Do you really pay the girls to leave at the end? (Warning: downer thread)

[TeasePlease]

I honestly think you will never have a good time with someone. Your esteem is entirely too low. That is what you need to spend your time and money on instead of trying to use this industry to fill that void.

This

That feeling the OP has about the void...it can happen to anyone, even the guy who hobbies but has the wife/career/whatever outward success you define. Hobbying is about temporarily filling that void; it’s better at filling some voids than others.

 

[sempel]

Yeah, shit happens. Even lucky people can find themselves in unfortunate situations once in a while. But not every man fits under one of those categories. Most people have decent relationships with women who love them and when it ends, it's not the end of the world because there's always someone else out there. When you're ultra-ugly, there's no one out there for you.

Anyway, I had a girlfriend over a decade ago when I was in high school and I messed up that relationship completely. The reason I felt the need to mention that was because I know what it is like when a woman genuinely likes you; I've been on both sides of the fence. Could it be that the grass truly might be greener on the other side?


Don't get me wrong, I appreciate it for what it is. In fact, I probably enjoy the small talk before and after the sex more than the deed itself. There was maybe one girl I saw that seemed really distant in terms of talking but she was so good in bed that I was impressed. But I know that none of these girls would give me the time of day if I wasn't paying. I'd rather just hang out and go to a concert or watch a movie or something instead of having sex...

Believe me, I truly am Quasimodo. Looks aren't the end all, be all of romance, but it is scientifically proven that you need to meet a bare minimum in terms of looks to be "dateable". But I absolutely agree, this isn't a substitute for a relationship and I never expected it to be.

The first bolded statement is false. It maybe more difficult, it might mean certain ladies might not like you, but I believe there's always someone somewhere out there for everybody. Your problem is you are placing looks as the most important thing for people when considering a partner and it's as if nothing else even matters. That's not true - there are many people attracted to others for a variety of reasons. There used to be episodes of Springer or Maury entitled "opposites attract" where they'd bring out one person and then their SO and the differences were extreme. A model-type young hottie was married to a middle-aged, balding short guy. A clean cut businessman was married to an African American dwarf, etc. Humans are complex and have a complex brain and we are all wired to like different things. If you take a poll asking people if a well-known actress is gorgeous, there will be some who say no (I know people who hate Angelina Jolie's look).

The second line is sadly just a fact of this industry for some guys. You have to just accept it. But please note that there are many non-SW relationships where one partner is mostly with the other because of money and if that was removed, the relationship wouldn't continue - I personally feel Melania Trump fits into this category. Meanwhile you had Hugh Hefner with all his girls and I remember one of them (these being young, blond model-types) left him only because she wanted more (marriage, kids). So it wasn't necessarily just about money.

Try and frame it that you are paying for time. What you do during that time is between you and her. IF you enjoy chatting/movies/etc., maybe you pay for social dates. If it's about sex, realize that the lady always has the right of refusal and there are some guys out there who 5 min in get the boot because of some reason (or are refused a repeat visit). If these ladies continue the session and you have sex, you are doing enough right. I will say indy women certainly have more choice/flexibility in some cases to decline so maybe that's something for you to consider. Set up a meet with one of the more popular SP's on here who appear to be able to choose their clients. If all goes well for you, that's a sign of something.

My Man, you're either over-thinking "hobbying" or just not ready (or suited) for it. Looks are not paramount. You have to identify your skills ("You know like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills”, then own them. Confidence will follow, and you'll be better equipped to find that someone. Back in school, a good friend wasn't particularly fit or attractive, but declared himself (and was) "the Brad Pitt of MBA final exam preparation", and there were girls that found this attractive. (The self-deprecation combined with confidence).

If you want to continue "hobbying", some advice for you to consider:
- Start following indy sp's twitter's etc. so you can identify potential compatibility
- If you're self conscious about your physical appearance, try finding an SP whom is not a "textbook 10". There are many experienced, wonderful ladies on this board that provide super-star service, but guys meeting them for the first time will still rip them with 5-6/10 on looks. Fuck looks. Focus on finding an SP that you have sexual chemistry with.

great points

 

[hamermill]

Nope I pay to eat pussy, get my dick sucked, get fucked well and best part stick my dick in her ass and pound away.

 

[rhuarc29]

I honestly think guys have it easier because most women don't insist on only dating 9s or 10s whereas with hobbyists they tend to only want to date or see providers/women who are 9s or 10s.

I believe that's only half right. As a hobbyist, I do tend to seek out 8s, 9s and 10s in the industry. And why not? That's what I'm paying for. I wouldn't pay the price of a Lexus for a Hyundai if I could instead get a Lexus.

However, when dating, I have found I definitely don't prefer those ladies. There are exceptions of course, but many of these 9s and 10s are severely lacking in personality appropriate for a life companion. For lack of a better term, I prefer to date "ordinary" ladies. Aside from the plus that such ladies are often vastly more interesting, with much more desirable personalities, it's not that difficult to find something physical about her that I'm attracted to. Maybe she was really pretty eyes. Maybe she has incredible hair. Maybe she has a certain way of smiling that makes me hot under the collar. Hell, the girl I dated in high school had the best ass I think I've ever seen, even now! I'd rather date that woman than a shallow woman who focuses more on how she appears outwards than who she is as a person.

 

[Samranchoi]

For me I haven't had any good experiences with guys who would be considered model material because they are used to people complimenting them and asking them about themselves, they don't tend to have much to offer personality wise or be very reciprocal so I know for me attraction depends on many factors and not just looks alone.

But that’s all that I have going for me. I guess I will have to forget about seeing you if you are not going to worship me during our time together. And of course I jest but this has given me an idea for a question to be asked.........

 

[foru2discover]

Consider this :

Guy #1 - You.

Guy #2 - Guy goes to university, works hard and gets a wife that has fantasies of living the life of the mega rich. They are comfortable but always have to watch their pennies. He is the stereotypical nagged husband. Reminded all the time that he is a failure. Never divorced because of the kids.

Guy #3 - He gets involved with a woman that just wanted a SO and not be single. Years go by and her father leaves her a substantial amount of money. Now in her 50s she no longer needs him and ejects him from her home. He struggles financially in his 60s.


Guy #4 - He has a business and does well, she hooks on to him to have a home and not work. He gives her a car, they have individual motorcycles and finances her business. Later he discovers that she is out doing coke and having sex with dudes ( that have coke ). He is devastated and starts to hit the bottle.

................which one of these dudes do you want to be? The grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence.

GUY#5 has no trouble getting women around his age , has a full life of everything he worked hard for and a great family life....
he just likes to have some fun once in a while as a hobby with a much younger girl and yes pays her to leave ...does not want an affair with all the strings
Just a good fuck with some young tight pussy....
BTW everyone has their own # and their own story for being here in the hobby ...
Just be respectful to yourself and the girls you see and enjoy!

 

[Mr. Blond]

I eat pussy, get my dick sucked, get fucked well, stick my dick in her ass and pound away.

Lol. I’m pretty sure I read this on a T-Shirt

 

[SeahawksFan]

My next question is then why don't you do some social paid dates with ladies to find someone you enjoy your time with first before proceeding physically or at all. Most independents and some agency ladies will offer social dates too.

If a guy is not enjoying seeing SPs because he knows he can only get them with money then going on “paid dates” will be even worse for him. If he wants companionship that is much easier to get without paying and he could wind up spending time with attractive women for free (there are all kinds of hobbies with attractive women who will make good company and not care about whether the guy is attractive as long as he doesn’t give off a creepy vibe). Once he builds up his confidence and satisfies his need for companionship he might be able to enjoy seeing SPs to take care of sexual fantasies that he can’t satisfy with the women in his real life.

 

[wazup]

If you're already paranoid, you shouldn't go on paid dates, the slightest move on her part will make your paranoia worse, her looking at her watch etc. The reality is is that most of the time they can't wait to leave or for us to leave.

If we ever saw an sp in real life she would probably jump into a sewer rather than talk with us

 

[Greekgod69]

My next question is then why don't you do some social paid dates with ladies to find someone you enjoy your time with first before proceeding physically or at all. Most independents and some agency ladies will offer social dates too.

I know it's going to make me look bad but I'm going to be honest anyway: I have toyed around with the idea in my mind but the reality is that my pockets aren't bottomless and I can't afford to spend $200 per hour for a girl to just hang out with me. Plus, paying someone just to spend time with me platonically isn't going to make me feel less lonely/alienated. At least when you pay for sex, you can temporarily satisfy the sexual frustration...

 

[Smallcock]

Thanks for sharing I still think the majority of hobbyists only want to associate with ladies who are 9-10s and many don't care about personality, kindness, intelligence etc. But it's always nice to hear that some care about multiple layers of someone's personalities and not just looks.

Every hobbiest cares about personality and every hobbiest has their own idea of 9s and 10s (some like them big, some like them small, and everything in between). If you're paying hundreds of dollars per hour to have sex with someone, sex and attraction obviously are top priority. All the rest - great personality, big brainer, kindness - can be easily had for free in daily life. Once you quit this job and start getting paid a common wage, you'll appreciate the amount of time, work, and budgeting it takes for most men to see escorts for a short rendezvous.

 

[Samranchoi]

Ok, some tough words here. And I am just going to say a couple of things to keep it simple. First of all, lose the online name. The very first thing I thought of when you started this thread was it was just BS. A story, fairy tale, nothing more. Second, even if the storey is true, which I highly doubt, I just have a short question, "WTF is wrong with you!!!!". Ok I am done.

 

[sempel]

I believe that's only half right. As a hobbyist, I do tend to seek out 8s, 9s and 10s in the industry. And why not? That's what I'm paying for. I wouldn't pay the price of a Lexus for a Hyundai if I could instead get a Lexus.
.

Every person has the choice of which provider to see and if he wants to base it on looks so be it. However, I have never considered ratings on looks in any way when making a decision as (1) people's ratings are subjective and one man's 1 is another's 10. (2) High marks for looks is no guarantee of good service. If anything (and this somewhat seems to apply to MPA's more than SP's) a lady who is hot according to most is more likely to be less service oriented, relying on her looks to make up for it.

I know it's going to make me look bad but I'm going to be honest anyway: I have toyed around with the idea in my mind but the reality is that my pockets aren't bottomless and I can't afford to spend $200 per hour for a girl to just hang out with me. Plus, paying someone just to spend time with me platonically isn't going to make me feel less lonely/alienated. At least when you pay for sex, you can temporarily satisfy the sexual frustration...

Yeah, this is pretty much where you lose the case. You say throughout you feel this void but aren't willing to do something deep about it and instead go for the sex. Nothing wrong with that except it sounds like your problem is unsolvable.

 

[surferboy]

Had a co worker a few years back that didn't have looks on his side either, went onto Christian mingle or E harmony & as that guy says on the radio you'll find the perfect match based on...awh fuk I'm to intoxicated to remember the rest but long story short he did find his match. They both enjoy chess, church, cats, dungeons & dragons & shit that i'd never be into too but wtf there happy! Got invited to the wedding & was asked to be the MC & i'm thinking to myself bad idea I'll have too much to drink & somehow a fat or ugly joke will slip out!

Next time you think about paying for sex save that money & buy yourself some new duds or a gym membership & start building up that self confidence bud, no women wants a guy that's insecure. You had a girlfriend before no reason you can't find another one. These girls provide a great service but obviously not what you need. Your perfect match is out there...you just gotta put the effort into finding it. Report back in a few months & let us know what progress you've made....if your perfect match from e harmony turns out to be a chess loving blonde nympho you owe me!

 

[TFZL1]

The question is figurative. As the old saying goes, you don't pay an escort to sleep with you, you pay her to leave when you're done. A lot of men in the hobby tell themselves that they are doing this to get sex without the complications that a relationship brings, but how true is it for you personally, reader? I, personally, see escorts at a relatively young age (my late 20s) because I am too physically unattractive to get a girl (I won't go into the details but trust me on this).

After most sessions I actually feel morally bankrupt. I can never really get into a sesh because I am aware what a burden sex with me must be. It is a task that is definitely worth every penny I pay, and maybe more. In the end, even if the sex feels nice, it never really fills the void in my soul as I leave each session fully lucid of the fact that my "best years" have passed me by and this is all I have to look forward to for the next 50 years. While my peers were partying and falling in love, moving up in their careers, getting married, and starting families, I was working 9-5 to throw away hundreds of dollars for a young woman to barely tolerate my presence for 60 mintes.

I am just wondering if anyone else on here feels like this or if you're all just cool dudes who don't like to be tied down by nagging women.

After a good session wih a lady, I’m looking forward to the next one. I’m not interested in dating, or any long term relationship. If your looking for more than entertainment, you’re in the wrong place.
Some ladies I see regularly and a friendship develops. I care about some of the lady’s ive met on here.
And after a session I wish them well. Until the next time.
If it made me feel bad I wouldn’t see them again.
Some lady’s make me feel special, accept me as I am, so I see them again and again.

 

[highpark]

To greekgod69. I was in Yorkdale just this weekend and saw a young man who was clearly a burn victim. Some nasty scars on face and he had no ears. He was dressed great and was holding hands with a smokin hot blond. I was so impressed. I gave him a slight nod and a subtle grin. He gave me a smile and a cool half thumbs up hand gesture. When I saw that I knew he was on his game a had the world in his hands.
I have a friend at work. Boy is he fat. And a weird bumpy face like he's had bad acne scars or some skin disorder. Never asked him about it cause when I talk to him he's so damn fun and interesting. Great enthusiastic hand gestures too while he's talking. He's always smiling. U should see the girl he's seeing. She's smart and sexy.
I used to think I was awkward and skinny. I acted so ficking awkward cause I thought I was awkward. Now i just chill and act like I got things under control and never act awkward. I got lots of friends. Looks don't matter. Period. U need some success in life to help u build confidence. Did I mention that looks don't matter. Just work in yourself. And the rest will follow.

 

[Samranchoi]

............or maybe it is the women in the business who want to get paid so that they can ask you to leave (in a subtle tone or a "GET YOUR FRIGGIN ASS OUT OF MY PLACE" sort of way) when your time is up. I am of the opinion that there are far more men who want the women to stay with them after the time is up rather than the other way around.

 

[squeezer]

also remember that in order to attract women to want to fuck you just for sex and nothing else, you actually have to have something to offer to women sexually. shocking to some, i know.

Brutally honest but so true.