Can I react to this?

[xarir]

So earlier this week my buddy and I are chatting via email. My buddy, G, tells me that our mutual friend S got his wife pregnant with their first. So I email S to congratulate him. He jokingly emails me, "Yeah, you tell G and I guess the whole world knows." So I go back & forth with S about becoming a dad and all that. He seems happy.

Today, G emails me and says that Mrs S miscarried last night.

Do I offer condolences to Mr & Mrs S or do I pretend I don't know? And how do you offer condolences on something like this? (Card + flowers I guess but anything else come to mind?) Or do I just leave them alone to grieve?

 

[Cardinal Fang]

This happened to me two years ago.

[font=&quot]Offer your condolences by either means but offer the condolences nonetheless to let them know you are thinking about them.[/font]

 

[yychobbyist]

Well, obviously a slap on the ass is out of bounds here.

Why don't you e-mail or phone S just to see how things are going in life. Chances are S will tell you then.

 

[Flower]

Xarir!

S knows that you are in contact with G. A simple phone call or email will do, just say that you are sorry and are there for him if he needs you.

 

[Guy Lafleuer]

I believe over 30% of pregnancies end up in miscarriages. For future reference it's probably best not to say anything until after week 18.

Guy

 

[EchoXXX]

Let them tell you!!! Really, it's the only safe way to go. As someone who has miscarried, I know how intensely upsetting it is. Give them some time to grieve and let them tell you in their own time, at which point it is perfectly appropriate to send them a card and/or flowers.

 

[Spode]

Leave them Alone

As Sheik said "this is intensely personal". It is not like having a living (post birth) relative die, where you would offer your condolences immediately. Most women do not want this information out until they are ready to do so. However if G was meant to tell you this or he is just being his usual big mouth self than that would guide you better.

 

[xarir]

Thanks for the words of wisdom folks. My heart bleeds for them, but my instinct is to lay low and leave them be for now.

Just goes to show that no matter how crummy your day is, there's always someone else out there having a worse day than you.

 

[Jade4u]

It is so easy for anyone to tell the good news that they are expecting the birth of thier first child as they are so excited about it and they just want to tell the whole world of thier good fortune. It is sad to find out that what they were hoping for is now gone and even harder for them to now have to tell everyone of the bad news now as they are feeling disappointed. Just be there for them as a friend should. Do things to help them to get thier mind off of it.