Any Divorce/Family Lawyers out there? Ex wants to see business financials...

[Stoo]

My biggest mistake was not having the lawyer ask for some sort of ending to the payments...

I found myself in exactly the same situation. For a lawyer not to bring that to a client's attention when the original deal is being negotiated is an egregious failure of responsibility, IMHO. My original agreement was written for 5 years or something. As that date came up, I was all excited until I received a letter from my lawyer who advised that her lawyer was ready to sit down to discuss the next 5 years! (WTF???). I remember his exact reply when I asked when the payments ended and his exact answer was "When she says...".

In my case, the previous 5 years saw my kids finish university or college (100% on my dime), she had taken on a new common-law partner, and I had remarried. She had a job (she had been a stay at home Mom) so a lot had changed. Oh ya, she had a paid-for house, and I had a mortgage. And the kids still living at home (which changed monthly!) lived with me, and had little, if any contact with her. I found the prospect of sending her money every month to sit on her ass mildly offensive to say the least. (By way of background, our marriage ended when she was discovered, by my daughter, to be having an affair!)

Fortunately, my ex and I had remained on pretty good terms, so we met for coffee and I just said I was done. She had soaked me for almost $1 million and I just said that that was all she was getting. I was prepared to put my business into bankruptcy and get a minimum wage job at Home Depot.

Thankfully, she agreed and eventually signed an agreement to that affect, very much against the advice of her lawyer.

I let my lawyer I wasn't happy with him, and he told me that the agreement we had was "normal", which it might have been, but it was still a huge oversight that he didn't bring it to my attention.

 

[TeasePlease]

In the absence of a Marriage Contract or Cohabitation Agreement your wife will have a right to equalization. Even if an asset is exempt or excluded you are still required to value it. In order to properly value a business asset an accountant or forensic accountant would have to examine the books and records of the business. you can fight all you like to prevent the disclosure but in the end you will lose because your wife is entitled to the information. The cost of the losing battle will be very expensive as you will pay your lawyer and hers. Your lawyer should give you the same advice.

Equalization doesn't extend to property acquired after marital separation.

I find a lot of people don't give much thought to common-law situations. They just start living together and don't think about the legal obligations. I've seen a one guy lose half his interest in a business he built up from scratch due to a common-law claim by his girlfriend. He never saw it coming.

 

[FAST]

Blank cheque

I let my lawyer I wasn't happy with him,and he told me that the agreement we had was "normal", which it might have been, but it was still a huge oversight that he didn't bring it to my attention.

We all have to understand that divorce lawyers will do ANYTHING to keep the ball rolling until there is NO moneys left to fight over !!!

Do NOT trust ANY divorce lawyer,...thinking that are looking out for your interest,..... they have only one interest.

FAST

 

[Stoo]

We all have to understand that divorce lawyers will do ANYTHING to keep the ball rolling until there is NO moneys left to fight over !!!

Do NOT trust ANY divorce lawyer,...thinking that are looking out for your interest,..... they have only one interest.

Silly me. I thought he was on my side!

 

[richaceg]

Sniffing thru your T4 is just the "tip of the iceberg".I'm dirt poor to begin with so I guess I won't have that problem as soon as I get served with divorce papers...

 

[toguy5252]

Equalization doesn't extend to property acquired after marital separation.

I find a lot of people don't give much thought to common-law situations. They just start living together and don't think about the legal obligations. I've seen a one guy lose half his interest in a business he built up from scratch due to a common-law claim by his girlfriend. He never saw it coming.

I did not say that. I said that disclosure must be made even if an exemption or exclusion is claimed.

 

[mandrill]

I found myself in exactly the same situation. For a lawyer not to bring that to a client's attention when the original deal is being negotiated is an egregious failure of responsibility, IMHO. My original agreement was written for 5 years or something. As that date came up, I was all excited until I received a letter from my lawyer who advised that her lawyer was ready to sit down to discuss the next 5 years! (WTF???). I remember his exact reply when I asked when the payments ended and his exact answer was "When she says...".

In my case, the previous 5 years saw my kids finish university or college (100% on my dime), she had taken on a new common-law partner, and I had remarried. She had a job (she had been a stay at home Mom) so a lot had changed. Oh ya, she had a paid-for house, and I had a mortgage. And the kids still living at home (which changed monthly!) lived with me, and had little, if any contact with her. I found the prospect of sending her money every month to sit on her ass mildly offensive to say the least. (By way of background, our marriage ended when she was discovered, by my daughter, to be having an affair!)

Fortunately, my ex and I had remained on pretty good terms, so we met for coffee and I just said I was done. She had soaked me for almost $1 million and I just said that that was all she was getting. I was prepared to put my business into bankruptcy and get a minimum wage job at Home Depot.

Thankfully, she agreed and eventually signed an agreement to that affect, very much against the advice of her lawyer.

I let my lawyer I wasn't happy with him, and he told me that the agreement we had was "normal", which it might have been, but it was still a huge oversight that he didn't bring it to my attention.

Hmmm, if you paid a $1,000,000.00 in spousal support over 5 years, you must have had a 7-figure income yourself. When you have that kind of an income, the judge will figure you have the wherewithal to pay.

 

[Nokia-Guy]

(By way of background, our marriage ended when she was discovered, by my daughter, to be having an affair!)

wait... so she cheated on you and then you asked for divorce.. yet you still have to pay her while your kids living with you? Gosh... i thought if one spouse is found cheating they default claims to anything in a divorce...

 

[fmahovalich]

Any one can cheat..with 10 partners...or any other reason can be used......and anyone can instigate a divorce......none of that matters when it comes time to split assets.

Assets....earned during the marriage are split 50 50

Support is based on a scale ...based on income.

Joint custody changes child support expectations.

A lot of time MEN PAY SUPPORT...BECAUSE THE WOMAN IS THE CAREGIVER....in which case a scale is utilized.


Now if you wanna be a dick...and reduce your income....to drop support payments go for it...and hurt the CHILD.

Child support often times is a man paying for freedom....sadly.


As for equalization....the higher wage earner may have to keep the spouse in accustomed style...likely for 3 years until retrained.

Splitting up is simple math..often times easily done without a lawyer. Sadly, one side dicks around...forcing lawyers to get involved, often times causing the angry person who is trying to dupe the other to become angrier.

 

[needinit]

I have both kids with me (although the oldest now spends more time with her as he is almost 18 and she is close to his school) and I still pay spousal and child support - the judeg just said you can afford it so you are paying it!

 

[afterhours]

wait... so she cheated on you and then you asked for divorce.. yet you still have to pay her while your kids living with you? Gosh... i thought if one spouse is found cheating they default claims to anything in a divorce...

what colour is the sky in your world?

 

[probyn]

fmahovalich writes:

Now if you wanna be a dick...and reduce your income....to drop support payments go for it...and hurt the CHILD.


What makes you think that all that money is going to the child and not being used by the ex for her own selfish ends?

 

[probyn]

I think thses threads on divorce prove one thing: Family Court always screws the guy, and it is in our own best interest not to date civilians and to see only SPs.

 

[afterhours]

I think thses threads on divorce prove one thing: Family Court always screws the guy, and it is in our own best interest not to date civilians and to see only SPs.

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
Brendan Behan

 

[rgkv]

A lot of time MEN PAY SUPPORT......likely for 3 years until retrained.

only if married 5 years or less, if married 10 years or more its life

 

[oil&gas]

There is this old news that could be relevant to this thread which I don't remember
what became of it.

Anyway some years ago there was a woman who went after her ex-husband for
a share of his wealth acquired *after* their divoce. The woman was if memory serves
a teacher in Toronto. The ex-husband had been paying spousal support dutifuly
to her and their daughter. The wife obviously wasn't satisfied with just monthly payments
and her excuse being that single motherhood cost her the career opportunity of promotion
to school principal. As frivolous as this lawsuit sounds the wife won the case. I seem
to remember the husband was to appeal the verdict. Anyone remember what the final
outcome was?

 

[pipelayer]

only if married 5 years or less, if married 10 years or more its life

My lawyer advised that in a case where the relationship is deemed longterm in nature or there are kids, support will last year for year as long as the relationship was. AND she can still come back after you when that time frame runs out. Oh ya...and if she shacks up with some loser with a low income...you still pay spousal support as per your agreement. So unless she hooks up with a fellow whose income is close to your own, your spousal support will not stop. Plain and simple we get truly fucked.

 

[rgkv]

I was told 1 year of marriage=no support. 1 to 5years=5 years support. 5 to 10 = 10 years support. over 10=life
I was married 11 years, lawyer said come back after 10 and try then, also I am hoping that when I retire, I have no private pension, that they would stop the payments...

PS.. I see retirement coming soonnnnnnnnnnnn

 

[**Sophie**]

Especially if you acquired the shares after you were married... If so, she will be entitled to half of the VALUE of the shares. .

She is also entitled to take half of his debt too.

If you have nothing to hide, and your business records match your t4's, be open and share them, otherwise they can have a judge order you supply the lawyer with all your financial info, which means, money to lawyers for those court appearances while you fight. Don't get sucked into the lawyer game, they will eat you alive and rob you of all your money, trust me it is NOT in ANY lawyers best interest to get things done quik, they will dragggg it on and on while you just keep paying and paying.....