Do you regret getting married or having children

[jackal2006]

For the married folks on here both male and female a simple question for you: do you regret getting married or having children? If so, why? What do you know now that you wish you knew then?

I myself have never been married but I'd be open to it with the right person and I'd like to have children. I think I'd have a lot to offer and teach them. Yet, I see the low quality of women and all the divorces and it just seems like a risky move in Canada and especially Toronto. Too many lazy, money hungry, opportunists out there.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

For the married folks on here both male and female a simple question for you: do you regret getting married or having children? If so, why? What do you know now that you wish you knew then?

I myself have never been married but I'd be open to it with the right person and I'd like to have children. I think I'd have a lot to offer and teach them. Yet, I see the low quality of women and all the divorces and it just seems like a risky move in Canada and especially Toronto. Too many lazy, money hungry, opportunists out there.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

Having kids is one of the most rewarding experiences this life has to offer and one of the highest joys to experience and see them grow, develop and understand and reach for their potential. You have a lot of influence on them and how they develop, and realizing that precious relationship and how much it can affect the rest of your life by affecting theirs really puts your life and meaning into perspective. Once my kids grow up and are self sustaining I will have accomplished my last remaining goal in life and come full circle. Already got the degrees, already got the career now it’s realizing the impact you have on others and the purpose. Knowing this makes all the problems go away and helps deal with any obstacle life throws your way. I tried the selfish life however I find greater rewards putting others ahead of my own, and I think my kids are a key part if this.

 

[yomero5]

No


.

 

[Mr Deeds]

Getting married yes, having kids definitely no.

 

[koreanjames]

OP - may i ask how old are you?

 

[anon1]

No

ibid

 

[jackal2006]

@koreanjames I'm in the 35 to 45 age range.

That's why I was curious. I'm at an age that having children the window may be closing. But, I haven't found someone I can trust to marry and not clean me out with a divorce the first sign of trouble. I think my biggest regret will be not having kids.

 

[yomero5]

I have 2 kids but if I didn't have them I would still be happy - and a lot richer!!!

 

[bazokajoe]

@koreanjames I'm in the 35 to 45 age range.

That's why I was curious. I'm at an age that having children the window may be closing. But, I haven't found someone I can trust to marry and not clean me out with a divorce the first sign of trouble. I think my biggest regret will be not having kids.

Stay single and never have kids.If you can;t be happy alone,you never will be happy.

 

[Perry Mason]

Getting married is sometimes a pain in the ass...

Having children is a joy, and sometimes a pain in the ass...

Having grandchildren is a joy unsurpassed!!!! But impossible without, first, marriage and children... :adoration:

Perry

 

[superstar_88]

see thread on androids with gestation units.

 

[oil&gas]

I suggest the OP asking his parents first if they regret having had kids.

 

[RZG]

I myself have never been married but I'd be open to it with the right person and I'd like to have children. I think I'd have a lot to offer and teach them. Yet, I see the low quality of women and all the divorces and it just seems like a risky move in Canada and especially Toronto. Too many lazy, money hungry, opportunists out there.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts.[/QUOTE]
I think you answered your own question. I was married long ago and long divorced...never again. I never did the kids thing, sometimes I wonder what if. I`ve numerous friends that say they wouldn`t have them if they had a second chance. I think many guys never consider the enormous financial cost, might not seem important at 30 but at 60+, like myself, I`ll bet you look at the $$$$ end of it a lot differently.

 

[kid_kuh]

I myself have never been married but I'd be open to it with the right person and I'd like to have children. I think I'd have a lot to offer and teach them. Yet, I see the low quality of women and all the divorces and it just seems like a risky move in Canada and especially Toronto. Too many lazy, money hungry, opportunists out there.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts.
I think you answered your own question. I was married long ago and long divorced...never again. I never did the kids thing, sometimes I wonder what if. I`ve numerous friends that say they wouldn`t have them if they had a second chance. I think many guys never consider the enormous financial cost, might not seem important at 30 but at 60+, like myself, I`ll bet you look at the $$$$ end of it a lot differently.

Keep in mind it takes two for marriages to work. You will find problems on both sides of the coin. Women and Men both are to be blamed for failure in their marriages. The biggest problem I find is the lack of communication. Marriages with kids can be beautiful, but takes a lot of work. You have to decide for yourself if it's worth it for you. But don't blame one side or the other. You have to find the right person that you can communicate openly and honestly with (no judgments). You both have to be understanding of each other.

 

[superstar_88]

Sounds like a job with long hours and negative financial pay with potentially a bad boss. You better want that kid with your whole heart.

 

[steve bettman]

any guy who comes on here complaining of "low quality women" while wondering if he should get married already should know the answer: no. if you can't find someone who you actually respect to marry you, then why would you even bother? at the same time, if the only kind of women you can attract are the money hungry bitches, then you should probably be asking why that's the case for you when plenty of other men in this world are able to find kind, compassionate and financially-independent women to marry. is it because financially-independent women want nothing to do with you? is it because women who don't have to be economically dependent on a man have better options than "low quality" you? lol

She can be kind, compassionate and financially independent, but if she isn't attractive most men won't want her unless its for their own economic security, and most of the financially independent women i've met or had as clients are usually not attractive, just the way it is.

 

[Smallcock]

Where should one go to meet financially independent women? Do you guys meet lots of those women like this in the workplace?

By financially independent, I don't mean a woman that pays her own rent and has her own car. I mean someone that has actual assets, and has been more interested in life goals than riding the cock carousel.

As for kids, I've known people on both sides. Those that regret, and those that don't. Both acknowledge the financial cost and enormous time consumption required to raise kids.

 

[likwid]

I’m not married and pretty sure I don’t want children but I think this is also a difficult route to go. I get that marriage and children take a lot of sacrifice and by being alone, you’ll miss out on one of the best things in life (in theory), a successful loving relationship and raising offspring. It’s biologically baked in our genes, however if you pick the wrong partner and don’t raise the kids properly, it could definitely be bad. Ultimately it’s whether you want to take the risk and how confident you are with your relationship with your SO. Being alone will have its hardships but is definitely doable, either path is meaningless in the relative context of the entire cosmos.

 

[jackal2006]

@dawnlee

Did I strike a nerve? Do you see yourself as one of the low-quality women I mentioned or have met and is that why you lashed out calling me low quality? I wasn't directing my posting at anyone just curious what others thought.

Listen a while back when I lost my father and posted on here for some support healing from that loss I remember you gave me some great advice and I appreciated it. From your response it seems it triggered you and that's ok. Maybe you had a bad day or it's that time of the month so I'll give you a pass.

As I said, I am not against marriage but I do see a lot of low quality women here and I blame it on this new wave of feminism that has brainwashed them. For the record the first two waves of feminism I totally understand. But this recent one is fucked up. You may not agree and that's fine. It's my experience it's my opinion and this is a space for discussion hopefully without insult.

Of course you don't know me but in fact i have lots to offer, I have a good job, went to school got the degrees, speak more than two languages (a couple I've learnt for fun as an adult), have travelled , enjoy read, I have volunteered, no debt, take care of my family (I lost my father a while back and help take care of my mother). So I think I have many good qualities to offer but I'm not getting into a marriage if I'm not sure it's a good fit because divorce is too expensive, the personal and financial hit for a man is massive and for the kids even worse.

I don't disagree with you there are a few good women still out there that is true but they get over shadowed by the bad ones. I have more than one friend who are high quality men did everything right and the women ran away at the first sign of trouble and now they are dealing with difficult divorces.

Seeing this, I have not attempted to date for a few years now and especially after losing my father and adjusting to that new normal. Like I said so many bad quality women especially on-line that I am tired of it for now. Perhaps I'll meet someone good while not looking doing activities I enjoy but for now I'm good doing my own thing and scratching the itch through the hobby when I have to. Who knows maybe tomorrow I'll stumble into one of the few good ones left in this city and I'll write about that here.

Which brings up another good question. What would you consider a low quality woman ?

For me the biggest thing is someone with lack of family values, addictions, a lack of curiosity love of learning. I don't care if the person is not degreed. My grandmother didn't go to university and she's super smart and curious. Materialistic too. Things come and go I'm more about experiences and building memories.

 

[black booty lover]

I'm the opposite. I used to get a little down about the fact I never met miss right, and didn't get to have children. Now I'm super happy it never happened.