Do tats on a woman mean she is trashy?

[RTRD]

Responses...

Just because your ex-trainer had many issues and tattoos doesn't mean every or even most body modded people are this way. There are many different, valid reasons for designing your look in order to stand out, it's not just about being angry at the world. Please see my unfortunately, and conveniently, ignored last post in this thread.

Oh, I understand this point. But my life experience is what it is...and beyond that, it still does indicate a misalignment with MY values, mores, etc. The very fact that a person could and would do such a thing means our thought processes and lifestyles simply are not aligned, and accordingly, we probably aren't going to be compatible.

I read your post. And you might very well be a real decent guy - and a very successful one. But just the bit you shared about your style indicates to me that we aren't of the same mindset, probably aren't into the same stuff, and more than likely will not have much in common.

Despite that, we might still be able to be friends. I have a long time casual friend who you reminded me of with your self description. And I like him a lot...we don't hang out much because we live in different countries...and when we get together we fight like cats and dogs...but it is all good because we both respect each others intellect...so it is more like fun mental jousting.

But I couldn't date - or live with him (setting aside for a moment the fact that I am not gay, and I hate sharing my personal space). And for all of his...err...uniqueness...he has never done anything that couldn't be "undone" when appropriate...his tats cannot be seen when he is dressed, he keeps the more "interesting" parts of his lifestyle private (Polyamory and some lifestyle dungeons and dragons thing he is into) and his personal track record of successes and failure leans more toward the former than the later.

And Achtung Baby's analogy of skin colour is not that far off, or wasn't a few decades ago. People WOULD judge you for your race, religion, or sexuality. This is not that much different.

No, its WAY off.

You are right people would (and still do) make judgments based on the things you listed.

But in the case of race...it is a judgment about who or what you might be...not about your decision making, life choices, etc.

Getting a tattoo is a choice. Getting a lot if them is a choice. Getting so many that they become a singular and absolute definer and characteristic of you to all that see you is another. My judgment is based on that choice.

Knowing what it is like to be judged without someone taking time to get to know me, and the price that sometimes comes with, I cannot fathom how fucked up a person might be that would purposely bring this upon themselves.

It is THAT rational and mindset that worries me. And while I understand your point about correlation versus causation, to me it is irrelevant, because the outcome is the same. We are talking about one fucked up person, and I just as well not integrate my life too much into theirs. Which came first...the tats or the train wreck life...is of no consequence at this point, since they are both now present.

 

[Esco!]

This probably is one of the most interesting threads I have seen on terb in a long time.

Tattoos are an expression of ones self. My tattoos tell the story of my life. Each and every one has been done at a turning point in my life. Some have been turning points for the better, some have been for the worse. Yet each one stands for a major change I have gone through.

In total I have 6 tattoos. One is a very large lower back 'tramp stamp' the rest are smaller.

Does this mean I am trashy? Hell I highly doubt people will use my tattoos to decide that. I think im going to have to battle the stereotypes of my job before the stereotypes of my tattoos.

However I am more often then not told I am a very classy person who is well spoken and pleasant to be around. I am also educated and well dressed.

Guess im a trashy classy kinda gal

BTW...when are you and your tramp stamps hitting T.O again??
I'll have to do a little tattooing of my own.......he he he

 

[fuji]

may I ask who the hell you think you are to judge people?

Someone who has to decide who is worth my time, and who is not worth my time. Everyone faces that decision. Some people wind up with higher quality friends and partners. Other people fail to make that decision and wind up hanging around with people on, as MLAM said, a "17 year losing streak".

Since your friends, acquaintances, and partners over time have such an enormous effect on your own self, the decision of who you are going to engage with in any significant way is, in the long run, a decision about who you will become.

Surround yourself with human train wrecks and eventually you yourself stand a good chance of becoming a human train wreck.

Surround yourself with intelligent, successful, well grounded people and in the long run they will help you keep your own life on track too.

No one has that right.

On the contrary; no-one can avoid making judgements about those around them. Some people make those judgements carefully with consideration; other people make those judgements by default.

What people do is their business and if you don't agree with it, then move on because you don't need that negativity in your life. Judging people at first is just plain wrong.

I take some short cuts in assessing people. I give a well spoken, well dressed person who is a friend of my friend significantly more time to show me what sort of person he or she is, than I give the homeless guy who asks me for spare change and who stinks to high heaven. I am not fair. I can't afford to be--I have too much to do.

They might even have more education than your friends, including yourself.

I agree with you; and current wealth is not one of the factors I judge people on. In this thread we're talking about tats. A lot of garish tats show up as a bit minus on my ledger of assessing what sort of person I will invest my time in getting to know. That person would have to have some equally superficial big plusses before I'd spend time on them.

 

[lawyerman]

Someone who has to decide who is worth my time, and who is not worth my time. Everyone faces that decision. Some people wind up with higher quality friends and partners. Other people fail to make that decision and wind up hanging around with people on, as MLAM said, a "17 year losing streak".

Since your friends, acquaintances, and partners over time have such an enormous effect on your own self, the decision of who you are going to engage with in any significant way is, in the long run, a decision about who you will become.

Surround yourself with human train wrecks and eventually you yourself stand a good chance of becoming a human train wreck.

Surround yourself with intelligent, successful, well grounded people and in the long run they will help you keep your own life on track too.



On the contrary; no-one can avoid making judgements about those around them. Some people make those judgements carefully with consideration; other people make those judgements by default.




I take some short cuts in assessing people. I give a well spoken, well dressed person who is a friend of my friend significantly more time to show me what sort of person he or she is, than I give the homeless guy who asks me for spare change and who stinks to high heaven. I am not fair. I can't afford to be--I have too much to do.



I agree with you; and current wealth is not one of the factors I judge people on. In this thread we're talking about tats. A lot of garish tats show up as a bit minus on my ledger of assessing what sort of person I will invest my time in getting to know. That person would have to have some equally superficial big plusses before I'd spend time on them.

I completely agree with you in the respect that being with successful people can make you successful.

Very good post fuji.

The only part that I did disagree with you is that you said you judge people.
No one has the right to judge anyone. Period.

 

[Ashley Tyler]

BTW...when are you and your tramp stamps hitting T.O again??
I'll have to do a little tattooing of my own.......he he he

lol the Christmas party next week

 

[Bud Plug]

Are they still cool/attractive when you get old?

Does anyone think they still are cool or look good once the underlying skin starts to sag, or wrinkles and/or the tat fades?

This is a sincere question. I know what my opinion is. However, if others think they are still great even after they degrade, then it just must be another case of different opinions that can't be reconciled. It would explain to me why people get them, despite knowing what will happen to them over time.

 

[digdoo]

Does the tramp stamp mean they have an inclanation to take it in the wazoo?

 

[dreamblade]

Does anyone think they still are cool or look good once the underlying skin starts to sag, or wrinkles and/or the tat fades?

This is a sincere question. I know what my opinion is. However, if others think they are still great even after they degrade, then it just must be another case of different opinions that can't be reconciled. It would explain to me why people get them, despite knowing what will happen to them over time.

It all depends on your artist and how you take care of it after. If well done, tats can look good for a lifetime. The colour may fade a bit, but other than that they're fine.

 

[dreamblade]

yes....which proves my point even more.....i didn't single out skin colour...i said "the things you mentioned"....which would automatically include religion and sexuality...so, are you agreeing with me that it's a lot different?

Nope, you misunderstood me. Just as some people have this inexplicable drive to paint or sculpt, some use their bodies a canvas. It's just how they are.

i dont think people who get tattoos actually think long term.

Wrong. Some people don't think longterm when they get inked, it's true. But then again, some will get a pet or have a child on a whim as well. As I keep trying to tell you and the other detractors, people get tattoos for different reasons, esthetics is just one of many.

 

[dreamblade]

Oh, I understand this point. But my life experience is what it is...and beyond that, it still does indicate a misalignment with MY values, mores, etc. (...)
Which came first...the tats or the train wreck life...is of no consequence at this point, since they are both now present.

You put that first part very eloquently, and I'll tip my hat to you for that. BTW, the lifestyle D&D thing is called LARPing.

As for your second part, it seems to me that you're basing your experience with this woman as a template for every "weird" person you may encounter in the future. Be very careful, in that. There are many more trainwreck people, both male and female, than there are urban primitives.

 

[torex]

tattoos,this industry,drugs,smoking,whatever ... it's not for everyone ,people have their own views about everything ....alot of mainstream folk would shun us out here ...they do,we know that...at least tattooing is an art and expression of ones self/life and becomming far more acceptable in society unlike this hobby.

I have alot of tattoo work ...I can't even count anymore ,I just go by hours and I'm up around the 100plus ...it's addictive for some strange reason..my art can be covered with a dress shirt,people wouldnt have a clue unless I wear a tshirt and reveal full sleeve... another freind of mine who runs a lrg multi million dollar business is full sleeved ,plus full back,his brother to.....I don't know ...it's all stereotype ,it's ridiculous ...to each his own ...who is anyone to judge...it's a way of life some can't understand ,thats all,simple

personally ...I love women ,tattooed or not

 

[5hummer]

It means they have self-esteem issues ...just like a male with tattoos.

 

[Angela@Mirage]

It means they have self-esteem issues ...just like a male with tattoos.

Actually, an individual who unfortunately judges another human being for whatever reason, exhibits self-esteem issues.

 

[lusciouslin33]

I concur.
Those that judge based on their own biases show much more insecurity than those of us that use our skin to tell our story.
To Torex...I empathise with you completely.
I have full leg sleeve, full arm sleeve, full back, etc. and unless I want them to be seen, one would be led to believe that I am sweet and innocent.lol
Okay, maybe not so innocent since I also have piercings but sweet nonetheless.
Also, for the record, it takes a lot of inner strength and confidence to walk this earth with your head held high and I support anybody that does whatever it takes to help them get through this maze.
One could say that those who visit SP's also have a lot of insecurity, hence settling for such a rendez vous.
When you're willing to settle for less than you deserve, it automatically shows sides of insecurity, lack of confidence or some self loathing.
So, right or wrong, good or bad, if we can go to bed at night and feel happy, proud and confident in our choices, then that is all that matters.
If you are so close minded as to think someone with ink is trashy, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your own life and realise that life goes on and in the end, on our deathbeds, not one person ever wishes they had worked more, had more money or ostracized people based on their experiences.
Take it from me, I am present for approximately 3 deaths per week.
All they ever lament is the lack of love in their life and the inability to make things different.
So, instead of negating someone based on their ink, maybe take a second and think about what YOU can do in your own world to help open your hearts and minds.

 

[fuji]

Actually, an individual who unfortunately judges another human being for whatever reason, exhibits self-esteem issues.

Loser's talk. That's the sort of thing people say when they haven't got options. I choose who my friends are. I don't accept just anybody.

ANYBODY who is picky about who they associate with is implicitly judging people.

People who aren't picky about who they hang out with.. well there's insecurity for you.

 

[Angela@Mirage]

Loser's talk. That's the sort of thing people say when they haven't got options. I choose who my friends are. I don't accept just anybody.

ANYBODY who is picky about who they associate with is implicitly judging people.

People who aren't picky about who they hang out with.. well there's insecurity for you.

Fugi, earlier today, i politely requested that you bypass my posts, It is quite evident to people in this forum, that we do not see eye to eye. Let's stop banging our heads together, and simply move on.

 

[dreamblade]

The way I see it, it's all about being mainstream. Conform, look, and think, like everyone else.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zV5UTHRx0a4

 

[RTRD]

And I also bet...

If you are so close minded as to think someone with ink is trashy, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your own life and realise that life goes on and in the end, on our deathbeds, not one person ever wishes they had worked more, had more money or ostracized people based on their experiences.

...they don't think "I wish i had wasted more of my life dealing with people I didn't like".

I get to decide who I wish to spend time with, just like you do (and have - voraciously - your rants about the people you meet and how they aren't worthy of your time and / or affections are legendary). I still say all this gnashing of teeth is because you (and others) do not like that MY criteria hits so close to home, when the bottom line is, you wouldn't like me, my car, my suits, or my lifestyle either. And while you can PRETEND you wouldn't judge me based on those things, you know you would...and do.

 

[lusciouslin33]

Maybe you give yourself too much credit, MLAM..because I can personally guarantee you that once I'm done skimming over your posts, I have zero thoughts of you, meaning you're no one to me thus having no emotion one way or the other.
So, to like you or dislike you is impossible.
Regardless, you are wrong in your comment about people wishing they had spent less time dealing with people they didnt like. In fact, many people on the precipice of death DO in fact wish they had been more accepting and loving.

 

[RTRD]

No...

Maybe you give yourself too much credit, MLAM..because I can personally guarantee you that once I'm done skimming over your posts, I have zero thoughts of you, meaning you're no one to me thus having no emotion one way or the other.

So, to like you or dislike you is impossible.

..but me thinks you wish I had hoped you did. Re read what I wrote. It doesn't say anything about you giving thought to me post reading and reacting to a post. It DOES say if you were to encounter me (or someone of my ilk). And you HAVE made your feelings known about persons like me and my ilk. "Suits" I think you called them.

So anxious to gnash teeth and to stomp feet....

Regardless, you are wrong in your comment about people wishing they had spent less time dealing with people they didnt like. In fact, many people on the precipice of death DO in fact wish they had been more accepting and loving.

...which has nothing to do with dealing with people you don't like.

Doesn't matter anyway....I and apparently others...see no need to socialize with the angry and self abusive. If you see something noble in doing so...go forth and make the world a better place.