C O K E

[pool]

Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

I'm not entirely sure what people mean by this, Fred. In order to feel sorry for oneself you have to have the capacity to focus and think - in many cases of addiction it's beyond that and just is.

I only wish affirmative actions like kicking someone off a review board were an answer, but in most cases it's not and may only isolate an individual further, if they valued that "link" to others. On the other hand a combination of so called "tough love" and compassion is usually part of the answer.




It would be easier to list the things in my life which are not some form of addiction, but most are not physical - just psychological, and some are intentional substitutes.



Solitaria is no idiot - God forbid, just trying to relate and connect with the dude.

Then I get home and start drinking my Twelve and say to myself I don't want Blow tonight I don't need Coke evere.

Than all of a Suddan I have a HUDGE craving for COKE and start all over.

Just an observation, but drinking most likely weakens willpower and clouds judgment ( yeah - no big revelation). I dunno, bra, but it may [and in many cases does] require a serious lifestyle/mindset overhaul. If you are not happy with your present state of mind try saying to yourself something to the effect of "it can't be any worse than this to face the world without a crutch". Cravings [like clouds] do pass, but ya need the clarity of mind to see beyond them and let each one pass.

Hopefully you can find strength in strength itself and are able to see a pathway out [with help]. It is doable ... it ain't fuckin easy and for many it's a long battle and on some level an everlasting battle, but it does gradually but surely get easier so ... do it ... do it .... do it : )

There's another thread on [crack] addiction going on right now, which has some thoughtful responses. It's good to see so many people with the capacity to empathise, but sad that many have the experience to do so.


Why was 'cocaine' such a popular song ...

 

[simontemplar]

I guess I just don't get how kicking this guy off this board of sex-addicts will be helpful to him... Maybe he should have access to all of everyone's advice and opinions... Anyway, apparently he's off the board, so cannot read any more of our little opinions on his personal problem he elected to share with us "strangers"...Maybe this was "Step #1" - recognise the problem?

 

[Karma]

actually i have been there.

 

[Fred Zed]

Great. Now all he'll do is snort coke.

I did not say that he cannot come back. I said that he should try to call someone and get some help if he hasn't already done so. After he has done that he is more than welcome to return. It seems to me that he has nothing to lose by taking this step.

 

[solitaria]

Solitaria is no idiot - God forbid, just trying to relate and connect with the dude.

Perhaps I am an idiot but I was trying to relate and connect. To me getting off coke doesn't seem that easy especially if the underlying drive for it is way more powerful than sex. In my universe the most powerful hook in my soul that I couldn't shake would be my sex drive. I've never had a substance abuse problem but by the sounds of it some of these other guys haven't either. If coke felt better than sex I'm not sure why you would want help even if you knew it was bad for you especially if you had the drive going through your body craving it. I'm not sure how many other drugs have a more immediate pressing need to be satisfied over and above sex and at least with sex you have clarity after the release. There probably is never a release from cocaine before you have to make the almost impossible choice to quit.

Realistically, I think the only hope would be if someone who had been in his shoes could convince Ray to meet with them. I actually offered to meet with Ray once when he posted in the suicide thread but he asked me how old I was and I think he thought I was too young to relate to him which perhaps is true. From what I heard a lot of the time they need to hit a detox center rather forceably and get the powerful shit out of their system before they can realistically have a choice and emotionally see how their life can be better without coke. I think the best thoughtfully chosen words like Poolie's can do is make addicts feel guilty for pursuing their pleasure when there are people out there that care and aren't so callous in their response. The callous "tough love" responses to a coke addict probably if anything give him more reason to plunge into oblivion because isn't that the world he is escaping to begin with?

 

[moogama]

If you're still paying the rent and hobbying, then your addiction isn't as deep as you might hope for. Try heroin to even out the highs.

fuck that. try speedballing.


remember man:

keep chasing that dragon

 

[WhOiSyOdAdDy?]

Here is an interesting site

http://www.speedballing.com/

unfortunately, it did not teach me how to "speedball"

 

[MarkII]

I did not say that he cannot come back. I said that he should try to call someone and get some help if he hasn't already done so. After he has done that he is more than welcome to return. It seems to me that he has nothing to lose by taking this step.

Fred..the average person canot understand addiction.. Comments..while well meaning that say "JUST QUIT"..don't really cut it.

I have struggled for years with alcohol..and I'm on the good side!

Open a forum, and I am willing to be a moderator, for those who struggle.

You have no idea how many in this biz struggle with addiction but want to be free.

And NO ONE...who is not there can understand.

It's the principle of AA..be among those who know. I'm not an AA person nor would I bring any religious tone to a thread. But I will hold a mirrror up to those who have a problem..so they can see what they are doing. Thats what they need. Someone who understands, yet is willing to say it properly.

I will let people discuss their problems and act more as a police/fireman to keep the negatives away.

To deny that this problem exists in this biz is wrong.

If you are willing...I'll start the ball rolling. I'm quite certain many other's will come forward as better mods than me...but I'll get it rolling and thats what counts.


MarkII

 

[WhaWhaWha]

If you are fat loose weight.

Hey don't drag me into this...

 

[frankcastle]

Ray,

You've asked for advice about kicking your habit in the past. And now you come on here again talking about coke. Clearly you have a problem so please get yourself from help. I mean for god's sake your post this time was nearly incoherent at some points.

But what is clear is that you have stated that you end up breaking down and doing it. That is not the sign of someone who is under control. Yes you are paying your bills and that's great but it sounds like you are just scraping by worrying about the next bill and the next hit.

If you think I can't understand, I have watched friend's lives fall to pieces. Also, I am in the process of kicking the habit of smoking..... I've heard that on a scale of addictiveness its up there with some of the hard drugs. not sure if that's true or not. But what I can say is that I purposely kept myself busy so that I wouldn't smoke. How's my battle going? Not bad I might have about 6 smokes on the weekend but only if I go out to bars, otherwise I go without.

Toronto has a lot of resources to help you, narcotics anonymous, the centre for addiction just to name two. I'm sure there are others.

How about talking to a friend?

Or go to a book store and get a book on helping you with your addiction?

 

[frankcastle]

Fred,

I understand your motivation but isn't it a little harsh to kick him off terb till he gets help? How will you know that he has gotten help so that he can return?

At the very least this was a anonymous forum where he could vent.

I mean other people have done worse and gotten off with a week long suspension.

Anyways, I think your heart was in the right place but the action wasn't.

 

[wrong hole]

I have been taken Coke for a year or so if not more, no more than a two year period every weekend at least

can you post the name and number of your dealer just in case some other terbites need an addiction

 

[dukeelton]

excorrigere and solitaria, you are idiots.
If Ray is looking for help, give him some decent advise not bullshit.

Sorry to hear of your problem Ray, i have never been involved with drugs so i am unable to give you any advice from personal use. But there is ample help out there. Please seek it.

all the best.

You said it all in a nut shell.If anyone out there knows what an addiction is he or she would'nt be comming down so hard on Ray.

 

[AMWBT]

Addicts

You said it all in a nut shell.If anyone out there knows what an addiction is he or she would'nt be comming down so hard on Ray.

Not true - I've spent an inordinate amount of my life around addicts, nothing to brag about, obviously, (not been one myself, well, not full blown, let's say, I was always functional,) and my sympathy ran out years ago. Don't bother wasting your sympathy and good will - these people are wallowing in self pity. They don't need hand holding, they need a kick in the ass. Save your sympathy for the addict's family and friends, employers and anyone they've been close to or even done business with, they're the ones who've had to put up with the self indulgent bullshit over the years.

 

[TheNiteHwk]

Fred..the average person canot understand addiction.. Comments..while well meaning that say "JUST QUIT"..don't really cut it.

I have struggled for years with alcohol..and I'm on the good side!

Open a forum, and I am willing to be a moderator, for those who struggle.

You have no idea how many in this biz struggle with addiction but want to be free.

And NO ONE...who is not there can understand.

It's the principle of AA..be among those who know. I'm not an AA person nor would I bring any religious tone to a thread. But I will hold a mirrror up to those who have a problem..so they can see what they are doing. Thats what they need. Someone who understands, yet is willing to say it properly.

I will let people discuss their problems and act more as a police/fireman to keep the negatives away.

To deny that this problem exists in this biz is wrong.

If you are willing...I'll start the ball rolling. I'm quite certain many other's will come forward as better mods than me...but I'll get it rolling and thats what counts.


MarkII

If a forum is open on the topic of addiction I will (being I am an addict myself) I will be more then happy to take part.

I think it's a great idea!

This forum could be dedicated to the topic of addictions in general. IMO it would be OK for people to mention their specific addiction but we should leave none out. Remember there are all types of addictions these days. Love, Sex, Money, Gambling, Alcohol & Drugs etc.


Rayfinkle:

Here are a few links you may find helpful. Please use them. Don’t be afraid to phone around and ask for help. Last but not least get together with some fellow addicts who are in recovery. Talk and listen.

http://www.211toronto.ca/splash.jsp


http://www.ca-on.org/

 

[holden]

Last but not least get together with some fellow addicts who are in recovery.

A get together at the goddess lounge to run some rails off a stripper's ass would be neat

 

[ruck]

holden, you're a fucking idiot.
A man comes here and says he super addicted so what do you do?
Suggest a night of rails.
Grow up and show some support, or just go away.

 

[WhaWhaWha]

Easy there ruck. Even the addicts have a sense of humor and leverage for ironic commentary. So should you. Serious attention to the problem is neede, yes, but I dont know anyone who doesnt sometimes break the mood with a little levity. In this case it was actually well placed, and not overboard at all.

 

[Fred Zed]

Fred,

I understand your motivation but isn't it a little harsh to kick him off terb till he gets help? How will you know that he has gotten help so that he can return?

.

All I am asking is for him to call a professional such as in the links posted by NiteHwk below. As long as he confirms that he has spoken to someone ( he can email me ) I will be gald to allow him back. I realize suspending him may be a bit harsh, but I truly have his best interests in mind. Talking to a professional might be the first step on his road to recovery.

.......

Rayfinkle:

Here are a few links you may find helpful. Please use them. Don’t be afraid to phone around and ask for help. Last but not least get together with some fellow addicts who are in recovery. Talk and listen.

http://www.211toronto.ca/splash.jsp


http://www.ca-on.org/

 

[ruck]

Easy there ruck. Even the addicts have a sense of humor and leverage for ironic commentary. So should you. Serious attention to the problem is neede, yes, but I dont know anyone who doesnt sometimes break the mood with a little levity. In this case it was actually well placed, and not overboard at all.

Have you ever been an addict?
I was, with the same problem that Ray has. I would never have appreciated such a humor when I was trying to kick the addiction.
It's not fun and games this type of addiction. Levity is nice, I agree, but to suggest that you do the same thing you are trying to quit is not levity, it's moronic. Joke and try to make him feel better, but do it in a way that doesnt' suggest the demon he is trying to expell.
Cheers.