I feel like such a whore!

Woa is me. I lost my Diret TV feed in S. Ont when the grey market middle man in OK went straight to (a) The Bahamas b) The Slammer. I actually gave in to the screaming kids and inproved the cable package. I really miss the satellite and can't beieve I'm paying the market price class for Class B performance.
I'd compare Cogeco (my first review) to:
Type - Redhead
Age 24
Height: 5'2" (Has trouble seeing over the competiton's 5'10" blonde bimbos in the front row).
Built for crusing and not for speed!
Discount - Took the Early Bird Special - $2.00 off on internet if I paid the following money shot.
Donation: $70.00 per month cable + $39.00 internet
From basic to digital + choice of old B Rated movies - 2 boxes
Driver had to come to the door twice before she got the job right.
"Overbooked" 1 shot Sally - no value for the service
I don't think English was her first or second laugauge - push the button and the volume only increases.
Greek not available on basic cable.
Russian left rubber marks on my dick . . .
Oriental needs an adaptor before I could get her to fuck on my TV set. The fitting on the female socket is a size too small and I suspect reverse threads.
One positive note: she will keep working the street during bad weather when the competion packs up and goes home.
The blondes have to be pointed towards the southern sky and will cease service when half a degree off bubble. The cable SP's durability makes grown post men weep . . .
Bit of a clock watcher as she wouldn't give a minute over the paid time. Asked for money up front.
Overall rating.
Marginally better than turning the TV off and looking for an auto-erotic experience.
Repeat ? Only if I can't find a blonde bimbo that forgets to ask for her payment on services rendered. I love freebies!!
Does anybody know how to get programming on a P4 card?
COITO ERGO SUM
The Challenger