can you not talk about it at all? Want it the furthest thing from your mind? Do you have a will and keep it updated? Pre-planned funeral?

Odd topic I know but I read something that triggered this thought process and you all know me - I gotta bring it here so let’s discuss.

 

[dognutz]

I'm more afraid of being maimed or disfigured (burned) than I am of dying. Not sure if I could even handle being paralyzed. I update my will yearly and I'm not really near the typical old age death number. Anyone who has any type of assets regardless of age should have a will.

I had an acquaintance unexpectedly die in his mid 30s. His estate was a mess. His ex girlfriend was in his will and she wanted what he left her, he never updated it. This guy had a wife and kid at the time and she still wanted something.

 

[xix]

I'm more afraid of being maimed or disfigured (burned) than I am of dying. Not sure if I could even handle being paralyzed. I update my will yearly and I'm not really near the typical old age death number. Anyone who has any type of assets regardless of age should have a will.

I had an acquaintance unexpectedly die in his mid 30s. His estate was a mess. His ex girlfriend was in his will and she wanted what he left her, he never updated it. This guy had a wife and kid at the time and she still wanted something.

Here is the part I don't understand about wills. The Lawyer. I heard different versions and I guess it depends on the lawyer.
One story the lawyer if client wants to update, lawyer says new price as new.
Second story lawyer if client wants to update, lawyer says update, revise or adaption price.

Meaning hypothetical prices NEW = 1,000 then update, revise or adaption price = 200-300.

Am I wrong about this?
What happens if you switch lawyers because lawyer retired?

 

[jeff2]

It looks like a huge amount of people will check out via MAID(medical assistance in dying) in the future. Who wants to hang around until the bitter end?

 

[amir.here]

Death is awesome, really. It's ongoing suffering that I fear and poverty!

 

[Adamxx]

Here is the part I don't understand about wills. The Lawyer. I heard different versions and I guess it depends on the lawyer.
One story the lawyer if client wants to update, lawyer says new price as new.
Second story lawyer if client wants to update, lawyer says update, revise or adaption price.

Meaning hypothetical prices NEW = 1,000 then update, revise or adaption price = 200-300.

Am I wrong about this?
What happens if you switch lawyers because lawyer retired?

Once you think you have a good will, from a lawyer. If a revision is necessary, just update yourself and get the signatures from people uoi know. Best approach is to take the hard copy and make a soft copy word for word, if the lawyer did not provide one. As most dont.

As it is not necessary for one to be registered or done by a lawyer.

 

[Adamxx]

From my experience, if not discussed with the family and possible stakeholders, there is a high risk that all value established for your love ones would not be reach those who you would like to benefit from your efforts. Not to mention internal conflicts.

 

[dsc]

Families always get along until someone wins the lottery or someone dies.

 

[Erosboy]

Just put my mom in a hospice last month so this is very timely for me. The first few times you have honest conversations about death it's uncomfortable but it's easier with practice and time. And doing it openly with someone who is open to the talk to makes it way easier.

I've come to believe death is part of life so why not just talk about it. It's made me mentally healthier as my parents' health has declined.

 

[Erosboy]

Families always get along until someone wins the lottery or someone dies.

And often those are the same thing if there's a sizeable estate.

 

[xix]

And often those are the same thing if there's a sizeable estate.

Where I am from it is not the size that matter. It is whether or not you can grab it from departed kids -( no matter what age) - it is all about the pleasure.

 

[LTO_3]

My immediate family has had this discussion a few times over many years. And I've done the same in the last few years. As for the will, make certain you designate POA(s) and the executor(s).
As for updating costs that may depend on the time of revision and the lawyer. I updated my will, with the same lawyer about 10-12 years ago and it cost me more than my original will, even though the changes were minor modifications.
And if your lawyer retires the will is still a valid, legal document unless you need to update it...with another lawyer.

LTO_3

 

[thirdcup]

I'm not afraid of dying. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

 

[kherg007]

No longer fearing death is the biggest step forward. Once you've been face to face and somehow got out, being on bonus time is liberating. You can even joke about it. But that tends to apply to just yourself or inner circle.

 

[IM469]

The best answer I heard about what happens when you die was an answer Keanu Reeves gave : ' I know that the ones who love us will miss us.'

Personally, my understanding is that I came from non-existence /darkness. I look at it like a day of sunlight on an infinite spinning earth. A shit load of history happened that I wasn't aware of in the darkness before the dawn of my existence. Dawn and light marks my start of life. I am a part of the history that happens that day of sunlight. Eventually as the earth enviably turns, evening comes and the sun sets.. Darkness sets in, my life ends and history continues without me.

For those that have some last minute doorway to escape death's inevitability - if it helps you deal with the present, I won't interfere. I live life as this is a one time ticket. If I am wrong - hey I win a bonus round.

 

[NotTheCatThatYouLike]

Nope, I don't afraid of death and can talk about it with no issues. As long as death is fast and painless I am ok with it, I think I have experienced most of the available things in live anyway. I just hope that after my death I will be reborn as a cute Asian girl with a nice ass and feet

 

[redshank]

 

[curvluvr]

I have no problem about talking about or making preparations for when I'm gone. And I have no issues telling loved ones about it. You're just doing your family a favour by doing so.
And I have a will in place. (PSA - I'm no lawyer, but if you have dependants, get a proper will done. No napkin wills. And verbal wills are worthless. If it's not in writing, it doesn't exist!!!)

I have known superstitious people who don't even want to bring up the topic of wills, death, power or attorney, executors, etc., because they think it will bring death sooner. They're really doing their future survivors a disservice by leaving everything hanging.

When my dad was still alive, he entered all of his critical information such as bank account numbers, investment details, safety deposit box location, and even the contact information for the cemetary from which he already pre-purchased a plot and headstone, and he even prepaid the engraving of his headstone for when he passed.
One of the smartest things he did. This made it so much easier after he passed.

 

[Jenesis]

No longer fearing death is the biggest step forward. Once you've been face to face and somehow got out, being on bonus time is liberating. You can even joke about it. But that tends to apply to just yourself or inner circle.

That is me to a T

 

[Jenesis]

I have done this. We knew with my mum before hand so when we planned for her, I planned for me. I update my death letter to my brat yearly with changes passcodes and stuff to the devices and sites and shit.

.

When my dad was still alive, he entered all of his critical information such as bank account numbers, investment details, safety deposit box location, and even the contact information for the cemetary from which he already pre-purchased a plot and headstone, and he even prepaid the engraving of his headstone for when he passed.
One of the smartest things he did. This made it so much easier after he passed.