Child Support Question

[Keebler Elf]

I'm debating with a buddy of mine and figure there's probably some single fathers on TERB who might be able to settle it for us...

My buddy has a kid (2-3) with a woman and she doesn't want child support (shocking I know). They don't live together, weren't really a couple, and it was more of a casual hook up thing that got her pregnant. Surprisingly (in my mind), she's never gone after him for child support and in fact has told him several times she doesn't want it. She seems content to raise the kid on her own (and rightly or wrongly he seems content to let it be that way). He makes more than her but she makes enough to support herself and the child.

So here's our debate...

I think he's got a growing liability and at some point she can come after him for retro child support payments. He thinks he's in the clear because she's told him repeatedly she doesn't want any and regardless they're not a couple, never lived together, etc. If I'm right, he could be facing a whopper of a bill at some point down the road (unless there's some kind of statute of limitations type thing?).

If it were me I'd probably just pay it and be done with it but I know he won't. Thus our debate about the legalities of it all.

p.s., Yes, I've told him to speak to a lawyer. This is more out of my own curiosity.

Anyone know how it works?

 

[Mr Deeds]

I would say get it in writing that way he'd protected in the future

 

[genosys]

I would say get it in writing that way he'd protected in the future

^^^ This for sure.

I'm not in a position to be certain, but I believe that even with it in writing there is a possibility she could have it struck down and come after retroactive support later on. Not sure if there's a statute of limitations on it or not.

I believe in this kind of situation he's got to either hope she sticks to her word, or eventually he will pay up.

 

[Keebler Elf]

The thing that would be a little weird is if she waited until the kid was like 15 and then went after all that time.

 

[james t kirk]

I would say get it in writing that way he'd protected in the future

I am not a lawyer, but I know a thing or two about contacts and child support.

I don't believe "getting it in writing" is a get out of jail free card. I.e. you can't have a contract that operates outside of the law. For example, you can't take out a contract to have someone killed.

If the law says you need to support your child, then you need to support your child. You can't opt out of that. Even if she says she's not going to come after you. (Though maybe you could at least document that this was her wish at the current time.)

If Oagre is on here, he could lend us his words of wisdom I'm sure.

As an aside, I find it interesting that she would choose to release your buddy from any sort of support. Either she is an honorable woman and doesn't think it right, or she wants nothing to do with your buddy and would rather just raise the child on her own free from any encumberences associated with joint custody. (In other words, she sees your friend as immature and doesn't want him in the kid's life.)

I suppose the sad part is that your friend is happy not being there for his child.

 

[SchlongConery]

FWIW...

[url]https://www.separation.ca/help-centre/child-support/retroactive-child-support/
[/URL]

"Courts can order retroactive child support for a period during which the support payor should have been paying support but was not, or was paying less support than what the recipient was entitled to under the Child Support Guidelines.
...
....
"In general, a retroactive award extending back more than 3 years before the recipient gave notice is considered inappropriate. However, particularly blameworthy conduct (such as deliberate evasion of support obligations) on the part of the payor can result in an exception to this general rule.Sometimes the custodial parent (usually the mother in this type of example) may not wish for the children to have contact with the payor parent, and she therefore does not pursue support or support increases, in order to avoid contact. If the custodial mother then, down the road, decides to pursue support from the father, courts will be unlikely to award retroactive support for the time before she gave notice of her desire for support."

 

[out4fun]

Child support is a non-negotiable and amounts due are calculated based on charts. It is deemed to be in the best interest of the child. The liability will exist even if the mother waives her right to it. She may never care to collect - but she can.

 

[mandrill]

I'm debating with a buddy of mine and figure there's probably some single fathers on TERB who might be able to settle it for us...

My buddy has a kid (2-3) with a woman and she doesn't want child support (shocking I know). They don't live together, weren't really a couple, and it was more of a casual hook up thing that got her pregnant. Surprisingly (in my mind), she's never gone after him for child support and in fact has told him several times she doesn't want it. She seems content to raise the kid on her own (and rightly or wrongly he seems content to let it be that way). He makes more than her but she makes enough to support herself and the child.

So here's our debate...

I think he's got a growing liability and at some point she can come after him for retro child support payments. He thinks he's in the clear because she's told him repeatedly she doesn't want any and regardless they're not a couple, never lived together, etc. If I'm right, he could be facing a whopper of a bill at some point down the road (unless there's some kind of statute of limitations type thing?).

If it were me I'd probably just pay it and be done with it but I know he won't. Thus our debate about the legalities of it all.

p.s., Yes, I've told him to speak to a lawyer. This is more out of my own curiosity.

Anyone know how it works?

The law protects him 100%. I practice divorce law and this comes up all the time.

She can always change her mind and he will always be potentially liable on a go-forward basis. But he is not liable for retroactive child support. That can only change when she gives him unambiguous notice that she now requires child support and that only makes him liable on a go forward basis.

 

[icespot]

The law protects him 100%. I practice divorce law and this comes up all the time.

She can always change her mind and he will always be potentially liable on a go-forward basis. But he is not liable for retroactive child support. That can only change when she gives him unambiguous notice that she now requires child support and that only makes him liable on a go forward basis.

And how much will it cost him to prove it in court, with nothing in writing and no witnesses?

Better get a proper contract, get two witnesses and have the thing file in court. If he does it himself it will cost him 500 to 1000.

Reason being is that paternity is not an issue and he has admitted to it. Also, her financial situation could change in the future and so could his. And we know that sometimes people lie about past agreements.

 

[Mr Bret]

Did not read all the posts so I apologize if repeating something that's already been said.

I think he should set up an account for the child. Put aside whatever monies he would normally be required to pay.
If she asks for money, then it's there.
If she never asks, then the child will have a decent sum to put toward a university degree, or something similar.

 

[Keebler Elf]

Thanks guys, very insightful (especially Schlong and Oagre!)

 

[CANTO]

He should also be aware that if she ever loses her job and has to go on assistance the Government might come after him for on her behalf for child support to defray their costs. I think Mr Bret has the right idea. Your buddy should be setting aside some money in case he ends up having to pay child support at a later time.

 

[mandrill]

He should also be aware that if she ever loses her job and has to go on assistance the Government might come after him for on her behalf for child support to defray their costs. I think Mr Bret has the right idea. Your buddy should be setting aside some money in case he ends up having to pay child support at a later time.

No.

They cannot claim retro support and they discontinued getting assignments from child support recipients 2 years ago. So no worries about this.

 

[mandrill]

And how much will it cost him to prove it in court, with nothing in writing and no witnesses?

Better get a proper contract, get two witnesses and have the thing file in court. If he does it himself it will cost him 500 to 1000.

Reason being is that paternity is not an issue and he has admitted to it. Also, her financial situation could change in the future and so could his. And we know that sometimes people lie about past agreements.

Well, no lawyer is going to argue against extra proof.

But if she has delayed a considerable period of time, the court will want her to show proof of pursuing child support or else draw the inference that she was disinterested, simply from the extended passage of time since the child's birth.