Bachelorhood and SPs

[ctv250]

So I'm coming up on 1 year of bachelorhood, and find myself at a crossroads. I'm enjoying my new single life. I have a great job, fantastic adult kids, who I see regularly and I've found a nice place to live. I have friends that I see on a regular basis and have interests that fill my evenings and weekends. I also frequent SPs for companionship, and I love their company; the sex is incredible and I feel great when I leave, knowing that there are no complications or demands made on my time.

My question is, is this lifestyle sustainable? Are there fellow terbites that are in a similar situation, and have you been able to stay a bachelor for a long time? Do you have friends and family that question why you don't date (I'm only a year into my break up, so I still get away with saying I'm not ready)? Do you mix dating and visiting SPs? I have a couple of good, trustworthy buds that I have told the truth to. They totally understand, and are actually envious. It did feel good to tell the truth, and not make up BS excuses. I think life would be easier if I could tell my friends, coworkers and family that I enjoy being a bachelor and when I need a release I visit a SP. Given how judgemental people are, I know that's not possible. How do the rest of the confirmed bachelors handle the concerned/nosy/matchmakers in your life?

 

[Brill]

Do whatever you want, there's no need to conform to the expectations of others.
I have a few people who are "concerned/nosy/matchmakers" and I say, "Haven't met the right one yet, you'll be the first to know". No need to get upset, they mean well.

If you don't feel lonely and don't miss sleeping with a woman then your life sounds ideal.

 

[afterhours]

enjoy your life and don't give a shit about the nosy. Make a story if you have to (fake long-distance relationship or whatever) and make sure you don't bend your life because of these nosy cocksuckers.
It's totally sustainable and it's the best way to go if you already have kids - which you do.

 

[Don Draper]

Enjoy your life as it is the one you have chosen. Others got the chance to choose their lives as well so they will live with their decisions. You don't need to provide justification to anybody.

Some SP's become friends. Some become GF's. Most are just an hour. Chemistry appears in unexpected places.

I constantly date so it provides me with an SO for the 'ceremonious events', if you will. Hobbying is fun but not essential.

Live your life well and enjoy. You're not harming anyone. You don't know how much time you have left either.

I date, entice and absorb as much as I can around me and as often as possible. Since I have no baggage, it's easy to do. The world is full of women who are looking for attention, company and a little romance..

... I wouldn't have it any other way!​

 

[bobistheowl]

... How do the rest of the confirmed bachelors handle the concerned/nosy/matchmakers in your life?

I'd suggest you not use this particular term to describe yourself and others here. It means homosexual, in many contexts.

 

[luvzgirlz]

I'd suggest you not use this particular term to describe yourself and others here. It means homosexual, in many contexts.

But if that's his cup of tea, there's escorts for that too!

I wouldn't want to just hobby, exclusively. ctv250, the fact that you even ask if this is sustainable suggests you don't think it is. I don't hobby when I'm in a relationship, and I get the sense you wouldn't either. But if you're enjoying yourself? It works till it doesn't.

 

[HentaiRanger]

Enjoy your life as it is the one you have chosen. Others got the chance to choose their lives as well so they will live with their decisions. You don't need to provide justification to anybody.

Some SP's become friends. Some become GF's. Most are just an hour. Chemistry appears in unexpected places.

I constantly date so it provides me with an SO for the 'ceremonious events', if you will. Hobbying is fun but not essential.

Live your life well and enjoy. You're not harming anyone. You don't know how much time you have left either.

I date, entice and absorb as much as I can around me and as often as possible. Since I have no baggage, it's easy to do. The world is full of women who are looking for attention, company and a little romance..

... I wouldn't have it any other way!​

You forgot to mention looking for
Money

 

[djk]

I've been a bachelor for many years. Used to be big into the hobby scene until I discovered seduction (others call it pick up and game).

I usually bite my tongue about my lifestyle because I've found most people are equally judgemental about sleeping around and casually dating women without apology.

My motivation to keep quiet is its the best way to preserve the lifestyle I have without sacrificing the benefits I get from judgemental pricks in my life. Sure, they think I'm one of them and that's a small price to pay to have them ultimately serve me. One example would be getting one to vouch for me to their superiors as I climb company ladder at work.

Another thing you should do is within your social circle surround yourself with others with similar lifestyles. I'm a member of a few online lairs which has been tremendously helpful when I need to turn to someone for advice and support.

 

[FatOne]

I'm a member of a few online lairs which has been tremendously helpful when I need to turn to someone for advice and support.

I used to work for a guy who had an underground lair surrounded by red hot magma.

 

[Don Draper]

You forgot to mention looking for Money

I didn't.

That's not an issue outside SP world.

 

[djk]

I used to work for a guy who had an underground lair surrounded by red hot magma.

Is that you, henchman arbitrarily turning knobs making it seem like you're doing something?

 

[djk]

I didn't.

That's not an issue outside SP world.

I respectfully disagree.

Money is the great enabler.

 

[ctv250]

I'd suggest you not use this particular term to describe yourself and others here. It means homosexual, in many contexts.

Maybe a hundred years ago... Now it pretty much means bachelor for life.

Some good advice given, thanks. Can't tell everyone to f'off, as it's mostly my family! The idea about hanging with other bachelors is a good point. Pretty much all of my friends are married, so inevitabley they think that your lifestyle should mirror theirs.

Has anyone dated exclusively married women? I've gone out with one in the past year and just had a fling. No BS with that relationship, just sex and no commitment.

 

[Don Draper]

I respectfully disagree.

Money is the great enabler.

Sure. Whatever.

Live your Life.

 

[Mikehorn]

Luckily my family's not like that. We pretty much stay out of each other's business. I have a nosy aunt or two, but I never see them - feel sorry for their (adult) kids tho...

 

[Aardvark154]

Even if you want to start dating again, one of the factors to consider is that the death of a relationship is like mourning a physical death, you go through all the stages of grief and you have to do that at your own pace if you try to rush it and get serious with someone before you are ready it generally will end badly.

 

[roblestone]

I think if you stay near large cities particularly in Canada where le is not a concern your lifestyle is completely sustainable and a wise choice. Where i live in small town America not so much. I've run into a really dry spell after recent stings here in the States. You can't just read some reviews and pick up the phone like in Toronto. Sounds like your living large. Congrats.

 

[afterhours]

I think if you stay near large cities particularly in Canada where le is not a concern your lifestyle is completely sustainable and a wise choice. Where i live in small town America not so much. I've run into a really dry spell after recent stings here in the States. You can't just read some reviews and pick up the phone like in Toronto. Sounds like your living large. Congrats.

OP, it seems you should praise the Lord that you don't live in the Land of the Free

 

[401commuter]

Hey ctv250, here's my situation. I divorced almost 3 years ago and starting into the "hobby" just this year. I did watch the boards for about 6 months before I took my first plunge, but I am glad I did. I have met some incredible women and I have no desire to get back into the dating scene and all the drama it brings. Like you I have a close group of friends that I hang out and travel with, but I have not told any of them. They see me a lot happier than when I was with my ex-wife, and as of yet I have had no one question me why I'm not dating. I enjoy this lifestyle, and like I mentioned earlier the women I have seen have been some of the best experiences of my life. As long as you're happy, I don't think it matters what other people think, even family members.

 

[afterhours]

Hey ctv250, here's my situation. I divorced almost 3 years ago and starting into the "hobby" just this year. I did watch the boards for about 6 months before I took my first plunge, but I am glad I did. I have met some incredible women and I have no desire to get back into the dating scene and all the drama it brings. Like you I have a close group of friends that I hang out and travel with, but I have not told any of them. They see me a lot happier than when I was with my ex-wife, and as of yet I have had no one question me why I'm not dating. I enjoy this lifestyle, and like I mentioned earlier the women I have seen have been some of the best experiences of my life. As long as you're happy, I don't think it matters what other people think, even family members.

I wonder whether you are at all concerned that you cannot confess to your close friends about your hobby. If I needed to keep this hidden from somebody I would not consider him to be my friend, let alone close friend.