A 5 year old

[rep_pot]

A 5 Year Old's First Job

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond
formed between a little
5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will
make you believethat we can all make a difference when we
give a childthe gift of ourtime.

A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant
lot. One day, a construction crew began to build a house
on the empty lot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally
took an interest in the goings-on and spent much of each
day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them
'gems-in-the-rough,' more
or less, adopted her as a kind of project
'mascot'. They chatted with her
during coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little
jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented
her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars.
The little girl took this home to her
mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars
'pay' she'd received to the bank the next day to start
a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the
teller was equally impressed and asked the little
girl how she had come by her very own pay
check at such a young age. The little girl proudly
replied, 'I worked last week with a real construction
crew building the new house next door to us.'

'Oh my goodness gracious,' said the teller,
'and will you be working on
the house again this week, too?'

The little girl replied, 'I will, if those
assholes at Home Depot ever
deliver the fuckin' Dry wall...'

Kind of brings a tear to the eye - doesn't it?

 

[OnTheWayOut]

lol

 

[stevieray]

Letter to God...

Little Billy sat down & wrote a letter to God. "God, could you please send me $100? I`ve been really good. Thank you. Billy." The folks at Canada Post weren`t sure who should send a reply. Eventually, it ended up at the Prime Minister`s Office. The PM was so impressed with Billy`s boldness, he sent him a cheque for $5, thinking this would seem like alot of money to a little boy. A while later, Billy sent a return letter: "Dear God, thank you for the $5. I noticed that it arrived by way of Ottawa. Figures those Bastards would take $95 of it.....!"

 

[rep_pot]

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time wehad sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.' Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.' OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?' 'Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!' A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally,they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself,this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as thecouple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?' Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence'.

 

[Serenader]

From the mouths of babes...truth...

 

[yak2432]

I thought I'd heard just about every joke in the world good and bad. These are great, thanks guys.