Is it possible for a provider to develop feelings for a client?

[massman]

I would say yes but rarely act on it. I think you have to think beyond this and actually see the big picture if ever it happens. Might cool you down a bit.

First you will go through the same stigmatization we do with your friends and familly. While we are a community here, your loved ones will not necessarily be approving. Your friend might laugh at you because you are a guy that is in a relationship with a girl who sleeps with everyone. Question your manly hood and ridicule you behind your back. Some might straight up stop talking to you. Forget about her meeting your fam if thats the case. It wouldn't be nice to do that to her.

Second, you will go to work everyday thinking about what she is doing or worst if something is going to happen to her.

Third, depending on the boundaries you establish you will ear the bad stories or simply seeing her being spoiled by another man. You will be angry and and helpless when something happen to her.

Fourth, the alleged sexual realm. You will absolutely not have a relationship with constant sex and discoveries. Maybe at the beginning but at the end of the days relationship fades and connection take over. Some morning you will wake up horny but she needs to go to work have sex with other men and wont help you out all the time.

You need to be a special type of guys to be with an escort imo. Personally, I wouldn't act on any feelings because I did in the past as a baby escort and know where it goes and at the end of the day you gave it up for free and the discount you gave will be apply on another women the minute you are lacking....are we deserving of love? Yes absolutely. But very few can provide it properly to us.

Food for thought.

Ps. I didn't read the rest of the thread so if I repeat something sorry

Thoughtful and well-written response to the question. Thanks @Josephine. I agree it takes a unique person to be in a relationship with a SW, and very few guys have what it takes.

 

[Josephine]

Thoughtful and well-written response to the question. Thanks @Josephine. I agree it takes a unique person to be in a relationship with a SW, and very few guys have what it takes.

Thank you! People see being with sw like a walk in the park with access to an endless sexual realm but its not that easy

🫶🫶🫶

 

[massman]

Thank you! People see being with sw like a walk in the park with access to an endless sexual realm but its not that easy

🫶🫶🫶

In heterosexual relationships, sexual frequency/ desire is often a flashpoint / source of conflict. Like you said above, guy would have to have an iron clad self confidence and a tremendous ability to compartmentalize to deal with a mismatch in sexual wants / needs at home, knowing what she’s doing for work. Not impossible, and I’ve known SWs who have been in good stable long term relationships, but most don’t have the ability to navigate this. Kudos to the guys that are open minded and confident enough to handle this.

 

[Daddy2021]

Completely agree in the case where your man has an iron clad self confidence, is very head leveled and have an entourage that is understanding. Lets face it, it is kind of rare and you were very lucky.

Also clients are clients but unfortunately in my case, I actually reached orgadm with some of them (shameful I know) so I have a hard time telling my partners "its just a job". I rather say "hey, here what might/could happen if we get together. Now take a decision". At then end of the day I am what I am and he has to deal with it just like I do. And thats good for clients or non clients but especially non clients because they dont know.

QUOTE="massman, post: 9185311, member: 874"]
In heterosexual relationships, sexual frequency/ desire is often a flashpoint / source of conflict. Like you said above, guy would have to have an iron clad self confidence and a tremendous ability to compartmentalize to deal with a mismatch in sexual wants / needs at home, knowing what she’s doing for work. Not impossible, and I’ve known SWs who have been in good stable long term relationships, but most don’t have the ability to navigate this. Kudos to the guys that are open minded and confident enough to handle this.
[/QUOTE]
I think it could be easier for a guy to accept sw in a relationship is to remind themselves that there most likely is zero desire for the client from the sp. they don’t want to have intimate relations with us. They are paid to. It’s a job. I’m sure friendship for some regulars as far as a friendship can go under the circumstances.

 

[Muchadoaboutnothing]

Hi Luna, first of all I have to give you a compliment. You write very well. In my opinion, this hobby is very tough for guys who aren't wealthy. A guy can save $400/hr over a couple of months, and get to be with an attractive SP. The problem is the guy feels a lot of pressure to perform, especially if he's not married or in a relationship, or not even dating. Therefore, he's not used to being around a woman, especially, an attractive one. Therefore, I can see why some guys might get clingy with an sp, as they don't know any better.

I guess the point of my post, is to illustrate things from a guy's prospective. On the one hand this hobby gives you hope, if you can cobble together $400/hr. A guy can be unemployed and still see an SP, if he can come up with the $400. On the other hand, once the hour is over, he's back to square one.

The intention still Should not be to get her to leave the industry

 

[Muchadoaboutnothing]

QUOTE="massman, post: 9185311, member: 874"]
In heterosexual relationships, sexual frequency/ desire is often a flashpoint / source of conflict. Like you said above, guy would have to have an iron clad self confidence and a tremendous ability to compartmentalize to deal with a mismatch in sexual wants / needs at home, knowing what she’s doing for work. Not impossible, and I’ve known SWs who have been in good stable long term relationships, but most don’t have the ability to navigate this. Kudos to the guys that are open minded and confident enough to handle this.

I think it could be easier for a guy to accept sw in a relationship is to remind themselves that there most likely is zero desire for the client from the sp. they don’t want to have intimate relations with us. They are paid to. It’s a job. I’m sure friendship for some regulars as far as a friendship can go under the circumstances.
[/QUOTE]
This isn’t true. There can be physical desire and also mental desire but true that there isn’t quite a desire to leave the relationship for the client

 

[Valcazar]

That's what I think, too. So many guys victimize themselves. Sometimes you need to look at your role in a certain dynamic.. Providers have the choice to keep seeing their regulars or not. This whole thing is about consent, and it's possible for a provider to decide that her relationship with a client isn't working for her anymore. I understand that it's hurtful, and I myself feel sad when clients stop seeing me.. but personally when I have decided to not see a client again, there was a very good reason for it. I usually try to discuss things with him beforehand, because sometimes there are misunderstandings and nobody is perfect.. But I think that if a provider has the ability to choose her clients, why would she force herself to keep seeing someone that she doesn't feel comfortable around anymore? As a client would you prefer if the provider just keeps seeing you even if she really doesn't like her time with you? Sometimes it's just not a good match, and it's nobody's fault. There are clients I really like, that other providers don't feel comfortable with, and vice versa.

The problem is that lots of people are very bad at consent.
Especially in a situation that has anything complicated at all about the power dynamics involved.

Everything you've been saying in this thread is true, but I honestly think lots of people have a very hard time stepping back and grasping that.

Just see how many people think something along the lines of "the golden rule is he who has the gold makes the rules".

 

[Valcazar]

I’m kinda baffled that a sizeable portion of client actually expect emotional stimulation from escorts

The emotional labour has always a been a major part of sex work.
That's what a lot of the clients are paying for.
There are certainly people who are just there for the mechanics of orgasm, but I would say it is a small minority.
(And there are some who are paying for nothing but arm candy while being seen out with the escort, but don't expect to interact with them otherwise. I suspect that is also an extremely small minority.)

 

[Valcazar]

I think you guys have to understand that it's not because we don't want to be in a romantic relationship with clients that we don't care about them. The fact that I need to be compensated for the work I do for my clients doesn't negate the positive relationships I develop with them.

Amazingly, some people can understand this about a favourite bartender, but not an escort.
There are bartenders or baristas or wait staff who are generally fond of you because you are a good client, but they would still expect to be paid for their work and they still don't want to be in a romantic relationship with you.

 

[Daddy2021]

I think it could be easier for a guy to accept sw in a relationship is to remind themselves that there most likely is zero desire for the client from the sp. they don’t want to have intimate relations with us. They are paid to. It’s a job. I’m sure friendship for some regulars as far as a friendship can go under the circumstances.

This isn’t true. There can be physical desire and also mental desire but true that there isn’t quite a desire to leave the relationship for the client
[/QUOTE]
I think I would rather hear from an sp regarding if they desire a client (I’m sure it can happen but very unlikely ) and not from a client perspective who run with the delusion that the sp desires them. I don’t think we can speak for the other side. I have my doubts though. I’m not saying it can’t ever happen, if it does it’s a very small percentage.

 

[Trevor Wong]

Two possible ways a provider can develop feelings for a client. 1. If the Client is in his 20's, fucks well, has a good body, and has a big dick. 2. If the client is single or divorced, and is a rich lawyer, doctor, or accountant.

These two types of clients aren't the typical clients that SP's see, so the provider might develop extra, special feelings for these type of clients.

 

[iceberglemon]

Two possible ways a provider can develop feelings for a client. 1. If the Client is in his 20's, fucks well, has a good body, and has a big dick. 2. If the client is single or divorced, and is a rich lawyer, doctor, or accountant.

These two types of clients aren't the typical clients that SP's see, so the provider might develop extra, special feelings for these type of clients.

How about 3. If the client is simply a genuine, nice guy with an uncanny knack for making the SP feel happy?

 

[Trevor Wong]

How about 3. If the client is simply a genuine, nice guy with an uncanny knack for making the SP feel happy?

In my opinion, number 3 won't cut it. A lot of the SP's clients are like number 3.

 

[iceberglemon]

This is kind of a long one so get comfortable. No I will not be saying who this was for obvious reasons.

I did exactly what I wasn't supposed to do, and what I said I wouldn't do. I fell for someone I was seeing regularly.

Now to be fair to myself here I know the feeling was mutual to a degree. To what degree? I don't know, and at this point I may never know, and I'll likely just have to live with that.

To set the stage a little, I only started hobbying about 4-5 months ago, and for the first 2 months I saw a different person pretty much every week aside from a single repeat. That was pretty much what I planned to do while doing this since I was in a relationship when I started. My partner knew, but we had a don't ask don't tell agreement about it. This was working.... until I met her.

Now as weird as this may sound my hobbying never really felt like cheating before I met the person I caught feelings for. Not only because my partner and I had an agreement about it, but also because it never felt like there was much of an emotional component to this for me anyway. That changed immediately upon meeting her. My relationship had already been on the rocks, for reasons besides this, but meeting her really put the final nail in that coffin, because our dynamic absolutely felt like cheating. So I did what I had been considering for a long time at that point, and ended my relationship. Not to pursue this, that wasn't the plan, but because this gave me a glimpse of how much better intimacy could be, and showed me what my relationship lacked or lost.

Her and I hit it off instantly. I joked to my friends, who I talk to about my hobbying regularly, that it's as if she was created in a lab for the express purpose of ticking every single one of my boxes. Her personality was exactly my type, and physically I'm not sure I've ever been more attracted to any other person in my entire life. The second I opened that condo door for the first time I knew I was cooked, and that I was about to give her a lot of money.

We had fantastic sexual chemistry, conversation was effortless, we had the same interests, and right from the jump everything with her just felt comfortable. So comfortable in fact that within less than 24 hours of us meeting for the first time, without me even asking, she offered to start blocking off time in her schedule for me every week so that I didn't have to fight for a spot. For the next month we would message back and forth nearly every day, multiple times a day, with topics ranging from games, to our day jobs, to our personal relationships, to her venting to me about some of her other clients (no names or personal details don't worry) or aspects of the job she didn't like. I started seeing her exclusively, at least once a week, and that's really where I think the trouble started.

Every single week for the next 3 months she'd either block off whatever time I wanted for me, or see me independently even if she wasn't working agency that week. We'd often go over our payed time by as much as 40 minutes sometimes just talking and enjoying each other's company. She'd tell me about the messages she'd get from guys who were frustrated they could never seem to book her first appointment of the day, and we'd have a bit of a laugh about it. She'd tell me about the guys she's banned or was thinking of banning, about the things that frustrated her about the agency, etc.

It got to the point where we knew each other's full legal names, first and last, and we dropped the use of our agency names entirely. We became friends who knew each other intimately, not just physically but emotionally as well. It was an odd friendship, but it worked. She told me about her past relationship and family trauma, I told her about mine. We bonded over our shared lived experiences and interests. We knew what each other's day jobs were and our full work schedules so we could coordinate better. She'd text me while she was working an agency shift to pass the time between clients, and she'd tell me about the weird people or things she experienced on shift. I was the only person she had to talk to about this work, because nobody in her regular life knew she did this. I think I became someone she relied on for support. We got too close. In fact there was a span of at least 4 weeks where I was the only person she slept with, professionally or otherwise, because she wasn't taking agency shifts and I was the only person she saw independently at the time.

Before I knew it I had developed romantic feelings for her, even though I really tried not to, and kept lying to myself about it. Eventually we had a conversation about it during an indy appointment, because we honestly really had to at that point. That conversation went about as well as it possibly could have, because even though what we landed on wasn't what I wanted, I knew it was what was best. I just ended a 5.5 year relationship with someone who still lived with me while they sorted out other arrangements, and she wasn't looking for anything romantic right now, even before she started doing this, and the fact that she was doing this was reason enough not to pursue anything. Neither of us was in a place that would allow us to explore this. I was disappointed, but I knew that was the right call. We made sure we didn't close the door to anything possibly in the future however, and I left that conversation feeling fairly positive honestly.

Now, if I was a smarter man, I would have taken a break from seeing her after that conversation, or at least not continued to see exclusively her. I didn't do that because I'm not a smart man. I never gave my brain the space it needed to move on from the feelings I had for her. So not only did they not subside, but they continued to grow. We had talked about seeing each other outside of appointments a number of times, either in person or online (we both play multiplayer games of the same genre), and I just couldn't let go of the idea. I told myself I just wanted to be friends with her, but I know now that I was lying to myself about that.

I didn't intend to, nobody ever does, but I kept bringing up the idea of seeing each other as friends when I saw her. To the point where I'd say I was being pushy or insistent about it. I'm not going to make excuses for that, I fucked up. Our communication slowed down significantly. We'd still talk, but less than before, and I started hearing from her less every week in-between appointments. I had become the exact type of client she would talk to me about, and it took me too long to realize that.

The last time I saw her she came into the room very obviously stressed, more than I'd ever seen before from her, and I knew all the reasons why. She had a lot going on, and she was about to take a several week long break from this. I apologized for how I'd been acting. I wrote down exactly what I wanted to say so I wouldn't fuck it up. I took ownership of my actions without making excuses. I apologized for becoming the type of client that frustrated her, and I thanked her for continuing to have patience for me despite that. I honestly can't believe she kept seeing me for as long as she did in the way that she did with all this in mind. Even up to that point she had continued to block off time for me, or make time for me when she wasn't on schedule.

After I said my piece I immediately noticed a positive change in her demeanor. This was something that had been bothering her for a while at this point. She told me that she had felt like she lost the person she had come to rely on for support, and that it really hurt that I'd become the exact type of client she used to talk to me about. She had been under a lot of stress lately due to things in her person life, and I knew that because she'd talk to me about these things as a friend, so the fact that I had become another thing to stress about made that even worse. The rest of the evening was possibly the best time we ever spent together.

She was only supposed to see me for an hour that night, but she was there for almost 2. We just talked, and held each other. We didn't even do anything sexual for the first time, and I honestly didn't want to. That night I just wanted to be there for her because I could tell she needed that, and I was, in a way that I hadn't been for a while. I've never in my life had a girl hang onto me like that and not known for a fact that she was seeking comfort in me, so that's all I wanted to be for her. It would have felt wrong to me if I tried too push for anything else. She was tired, and stressed, and overwhelmed, and honestly a little bit manic when she came in. She left that night very obviously in a better mood than she came in, and I left feeling like things between us were going to be ok again.

I told her that night that if she needed a complete break from all this for a few weeks while she was on hiatus that I'd understand if she didn't want to communicate during that. She reassured me multiple times that wasn't the case, and that we'd talk more while she was away. I asked her to text me when she was home safe because she was really tired and she did. That was over 2 weeks ago, it was the last time I heard from her, and I don't know why. I may never know why at this point and that really hurts.

I'd love to say that I left things at that, but I didn't. I didn't send her a million messages begging for attention or anything, but I did send probably 1 or 2 more than I should have. Nothing crazy or pushy thankfully, just stuff like I hope the thing she was taking a break to do went well, and checking in to see if she was feeling better or if the things she was stressed about were getting resolved. I feel like if I had just been patient enough to wait for a response after the first message I sent her that I probably would have heard from her, even if it had taken some time. Despite all my talk that night I just couldn't leave this alone, and I'll have to live with that mistake.

It feels weird to mourn the loss of something that never truly was in the first place, but the lack of closure makes it really hard to close the book on this for me mentally. I've since gone to see other people, but all that did was make me miss the effortless chemistry and emotional intimacy we had. I miss her, a lot, but if I never hear from her again I'll only have myself to blame for that. I would want her to make the right call for herself, even if I'm honestly really hurting right now and don't think that'll stop for a while. I genuinely just hope she's doing ok because I really do care about her, but part of caring for someone has to be letting that person go and respecting their decision to leave.

Maybe she just decided she needed a full break after all, and maybe I'm overreacting. She's still not on schedule this week, so it's not like all hope is lost, but I'm trying to prepare myself for if/when that happens. She had a really big impact on me in a very short amount of time, in a way very few people have. She showed me an example of what I'm looking for when it comes to intimacy with another person. She pushed me to be a better and more authentic version of myself at a time in my life when I felt lost. I don't regret a single second or dollar I spent on seeing her.

This really meant something to me, she really meant something to me, and I'm really hurting right now. I'll always regret that I couldn't be better about this in the way that she needed me to be, and the ways in which I let her down. I wish I had met her when I was in a better place mentally, or in a different context, but honestly I'm just glad I got to meet her at all. She's amazing, and I hope she finds happiness even if I'm not around to see it.

I'm never going to forget her, or the time we spent together, and I don't want to.

Your story resonated… to think that you only started hobbying 4-5 months ago! Seems like you’ve lived through quite a bit, what with ending your previous relationship and starting this new one.

I do think you are possibly overreacting and I’d almost be willing to wager you will have a chance to communicate with this SP again. Let time do its thing - I know, easier said than done - and no matter what, don’t issue any ultimatums.

Respect the person, honor the time you spent together, and live with the fact that you will not be moving on any time soon.

 

[kherg007]

Two possible ways a provider can develop feelings for a client. 1. If the Client is in his 20's, fucks well, has a good body, and has a big dick. 2. If the client is single or divorced, and is a rich lawyer, doctor, or accountant.

These two types of clients aren't the typical clients that SP's see, so the provider might develop extra, special feelings for these type of clients.

Fair dinkum Trev you seem quite jaded mate. But I reckon I know why and how it happens. My signature below keeps me on the right side of enjoying their company, even though it did cross over once. But as mentioned by @iceberglemon, some lads just make the lady feel better about herself but it's not as common as one would hope. I've heard so many stories of the entitled clients, or the clients who feel they "own" her body for the duration of the booking, or the negotiators or the shower averse, or the very ordinary or even below ordinary looking bloke being so hyper judgemental about not just her character but every nuance of her body. Can anyone imagine a terb discussion on the appearance of their arsehole and whether it's an innie or an outie?
So when a kind, classy, confident guy makes her feel attractive and appreciated and gently loves her up - yes, they're prized.
But once again, keep a sense of perspective, and check out my signature...

 

[MiguelRojas]

This is kind of a long one so get comfortable. No I will not be saying who this was for obvious reasons.

I did exactly what I wasn't supposed to do, and what I said I wouldn't do. I fell for someone I was seeing regularly.

Now to be fair to myself here I know the feeling was mutual to a degree. To what degree? I don't know, and at this point I may never know, and I'll likely just have to live with that.

To set the stage a little, I only started hobbying about 4-5 months ago, and for the first 2 months I saw a different person pretty much every week aside from a single repeat. That was pretty much what I planned to do while doing this since I was in a relationship when I started. My partner knew, but we had a don't ask don't tell agreement about it. This was working.... until I met her.

Now as weird as this may sound my hobbying never really felt like cheating before I met the person I caught feelings for. Not only because my partner and I had an agreement about it, but also because it never felt like there was much of an emotional component to this for me anyway. That changed immediately upon meeting her. My relationship had already been on the rocks, for reasons besides this, but meeting her really put the final nail in that coffin, because our dynamic absolutely felt like cheating. So I did what I had been considering for a long time at that point, and ended my relationship. Not to pursue this, that wasn't the plan, but because this gave me a glimpse of how much better intimacy could be, and showed me what my relationship lacked or lost.

Her and I hit it off instantly. I joked to my friends, who I talk to about my hobbying regularly, that it's as if she was created in a lab for the express purpose of ticking every single one of my boxes. Her personality was exactly my type, and physically I'm not sure I've ever been more attracted to any other person in my entire life. The second I opened that condo door for the first time I knew I was cooked, and that I was about to give her a lot of money.

We had fantastic sexual chemistry, conversation was effortless, we had the same interests, and right from the jump everything with her just felt comfortable. So comfortable in fact that within less than 24 hours of us meeting for the first time, without me even asking, she offered to start blocking off time in her schedule for me every week so that I didn't have to fight for a spot. For the next month we would message back and forth nearly every day, multiple times a day, with topics ranging from games, to our day jobs, to our personal relationships, to her venting to me about some of her other clients (no names or personal details don't worry) or aspects of the job she didn't like. I started seeing her exclusively, at least once a week, and that's really where I think the trouble started.

Every single week for the next 3 months she'd either block off whatever time I wanted for me, or see me independently even if she wasn't working agency that week. We'd often go over our payed time by as much as 40 minutes sometimes just talking and enjoying each other's company. She'd tell me about the messages she'd get from guys who were frustrated they could never seem to book her first appointment of the day, and we'd have a bit of a laugh about it. She'd tell me about the guys she's banned or was thinking of banning, about the things that frustrated her about the agency, etc.

It got to the point where we knew each other's full legal names, first and last, and we dropped the use of our agency names entirely. We became friends who knew each other intimately, not just physically but emotionally as well. It was an odd friendship, but it worked. She told me about her past relationship and family trauma, I told her about mine. We bonded over our shared lived experiences and interests. We knew what each other's day jobs were and our full work schedules so we could coordinate better. She'd text me while she was working an agency shift to pass the time between clients, and she'd tell me about the weird people or things she experienced on shift. I was the only person she had to talk to about this work, because nobody in her regular life knew she did this. I think I became someone she relied on for support. We got too close. In fact there was a span of at least 4 weeks where I was the only person she slept with, professionally or otherwise, because she wasn't taking agency shifts and I was the only person she saw independently at the time.

Before I knew it I had developed romantic feelings for her, even though I really tried not to, and kept lying to myself about it. Eventually we had a conversation about it during an indy appointment, because we honestly really had to at that point. That conversation went about as well as it possibly could have, because even though what we landed on wasn't what I wanted, I knew it was what was best. I just ended a 5.5 year relationship with someone who still lived with me while they sorted out other arrangements, and she wasn't looking for anything romantic right now, even before she started doing this, and the fact that she was doing this was reason enough not to pursue anything. Neither of us was in a place that would allow us to explore this. I was disappointed, but I knew that was the right call. We made sure we didn't close the door to anything possibly in the future however, and I left that conversation feeling fairly positive honestly.

Now, if I was a smarter man, I would have taken a break from seeing her after that conversation, or at least not continued to see exclusively her. I didn't do that because I'm not a smart man. I never gave my brain the space it needed to move on from the feelings I had for her. So not only did they not subside, but they continued to grow. We had talked about seeing each other outside of appointments a number of times, either in person or online (we both play multiplayer games of the same genre), and I just couldn't let go of the idea. I told myself I just wanted to be friends with her, but I know now that I was lying to myself about that.

I didn't intend to, nobody ever does, but I kept bringing up the idea of seeing each other as friends when I saw her. To the point where I'd say I was being pushy or insistent about it. I'm not going to make excuses for that, I fucked up. Our communication slowed down significantly. We'd still talk, but less than before, and I started hearing from her less every week in-between appointments. I had become the exact type of client she would talk to me about, and it took me too long to realize that.

The last time I saw her she came into the room very obviously stressed, more than I'd ever seen before from her, and I knew all the reasons why. She had a lot going on, and she was about to take a several week long break from this. I apologized for how I'd been acting. I wrote down exactly what I wanted to say so I wouldn't fuck it up. I took ownership of my actions without making excuses. I apologized for becoming the type of client that frustrated her, and I thanked her for continuing to have patience for me despite that. I honestly can't believe she kept seeing me for as long as she did in the way that she did with all this in mind. Even up to that point she had continued to block off time for me, or make time for me when she wasn't on schedule.

After I said my piece I immediately noticed a positive change in her demeanor. This was something that had been bothering her for a while at this point. She told me that she had felt like she lost the person she had come to rely on for support, and that it really hurt that I'd become the exact type of client she used to talk to me about. She had been under a lot of stress lately due to things in her person life, and I knew that because she'd talk to me about these things as a friend, so the fact that I had become another thing to stress about made that even worse. The rest of the evening was possibly the best time we ever spent together.

She was only supposed to see me for an hour that night, but she was there for almost 2. We just talked, and held each other. We didn't even do anything sexual for the first time, and I honestly didn't want to. That night I just wanted to be there for her because I could tell she needed that, and I was, in a way that I hadn't been for a while. I've never in my life had a girl hang onto me like that and not known for a fact that she was seeking comfort in me, so that's all I wanted to be for her. It would have felt wrong to me if I tried too push for anything else. She was tired, and stressed, and overwhelmed, and honestly a little bit manic when she came in. She left that night very obviously in a better mood than she came in, and I left feeling like things between us were going to be ok again.

I told her that night that if she needed a complete break from all this for a few weeks while she was on hiatus that I'd understand if she didn't want to communicate during that. She reassured me multiple times that wasn't the case, and that we'd talk more while she was away. I asked her to text me when she was home safe because she was really tired and she did. That was over 2 weeks ago, it was the last time I heard from her, and I don't know why. I may never know why at this point and that really hurts.

I'd love to say that I left things at that, but I didn't. I didn't send her a million messages begging for attention or anything, but I did send probably 1 or 2 more than I should have. Nothing crazy or pushy thankfully, just stuff like I hope the thing she was taking a break to do went well, and checking in to see if she was feeling better or if the things she was stressed about were getting resolved. I feel like if I had just been patient enough to wait for a response after the first message I sent her that I probably would have heard from her, even if it had taken some time. Despite all my talk that night I just couldn't leave this alone, and I'll have to live with that mistake.

It feels weird to mourn the loss of something that never truly was in the first place, but the lack of closure makes it really hard to close the book on this for me mentally. I've since gone to see other people, but all that did was make me miss the effortless chemistry and emotional intimacy we had. I miss her, a lot, but if I never hear from her again I'll only have myself to blame for that. I would want her to make the right call for herself, even if I'm honestly really hurting right now and don't think that'll stop for a while. I genuinely just hope she's doing ok because I really do care about her, but part of caring for someone has to be letting that person go and respecting their decision to leave.

Maybe she just decided she needed a full break after all, and maybe I'm overreacting. She's still not on schedule this week, so it's not like all hope is lost, but I'm trying to prepare myself for if/when that happens. She had a really big impact on me in a very short amount of time, in a way very few people have. She showed me an example of what I'm looking for when it comes to intimacy with another person. She pushed me to be a better and more authentic version of myself at a time in my life when I felt lost. I don't regret a single second or dollar I spent on seeing her.

This really meant something to me, she really meant something to me, and I'm really hurting right now. I'll always regret that I couldn't be better about this in the way that she needed me to be, and the ways in which I let her down. I wish I had met her when I was in a better place mentally, or in a different context, but honestly I'm just glad I got to meet her at all. She's amazing, and I hope she finds happiness even if I'm not around to see it.

I'm never going to forget her, or the time we spent together, and I don't want to.

In the world of SW their lives move way quicker than regular folks. If the connection is real she'll give you another shot. But you have to work on yourself first. Make money, go to the gym, therapy, etc whatever it takes to grow and improve.

She'll be back 100% because you were good to her and MOST people either are terrible or don't care.

This is rare, and if you adopt a LONG TERM strategy (not days or weeks or months, but years) of self improvement, you wont have to worry about anything.

 

[KermitCrimes]

I think it could be pretty easy for this to happen. you just go see the girl often. eventually she will grow to like you ....or really hate you

 

[goalie000]

I think it could be pretty easy for this to happen. you just go see the girl often. eventually she will grow to like you ....or really hate you

If there is a connection of some kind, then yes frequency can help to develop a relationship. Of course both parties have to be open to things progressing beyond the client /provider situation and it may not be even noticeable until something changes, like going from CBJ to BBBJ! I have been with my SW partner (she has retired) for over 10:yrs now.

 

[Jackson_junior]

Of course it is , likely probably not… - I remember commenting on a previous thread about dating SPs and how a friend of mine who is in the business fell in love with her client and they shortly started dating afterwards.

Unfortunately it didn’t end well as the boyfriend wanted her to quit escorting and work a normal job. In short she left him because she didn’t want to leave the freedom of escorting

Moral of the story if a SP falls for you don’t expect her to change her whole life around for you and certainly don’t expect her to quit her job lol

does it ever get to a. Point where SP give big discounts or sleep with that client for free but more as FWB

 

[James25uc]

In theory, it may sound pretty good, but I don’t think it is. Years ago I dated a woman from. AFF who was out there looking for clients. I didn’t realize until after we started dating that that’s what she did and in the second month she said I needed to give her $1200 because that’s the money she would have made if she hadn’t been with me.
It was very transactional and also she was not a very nice person in real life. As a. SP she was charming and appeared to be much happier, but behind the façade she was a miserable bitch.

I would keep these things separate as much as it’s a boost to your ego. It’s unlikely it will end well.