NOTE: I deleted the really offensive ones (well over half of the list) and cleaned up some of the derogatory references to women, so cut me some slack if I missed one or two. Its not meant to be taken literally, its just sick comedy (although I did find out that there is such a thing as a Rusty Trombone and THAT made me a little scared).
Angry Dragon
Right after she is done sucking your cock, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.
Arabian Goggles
A "seldom-seen" maneuver when you put your testicles over her eye sockets while she is cock sucking. (Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but what the fuck else is new.
The Bait N' Tackle
The sailors used this one in the old Navy days. Before you go off for a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a tall jar and fill it completely with earthworms. When you get lonely, open the jar and fuck away. The earthworms will provide some slithery stimulation, and your protein load will keep them nicely fed. Don't name them as that is sick!
Ballsacking
Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you're able to do it, always great fun. While you are straddling her, take your nutsack and spread it out over her face like pizza dough.
Bear Claw
A synonym for extremely large pussy lips.
Beef Curtain
The shanked out remains of the labia after being stretched like Play-Doh from an hour or so of fucking. If she has a bear claw to start with it helps.
Blumpy
You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.
The Bronco
You start by fucking doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.
Brown Bagging It
Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like there's no tomorrow but a face like a mangy dog. Don't lose the that smokin' body and let her hideousness stop you from fucking her though. Just draw the smiley face on a brown paper bag, place it over her head, and get to fucking. Duct taping the bag on will avoid any chance of slippage
Brown Necktie
You're about halfway through ass fucking a girl, and instead of filling up her keister with your demonseed, you pull out and proceed to tittie fuck her, leaving a brown streak between the tits.
Brunski
When a man puts his face between a woman's breasts and quickly moves his head back and forth while saying "Brunski" in a very drawn out and exaggerated manner. (There are many other variant names.)
The Bullwinkle
The sign given to a friend in hiding while doggie fucking some chick. It is performed by placing both hands over the head, with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting "Hey Rocky." (Make sure to use appropriate Bullwinkle voice tone.)
Butter Face
When you see a chick with an awesome body, "but her face", is nasty. The solution is "Brown bagging it."
The Canine Special
Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick and call over the family dog. Lick Ubu lick. Good Dog. Arf!
The Carpet Cleaner
While fucking a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her face first across the carpet. Not recommended with large women.
Cop's Delight
The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and spewing all over her "pastry buns", thus transforming her rump into the allusion of an oversized, quivering glazed donut.
The Corkscrew
Cross your fingers, middle over index. Twist your wrist back and forth and go to work on your desired orifice. With practice, you'll have the effectiveness of a dill press and within weeks you'll be able to bore through wood.
Corn
Originating from the fine campus of Cornell University comes this unique, rarely used term. Saying that a girl is "Corn" means, she is so fucking hot, so beautiful, so utterly drop-dead gorgeous, that you would happily eat the corn out of her shit.
Coyote Ugly
You wake up to the realization that the wombat you went home with the night before is now sleeping on your arm, and you’d rather gnaw it off than wake her to free it.
Dirty Sanchez
A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.
Donkey Punch
Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass. She will immediately emit a startled noise similar to a braying donkey, at which point you punch her in the back of the head. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate.
Dutch Oven
Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if you're into that sort of thing).
Dutch Treat
The unexpected result of a Dutch Oven gone terribly awry. Can be very messy.
The Electric Chair
Your psychobitch girlfriend decides she wants to try something kinky, so she props your stupid naive ass up in a chair, strips you down, and ties you up. After arousing you, she then takes a car battery and clamps two jumper cables to each nut sack. This causes you to have all sorts of synapses, spasms, and convulsions. She then mounts your Frankenstein and proceeds to get electrofucked. Warning! May cause erectile dysfunction after performed.
The Flying Camel
As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a class move.
Ham And Cheese Sandwich
Eating a woman's pussy after you ejaculate all over it. A delightful, tasty combination of her yummy meat curtains with your added cheesy topping is sure to appeal to anyone's appetite.
The Hindenburg
When you are with a chick who is so bad at oral sex that you're forced to cry "Oh! The humanity!" as her teeth scrape your man tool.
Hotdog In A Hallway
When laying the pipe, you realize your dick isn't even touching the walls of her vagina, kind of like tossing a hotdog in a hallway. Most frequently happens when banging the neighborhood tramp or if you're slinging a small dick.
Hummer
The well known added variation to a blowjob in which a broad hums her favorite tune while she sucks away. The vibrations felt against your dick will most definitely produce a healthy orgasm.
The Jedi Mind Trick
When banging your partner, you repeatedly shout "I'm NOT fucking you, I'm NOT fucking you". More effective than counting backwards from 100.
The Landshark
The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting out. (hint: She might want to wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading wrist guards to avoid serious injury.) Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff cocked, walks to the opposite end of the room, places his palms together and raises them above his head, (thus imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme to Jaws. When given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward the girl at full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and rams her dead square in the ass.
The Menthol
The act of getting head from a woman who just moments earlier ate a numerous amounts of cough drops, thus insuring a pleasurable, tingly feeling on your cock.
The Moped
A chick that's a fun ride until your friends see you on it, if you know what I mean.
The Mork
Made famous by Robin Williams on Mork & Mindy, stick your pinky and ring fingers up a girls ass, then jam your middle and index fingers in her pussy. Not complete until you yell “Nanu, Nanu”.
The Motorboat
While performing oral sex on a girl, flap your lips together on her clit, thus imitating the sound of a motorboat. She'll love you forever.
Muff Teaser
Finger, suck, eat, etc. a girl until she is begging for it. Then rub your stiffy round her golden valley until she screams at you to give her a banging. Right when her frustration is at its highest level, stop and finish with a DIY(do it yourself) handjob. Then leave the room without saying a word. Not to be tried if you want to see her again or if she knows where you live.
Mushy Biscuit
This is actually a very fun game. Just choose a piece of food that you and your male friends like to eat. Then you and your buddies form a tight circle around the food item and proceed to jerk off all over it. Last one to bust a nut gets the prize of eating the food.
The Nixon
A variation of the Bullwinkle in which you give two peace signs as your signal of dominance. May enhance the act by shaking jowls and yelling, "I'm not a crook".
Oyster
A derivation of the tea bag which is accomplished by numbing one's testicles with ice and then inserting them in a chicks mouth and letting her munch on them.
Pattycake
While you're nailing some girl doggie style and your friend is catching some head off the same girl, you get a quick game of pattycake going. This makes you reminisce of your childhood memories and eases the sight of watching your friend blow his load.
Paying The Rent
A position in which the woman is folded in half, knees above shoulders, while the man holds the back of her calves and bangs ferociously.
Angry Dragon
Right after she is done sucking your cock, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.
Arabian Goggles
A "seldom-seen" maneuver when you put your testicles over her eye sockets while she is cock sucking. (Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but what the fuck else is new.
The Bait N' Tackle
The sailors used this one in the old Navy days. Before you go off for a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a tall jar and fill it completely with earthworms. When you get lonely, open the jar and fuck away. The earthworms will provide some slithery stimulation, and your protein load will keep them nicely fed. Don't name them as that is sick!
Ballsacking
Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you're able to do it, always great fun. While you are straddling her, take your nutsack and spread it out over her face like pizza dough.
Bear Claw
A synonym for extremely large pussy lips.
Beef Curtain
The shanked out remains of the labia after being stretched like Play-Doh from an hour or so of fucking. If she has a bear claw to start with it helps.
Blumpy
You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.
The Bronco
You start by fucking doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.
Brown Bagging It
Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like there's no tomorrow but a face like a mangy dog. Don't lose the that smokin' body and let her hideousness stop you from fucking her though. Just draw the smiley face on a brown paper bag, place it over her head, and get to fucking. Duct taping the bag on will avoid any chance of slippage
Brown Necktie
You're about halfway through ass fucking a girl, and instead of filling up her keister with your demonseed, you pull out and proceed to tittie fuck her, leaving a brown streak between the tits.
Brunski
When a man puts his face between a woman's breasts and quickly moves his head back and forth while saying "Brunski" in a very drawn out and exaggerated manner. (There are many other variant names.)
The Bullwinkle
The sign given to a friend in hiding while doggie fucking some chick. It is performed by placing both hands over the head, with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting "Hey Rocky." (Make sure to use appropriate Bullwinkle voice tone.)
Butter Face
When you see a chick with an awesome body, "but her face", is nasty. The solution is "Brown bagging it."
The Canine Special
Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick and call over the family dog. Lick Ubu lick. Good Dog. Arf!
The Carpet Cleaner
While fucking a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her face first across the carpet. Not recommended with large women.
Cop's Delight
The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and spewing all over her "pastry buns", thus transforming her rump into the allusion of an oversized, quivering glazed donut.
The Corkscrew
Cross your fingers, middle over index. Twist your wrist back and forth and go to work on your desired orifice. With practice, you'll have the effectiveness of a dill press and within weeks you'll be able to bore through wood.
Corn
Originating from the fine campus of Cornell University comes this unique, rarely used term. Saying that a girl is "Corn" means, she is so fucking hot, so beautiful, so utterly drop-dead gorgeous, that you would happily eat the corn out of her shit.
Coyote Ugly
You wake up to the realization that the wombat you went home with the night before is now sleeping on your arm, and you’d rather gnaw it off than wake her to free it.
Dirty Sanchez
A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.
Donkey Punch
Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass. She will immediately emit a startled noise similar to a braying donkey, at which point you punch her in the back of the head. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate.
Dutch Oven
Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if you're into that sort of thing).
Dutch Treat
The unexpected result of a Dutch Oven gone terribly awry. Can be very messy.
The Electric Chair
Your psychobitch girlfriend decides she wants to try something kinky, so she props your stupid naive ass up in a chair, strips you down, and ties you up. After arousing you, she then takes a car battery and clamps two jumper cables to each nut sack. This causes you to have all sorts of synapses, spasms, and convulsions. She then mounts your Frankenstein and proceeds to get electrofucked. Warning! May cause erectile dysfunction after performed.
The Flying Camel
As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a class move.
Ham And Cheese Sandwich
Eating a woman's pussy after you ejaculate all over it. A delightful, tasty combination of her yummy meat curtains with your added cheesy topping is sure to appeal to anyone's appetite.
The Hindenburg
When you are with a chick who is so bad at oral sex that you're forced to cry "Oh! The humanity!" as her teeth scrape your man tool.
Hotdog In A Hallway
When laying the pipe, you realize your dick isn't even touching the walls of her vagina, kind of like tossing a hotdog in a hallway. Most frequently happens when banging the neighborhood tramp or if you're slinging a small dick.
Hummer
The well known added variation to a blowjob in which a broad hums her favorite tune while she sucks away. The vibrations felt against your dick will most definitely produce a healthy orgasm.
The Jedi Mind Trick
When banging your partner, you repeatedly shout "I'm NOT fucking you, I'm NOT fucking you". More effective than counting backwards from 100.
The Landshark
The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting out. (hint: She might want to wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading wrist guards to avoid serious injury.) Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff cocked, walks to the opposite end of the room, places his palms together and raises them above his head, (thus imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme to Jaws. When given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward the girl at full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and rams her dead square in the ass.
The Menthol
The act of getting head from a woman who just moments earlier ate a numerous amounts of cough drops, thus insuring a pleasurable, tingly feeling on your cock.
The Moped
A chick that's a fun ride until your friends see you on it, if you know what I mean.
The Mork
Made famous by Robin Williams on Mork & Mindy, stick your pinky and ring fingers up a girls ass, then jam your middle and index fingers in her pussy. Not complete until you yell “Nanu, Nanu”.
The Motorboat
While performing oral sex on a girl, flap your lips together on her clit, thus imitating the sound of a motorboat. She'll love you forever.
Muff Teaser
Finger, suck, eat, etc. a girl until she is begging for it. Then rub your stiffy round her golden valley until she screams at you to give her a banging. Right when her frustration is at its highest level, stop and finish with a DIY(do it yourself) handjob. Then leave the room without saying a word. Not to be tried if you want to see her again or if she knows where you live.
Mushy Biscuit
This is actually a very fun game. Just choose a piece of food that you and your male friends like to eat. Then you and your buddies form a tight circle around the food item and proceed to jerk off all over it. Last one to bust a nut gets the prize of eating the food.
The Nixon
A variation of the Bullwinkle in which you give two peace signs as your signal of dominance. May enhance the act by shaking jowls and yelling, "I'm not a crook".
Oyster
A derivation of the tea bag which is accomplished by numbing one's testicles with ice and then inserting them in a chicks mouth and letting her munch on them.
Pattycake
While you're nailing some girl doggie style and your friend is catching some head off the same girl, you get a quick game of pattycake going. This makes you reminisce of your childhood memories and eases the sight of watching your friend blow his load.
Paying The Rent
A position in which the woman is folded in half, knees above shoulders, while the man holds the back of her calves and bangs ferociously.
