Blonde joke

[Robert Mugabe]

Cant find the joke of the day thread so here goes.


A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

 

[onomatopoeia]

Cant find the joke of the day thread so here goes.


A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Search for "Jokes of the Day", not 'Joke'.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

Another one...

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
"GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
"JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question.
"What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"
The Teacher fainted.

 

[csmitting]

Why are blonde jokes so basic?
So brunettes will get them.

Why do some women have huge belly buttons?
Cause they have blonde boyfriends.

 

[onomatopoeia]

Two blonde women are working on a jigsaw puzzle. When they put the last piece in place, they high-five each other and shout "Forty-three days!". A guy sitting nearby asks them about that, and the blondes say "We finished that puzzle in only forty-three days, and on the box it says two to four years!".

 

[Deviant]

What does a blonde say when she wants to get laid? Boy, am i drunk.

What does a brunette say when she wants to get laid? Is that blonde gone yet.

 

[Josephine Grey]

What does a blonde say when she wants to get laid? Boy, am i drunk.

What does a brunette say when she wants to get laid? Is that blonde gone yet.

How do you know if a blonde used your computer?

There is liquid paper on the screen.

How do you know if another blonde used your computer?

She wrote on the liquid paper.

How do you know if a third blonde used your computer?

Drools on the joystick.

 

[westendman]

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The bartender asks what he can get the ladies. The redhead asks for a RW. RW say the bartender. What is a RW? The redhead says red wine. So the bartender pours the redhead a glass of red wine. Next he asks the brunette what she would like. She say a WW. He says WW, white wine? She says yes. So the bartender proceeds to pour her a glass of white wine. Finally he asks the blonde what he can get her. She says she would like a 13. 13? Says the bartender. What is a 13? A 7 and 7 says the blonde.

 

[Westender]

Manager of the grocery store walks up to a blonde in the frozen food aisle... he asks why she has been there for 4 hours... she points to the frozen juice and tells him it said concentrate !!

 

[Valcazar]

What does a blonde say when she wants to get laid? Boy, am i drunk.

What does a brunette say when she wants to get laid? Is that blonde gone yet.

What does a redhead say when she wants to get laid? NEXT!

 

[hairyfucker]

in our woke society, why is this acceptable but other jokes that target specific people are not? sorry for hijacking the thread but just wondering...

 

[poker]

in our woke society, why is this acceptable but other jokes that target specific people are not? sorry for hijacking the thread but just wondering...

It’s not…. You blond or something?!

 

[oral.com]

How can you tell when a blonde has a new vibrator?
…..her teeth are all chipped

 

[y2kmark]

in our woke society, why is this acceptable but other jokes that target specific people are not? sorry for hijacking the thread but just wondering...

So, heard any good bald jokes lately?

 

[asuran]

BLONDE PANTIES

Bekijk je favoriete video's, luister naar de muziek die je leuk vindt, upload originele content en deel alles met vrienden, familie en anderen op YouTube.

www.youtube.com

 

[bemeup]

A highway patrolman comes across a car flipped upside down a few feet off the side of the highway, and a blonde staggering by the car. After determining that she is not seriously hurt, he asked what happened.
“Well,” she said, “I was driving down the highway when I dropped my lipstick on the floor. After I bent down to pick it up, I saw that I was headed straight for a tree, so I swerved to the left, and I saw I was headed straight for another tree, so I quickly swerved to the right, and that’s when the car flipped over.”
The cop looked back down the highway, and then took a peak into the car, and then told the blonde: “Ma’am, there are no trees along this stretch of road, that was your air freshener.”

 

[y2kmark]

in our woke society, why is this acceptable but other jokes that target specific people are not? sorry for hijacking the thread but just wondering...

why is it OK to prick your finger, but not to finger your prick? G. Carlin...

 

[onomatopoeia]

in our woke society, why is this acceptable but other jokes that target specific people are not? sorry for hijacking the thread but just wondering...

Because the unspoken motives behind woke ideology are envy and condescension. Look at whom they attack, and for whom they take offense, by proxy.

 

[y2kmark]

Because the unspoken motives behind woke ideology are envy and condescension. Look at whom they attack, and for whom they take offense, by proxy.

In a nutshell: Comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. That's what Jesus did...

 

[Insidious Von]

Want to hear the best blonde joke, Warner are saturation marketing their new Barbie film to the tune of $220 million. I'm sticking with my prediction that it will bomb like a 737.

Blonde No. 1 oh God, bees scare me
Blonde No. 2 don't worry the whole alphabet scares me.