Am I just too nervous, or is this just "not for me"?

[39ajaxmale]

I'm definitely NOT a smoker! As I said, I have NO problem at all getting an erection with a girlfriend, or on my own, its just as soon as the door to the SP's place opens, it all goes south! haha!

I think the condom is the problem. As necissary as they are, they're horrible. I'd guess when you were with a girlfriend or alone, you are probably not using condoms?

I mean the obvious answer to getting/keeping hard is to use viagara or something.. pick up a prescription and just use it for hobbying, until you get the anxiety under control.

 

[frankcastle]

If his problem is condoms and comfort of the incall then try outcalls to his place with girls who offer bbbj

or go to a nice upper tier massage parlour and get a nice hj

 

[Lou Siffer]

Question for OP:
Did you not use condoms with your GF? At least in the beginning? Have condoms always been a problem?

I tend to agree with Sofia. It seems like a comfort thing. You're in your own head.
Maybe see the same SP a couple of times so that it feels more natural.

 

[Ridgeman08]

Sounds like anxiety... try a blue pill...

 

[buttercup]

The problem might be that the regular size of condom is too small for you. Try the magnum size. Especially if you're on the large size (7+), but even if you're near average (6-ish). (You'll probably have to take them with you - many SPs don't have them in stock.)

 

[SofiaYork]

The problem might be that the regular size of condom is too small for you. Try the magnum size. Especially if you're on the large size (7+), but even if you're near average (6-ish). (You'll probably have to take them with you - many SPs don't have them in stock.)

GOOD POINT

I know sooo many guys who use the wrong size condom! Check the sizes on the side of the box.. find what works for you.

Ive known guys who were MAGNUM size and still using regular sized condoms :-o

Even if a guy looks average size, or is 6-7 inches or so... it can have little to do with the length but more so the girth.. or vice verse. Different condoms have different shapes also... gotta experiment!

Its like for girls when they wear the same size bra all the time and then go get resized in their 20s or 30s and the shopgirl gives them a totally different size and it's like "Ahhhh!".. My own mother for example, she is naturally a large DD. A chunky short woman, but even in her thinner days had a huge chest. Was wearing 36 D or DDs till she hit her 60s, then stopped wearing bras entirely (yeah, ew.) because of the discomfort. I forced her to go with me last summer to get refitted and she is now a 42 DD, but to make things even more surprising (to her).. she never even knew sports bras existed. So we cut out bras entirely and now she is comfortable and supported in hugeboobgus sports bras that are as big as your boxers. #oldeuropeanmothers =P

But back to the point... ease your nerves, meet with the SP for drinks before would help too! <3

 

[OddSox]

The problem might be that the regular size of condom is too small for you. Try the magnum size. Especially if you're on the large size (7+), but even if you're near average (6-ish). (You'll probably have to take them with you - many SPs don't have them in stock.)

Too tight is bad. Also easier to break...

 

[Moviefan-2]

You're probably stressing too much about whether you will perform well. And the stress is making it more difficult.

Visiting an SP isn't the same thing as being with a GF, and you may have to find what works best for you. You might find other positions, such as 69, are more enjoyable with SPs than intercourse.

It's also good to remember that it's not the end of the world if you don't perform well at a given session.

Unless you're planning to repeat, no one will ever know but you. SPs don't really care (this kind of thing happens more often than you might think) and, over time, the SP won't remember you. So any problems will be your own little secret.

Relaxing and finding your own groove for getting the most out of a session is the best way to proceed. Also, make sure you book at least an hour. The half-hour sessions aren't enough for some guys, including me.

 

[T-boy]

Question for OP:
Did you not use condoms with your GF? At least in the beginning? Have condoms always been a problem?

I tend to agree with Sofia. It seems like a comfort thing. You're in your own head.
Maybe see the same SP a couple of times so that it feels more natural.

I've used condoms twice ever...I've always been in long term relationships! I've never actually completed with a condom actually, but usually keeping hard with one on isn't an issue (with a girlfriend at least). I guess being "with a stranger", coupled with putting on a condom, just doubles the anxiety and then I lose whatever wood I've managed to get!

 

[T-boy]

The problem might be that the regular size of condom is too small for you. Try the magnum size. Especially if you're on the large size (7+), but even if you're near average (6-ish). (You'll probably have to take them with you - many SPs don't have them in stock.)

Size isn't an issue, I'll admit that fully! What I DO find an issue tho, is that I've never got on too well with latex, so whenever I've used a condom in a relationship, I've used polyspyrene (lifestyle Skyn) condoms. Is it actualyl ok to bring your own condoms to an SP? Or are they wary of that?! (I'm not sure why they would be? so this is probably a stupid question!).

 

[LKD]

you're just too nervous I'm guessing... stop worrying about your performance or having to please the girl.. Focus on your own enjoyment

 

[T-boy]

Relaxing and finding your own groove for getting the most out of a session is the best way to proceed. Also, make sure you book at least an hour. The half-hour sessions aren't enough for some guys, including me.

The last session I booked 45 minutes just "in case" I didn't get my money's worth (which I guess I didn't, in a way!).

I have another (kinda) related question, that I hope doesn't make me sound like a freak, haha:

I am a natural voyeur, always have been, and I'm aware of it. I've always got off watching girlfriends play with themselves (with them knowing, I'm not some creeper!). If I asked an SP to undress and start masturbating while I'm watching, and THEN eventually join in....would an SP be ok with that? I guess this isn't too much of a request, and I'm sure other guys have much weirder requests than that! I'm just thinking that I'd relax more into a session that way, or something?

 

[Buick Mackane]

They're wary of the odd guy who might put a pinhole in one, very unlikely but you never know.

You could give her an unopened box of condoms, she would appreciate the gift.

 

[T-boy]

They're wary of the odd guy who might put a pinhole in one, very unlikely but you never know.

You could give her an unopened box of condoms, she would appreciate the gift.

Fair enough, good suggestion.

 

[Grindit630]

The problem might be that the regular size of condom is too small for you. Try the magnum size. Especially if you're on the large size (7+), but even if you're near average (6-ish). (You'll probably have to take them with you - many SPs don't have them in stock.)

I agree I think condoms offer by SP sometimes are too small. I wish they give you a choice for size. haha...

 

[Moviefan-2]

I am a natural voyeur, always have been, and I'm aware of it. I've always got off watching girlfriends play with themselves (with them knowing, I'm not some creeper!). If I asked an SP to undress and start masturbating while I'm watching, and THEN eventually join in....would an SP be ok with that? I guess this isn't too much of a request, and I'm sure other guys have much weirder requests than that! I'm just thinking that I'd relax more into a session that way, or something?

You'd have to ask but I suspect many would be OK with that.

 

[SofiaYork]

The last session I booked 45 minutes just "in case" I didn't get my money's worth (which I guess I didn't, in a way!).

I have another (kinda) related question, that I hope doesn't make me sound like a freak, haha:

I am a natural voyeur, always have been, and I'm aware of it. I've always got off watching girlfriends play with themselves (with them knowing, I'm not some creeper!). If I asked an SP to undress and start masturbating while I'm watching, and THEN eventually join in....would an SP be ok with that? I guess this isn't too much of a request, and I'm sure other guys have much weirder requests than that! I'm just thinking that I'd relax more into a session that way, or something?

Most SPs will gladly oblige your requests. The only issue is that we are humans too (SURPRISE) and while you are nervous..even if a girl does this full time, EVERY ENCOUNTER can make her nervous potentially (shy) -- im an exhibitionist/voyeur also. I love watching guys masturbate so I totally get it -- but I get weird when I am asked to masturbate in front of a guy.

In recent years its gotten easier for me when things are kept mutual. Laying down on the bed sort of "scissoring" each other, I play with myself and he plays with himself.. and occasionally helping each other -- this is my ideal foreplay and usually goes on for 30-60 minutes before I am ready to jump or be jumped.

As for condoms.. like Buick said... we are "trained" by word of mouth/agencies/other girls etc to not accept condoms from the guys.

 

[Petzel]

I used to see an SP years ago who always had small, medium and large sized condoms with her.

 

[trod]

I had a similar experience during my first time with an SP. Even the BJ wasn't getting me fully hard. I was under a lot of stress at that point of time and it showed. The lady was very professional and encouraged me to relax and look her in the eyes. She then proceeded to jerk me off with some dirty talk.

My suggestion would be to reduce stress ( do some physical exercise like running, playing soccer, swimming, tennis) as much as possible. If there is mental stress, try taking some yoga/gym classes, listen to some relaxing music ( take that music with your for the session ), engage yourself in a creative activity like writing music, painting, whatever you are passionate about. Take a cruise with close friends.

Learn to see the positive aspects of life. Don't worry too much and you will be pounding girls like a rabbit

 

[ctv250]

Sounds like anxiety... try a blue pill...

+1... It's not the condom!