Agree. A long ago in retail l made friends of clients...reluctantly...so im sure it happens in all industies...ymwv.
Do you consider your all-time regular as a friend?
- Thread starter Tashki
- Start date
I will probably say yes. We talk regularly about what's going on with each other's lives like epals. We give each other moral support. We did have one off the clock moment of hanging out, but for the most part I visit her when I get the chance as I enjoy her company and want her to succeed in her goals. Not a conventional friendship, but a friendship nonetheless.
To answer the OP's question, the answer is yes. I have a selective few with whom I have tremendous relationship. We know each others' real names and even DOB's, and some have visited my place. I know where they attend school and what they study and they know where I work, my position and the degrees I have obtained,. Relationship is more amicable when we both have similar hobbies. We travel to ski in the Rockies and Laurentian, and to enjoy the dual massage in the spas. We even attend martial arts classes together and also slip in some practice after our regular sessions. Being polite, gentle, hygienic and respectful go a long way.
O
OnTheWayOut
I am good friends with two SP from HK who left without telling me ...... they got deported. We still stay in touch via WhatsApp and are still friends.
Have you ever watched the Friends episode about money? It explains in a quirky way how finances can play into friendships. It happens even outside of sex work.
If you're paying her/paying for her to accompany you to these places then she probably isn't your friend. Not to say there isn't some kind of relationship between you two.
yup. that would be the litmus test. Show up without any money and see how good friends you are. As someone else pointed out, it is hard enough to be friends with civilians. My regular is ok with me as a customer, but I have noticed she is showing signs of taking me for granted. because I have been too nice to her.
I highly doubt any ladies would consider their regular anything more than a paying customer. Some of them might be more friendly, but thats is just customer service. Same as me going to the my regular pizza store, they would be nice to me and some time throw in something for free once in a while, but after all, I am just a customer, I wouldn't think for a sec they would consider me as a friend.
Unfortunately my answer is no.
Friendly absolutely but not a friend by my very stringent definition. I've spent the better part of the last 10yrs curating my friend's list, its very small but consist of folks I would donate an organ to, raise their kids incase of on untimely death and of course help bury a body if need be. lol
I cant in good conscience say I have a regular that has made it to my friends list and thats ok. I'm super professional, engaging, honest and thoughtful with my clients and after a while we definitely become more acquainted with each other on a physical and emotional level, its the kind of intimacy that allows us both to be vulnerable and feel safe. The transactional nature of this work doesn't diminish the connection I share with my regulars but I would never lie to them about any potential of our relationship crossing the boundary into what I consider a true friendship.
Friendly absolutely but not a friend by my very stringent definition. I've spent the better part of the last 10yrs curating my friend's list, its very small but consist of folks I would donate an organ to, raise their kids incase of on untimely death and of course help bury a body if need be. lol
I cant in good conscience say I have a regular that has made it to my friends list and thats ok. I'm super professional, engaging, honest and thoughtful with my clients and after a while we definitely become more acquainted with each other on a physical and emotional level, its the kind of intimacy that allows us both to be vulnerable and feel safe. The transactional nature of this work doesn't diminish the connection I share with my regulars but I would never lie to them about any potential of our relationship crossing the boundary into what I consider a true friendship.
There are times when I had to insist to pay them at least the social rates, like going to a movie or to a restaurant, and there are times like going to a gym where we would have minimal interaction, I'd insist to pay for her membership and sports gears. I am talking about someones whom I have been seeing for multiple years. I could not bear to see them all stressed out towards the end of the month to meet rent payments. This is their livelihood after all and I care for them too much (as a friend) to take advantage of them.
Yes absolutely! I consider kherg007 and jsmoove to be good friends of mine. I’ve seen them both for a couple of years now. I’ve mentioned to both that if I retire I’d still hang out with them. I even invited kherg007 to have drinks with me at the bar in his hotel for an hour before going upstairs to enjoy a session. I told him he didn’t have to pay for the social time. I genuinely enjoyed spending that extra time with him. I often allow him to run 15 - 30 minutes over time and I don’t ask him to pay for it. He would apologize profusely for going overtime not realizing that I’m the one that allowed it!
Also Jsmoove won my December contest for a free 90 minute dinner date. We had such a good time together and it felt so natural getting out of the hobbyists/SP element. I shared personal information with him that I trusted telling him wholeheartedly. I really enjoyed spending that time with him! When in session I allow him to run overtime to and I don’t mind at all they’ve earned that right! They check in on me to make sure I’m doing ok and I do the same with them!
They have both been seeing me for a very long time and I appreciate them both that I don’t mind giving them little treats like that every now and then. They support me and my business. Isn’t that what friends do? Support each other? When these gents come to pay for my time they are supporting my business and supporting me and my well being. Don’t real friends do that to? I have a friend that does my hair and nails. I’d rather pay her my money and support her than to go to a stranger. It’s a business transaction. Does that mean we’re not friends now? So you see just because money is involved doesn’t mean you cannot have a true and genuine friendship. Don’t get me wrong I’m not close friends with all my clients the way I’m close friends with kherg007 and jsmoove but that’s because they have seen me often enough that it gave me the opportunity to really get to know them as a person and they truly got to know me to. Thank you gentlemen for all your love and support! You’ve truly been a blessing in my life! Wish I could hug you right now!!!!
Also Jsmoove won my December contest for a free 90 minute dinner date. We had such a good time together and it felt so natural getting out of the hobbyists/SP element. I shared personal information with him that I trusted telling him wholeheartedly. I really enjoyed spending that time with him! When in session I allow him to run overtime to and I don’t mind at all they’ve earned that right! They check in on me to make sure I’m doing ok and I do the same with them!
They have both been seeing me for a very long time and I appreciate them both that I don’t mind giving them little treats like that every now and then. They support me and my business. Isn’t that what friends do? Support each other? When these gents come to pay for my time they are supporting my business and supporting me and my well being. Don’t real friends do that to? I have a friend that does my hair and nails. I’d rather pay her my money and support her than to go to a stranger. It’s a business transaction. Does that mean we’re not friends now? So you see just because money is involved doesn’t mean you cannot have a true and genuine friendship. Don’t get me wrong I’m not close friends with all my clients the way I’m close friends with kherg007 and jsmoove but that’s because they have seen me often enough that it gave me the opportunity to really get to know them as a person and they truly got to know me to. Thank you gentlemen for all your love and support! You’ve truly been a blessing in my life! Wish I could hug you right now!!!!
I agree, Dawn. You really sound like a special person.
There are certainly constraints inside a professional relationship that complicate the matter. But I have a couple of 'special friends'. They are people who I like and admire, for whom I feel warm, persistent affection, who give my spirits a lift when I see/hear from them, whose well-being is of concern to me, with whom I keep in touch. Feels like friendship to me.
Bottom line, It a pleasurable business transactions for both parties! ?At most, We can be friendly toward each other. Nothing more after that. I figured she probably wants her privacy and as clients you may want that too.
"Do we consider them friends" and "are we actually friends" are two completely different things.
Do we consider them friends:
Someone mentioned that your favorite spending free time with you is only because they may consider you a good client, don't mind hanging out with you for free and perhaps mainly because they don't want to lose you as a client. I feel most times this is likely the case. Someone else mentioned that their idea of friendship is not the same as their favorite's idea of friendship. I also feel most times this is the case.
Are we actually friends:
The real answer is, you will never truly know until they leave the industry. Until they do, I feel it's best to never get too emotionally involved
Do we consider them friends:
Someone mentioned that your favorite spending free time with you is only because they may consider you a good client, don't mind hanging out with you for free and perhaps mainly because they don't want to lose you as a client. I feel most times this is likely the case. Someone else mentioned that their idea of friendship is not the same as their favorite's idea of friendship. I also feel most times this is the case.
Are we actually friends:
The real answer is, you will never truly know until they leave the industry. Until they do, I feel it's best to never get too emotionally involved
