First and foremost, my sincerest condolences to you and your family.
No one will ever be able to understand what you and your wife are going through, but everyone knows how to listen. Cry when you feel like crying, and laugh when you feel like laughing. You and your wife will know what's right for you. If you're religious or spiritual turn to those who can guide you and your only responsibility is to you family.
I remember seeing a card that was given to my cousin when her newborn passed away, on the front was a beautiful quote from Mother Theresa, I thought it was very fitting... "There are no great things, only small things with great love."
May you and your family never know anymore sorrow